A judeca sau a nu judeca – Iosif Ton

sursa pozei voxdeibaptist

Articol scris de Iosif Ton (preluat de la resursecrestine.ro).

Motivul pentru care nu trebuie să judecăm şi să nu pronunţăm sentinţe asupra altora este faptul că noi nu avem toate informaţiile despre persoana aceea. Noi vedem numai nişte manifestări exterioare şi de moment ale omului, dar nu ştim ce este în adâncul lui şi de aceea, dacă îl judecăm vom pronunţa o sentinţă greşită!

Aşa de uşor spunem noi cuiva „laşule”, pentru o singură acţiune sau lipsă de acţiune, şi poate că dimpotrivă, omul acela este printre cei mai curajoşi oameni! Acelaşi lucru cu calificativele „prostule”, „lingăule”, „stupidule”, „trădătorule”, „falsule”,etc., etc..

Redau aici articolul in intregime:

În Biblie ni se spune uneori sa judecam (de ex. Luca 12:57), iar alteori ni se spune sa nu judecam (de ex. Matei 7:1-5). Veţi observa ca în ambele locuri citate Cel ce vorbeşte este Domnul Isus. Se contrazice Domnul Isus pe Sine Însuşi? Desigur că nu. Problema este la noi, că nu ştim că „a judeca” aste folosit în limbajul comun în mai multe sensuri. Când vedem şi înţelegem aceste sensuri, urmează doar să punem întrebarea: În acest text în ce sens este folosit termenul a judeca?

Gelu Arcadie Murariu a publicat în Romanian Times nr 169, din 11-24 sept. 2006, un articol în care dă pe scurt cele trei sensuri ale cuvântului a judeca. Iată-le:

„Mai întâi, a judeca înseamnă a soluţiona dispute între oameni, domeniu ce cade în sarcina judecătorilor de la tribunal.

În al doilea rând, a judeca înseamnă a discerne situaţii, a cântări fapte, a evalua, a stabili adevărul şi a decide în concordanţă cu el: „Şi pentru ce nu judecaţi voi înşivă ce este drept” (Luca 12:57).

În al treilea rând, a judeca înseamnă a emite judecăţi asupra altora şi a-i condamna, în afara unui sistem juridic, fără a fi calificaţi să o facem, fie pe baza unor criterii personale subiective, fie pe baza unor criterii biblice pe care le aplicăm la alţii dar nu la noi înşine.” (Italicele îmi aparţin, I.Ţ).

Cu privire la sensul prim, a soluţiona dispute între oameni nu este ceva atribuit doar judecătorilor de la tribunal. Apostolul Pavel spune că atunci când apar litigii între fraţi din Biserică, acestea trebuie soluţionate de oameni competenţi din Biserică (1 Corinteni 6:1-6).

Cu privire la al doilea sens, pe lângă citatul dat de G. Murariu din Luca 12:57, unde Domnul Isus ne cheamă să judecăm noi înşine ce este drept, mai adaug 1 Corinteni 14: 26-29 Pavel dă instrucţiuni ca în Biserică „să vorbească doi sau trei şi ceilalţi să judece”, adică să evalueze ideile vorbitorilor!

În ceste două sensuri ale cuvântului, noi suntem chemaţi să judecăm şi să nu ne temem să o facem. Dar ceea ce trebuie să înţelegem mai bine este al treilea sens al cuvântului a judeca. Dau din nou aici cuvântul lui G. Murariu:

„Acesta din urmă este un fel foarte periculos de a proceda şi semnalat cu vehemenţă în Scripturi. Cine acuză (acuzarea fiind parte a procesului de judecată) se aliază cu Acuzatorul („pârâşul fraţilor”), iar cine judecă (privilegiul Celui fără greşeală) uzurpă locul Judecătorului. A judeca pe alţii implică riscul de a fi judecaţi, la rândul nostru, de Dumnezeu, pe baza aceloraşi principii (cu acelaşi grad de asprime) după care i-am judecat noi pe ei (Matei 7:1-2). Un risc demn de luat în seamă. Felul acesta de a judeca este atât de impropriu încât Isus a folosit hiperbola bârnei pentru a-l înfiera, iar pe culpabil l-a calificat ca „făţarnic” (Matei 7:5).

Din aventura judecăţii nedrepte nu putem ieşi cu faţa curată. Judecăţile aplicate altora indică fără urmă de dubiu că ceva nu este în regulă în viaţa noastră. Omul pe care îl judeci eşti tu însuşi, principiu ilustrat în chip desăvârşit în episodul confruntării împăratului David de către proorocul Natan. Verdictul este întotdeauna: „Tu eşti omul acesta!” (2 Samuel 12:1-14).”

Îi sunt recunoscător lui G. Murariu pentru această explicare a termenului „a judeca.” Să ducem acum analiza acestui termen ceva mai departe şi să vedem cum se aplică ea în viaţa practică. Apostolul Pavel ne avertizează:

„De aceea, să nu judecaţi nimic înainte de vreme, până va veni Domnul, care va scoate la lumină lucrurile ascunse în întuneric şi va descoperi gândurile inimilor” (1 Corinteni 4:5).

Motivul pentru care nu trebuie să judecăm şi să nu pronunţăm sentinţe asupra altora este faptul că noi nu avem toate informaţiile despre persoana aceea. Noi vedem numai nişte manifestări exterioare şi de moment ale omului, dar nu ştim ce este în adâncul lui şi de aceea, dacă îl judecăm vom pronunţa o sentinţă greşită!

Aşa de uşor spunem noi cuiva „laşule”, pentru o singură acţiune sau lipsă de acţiune, şi poate că dimpotrivă, omul acela este printre cei mai curajoşi oameni! Acelaşi lucru cu calificativele „prostule”, „lingăule”, „stupidule”, „trădătorule”, „falsule”,etc., etc..

Dar este ceva mai mult în actul acesta de a judeca şi de a pronunţa sentinţe de calificare, sau – cel mai adesea – de descalificare. S-a observat de foarte mulţi analişti că de regulă cei laşi, îi declară laşi pe toţi ceilalţi; cei mincinoşi, îi suspectează şi acuză de minciună pe toţi ceilalţi; cei hoţi îi suspectează şi acuză de furt şi de necinste pe toţi ceilalţi, etc.

Aceasta ne spune Domnul Isus: Tu acuzi pe cineva că are o aşchiuţă în ochiul lui, dar aceasta o faci deoarece în ochiul tău este o bârnă!

Cu alte cuvinte, când ai tendinţa să judeci si să califici pe alţii cu cuvinte înjositoare, fii atent că problema este în tine! Caută şi vezi că tu însuţi suferi de boala pe care o vezi aşa de bine la altul!

Domnul Isus, ca Dumnezeu întrupat, ne spune apoi că la judecata finală a lui Dumnezeu, unul dintre criteriile după care ne va judeca va fi acesta: Cu ce fel de judecată i-ai judecat tu pe alţii vei fi judecat tu! De ce? Fiindcă prin judecata ta ai scos la iveală ce era în adâncul tău şi ai făcut rău altora prin ceea ce era în tine! Răul pe care l-ai făcut celor cărora le-ai aplicat cuvinte înjositoare, umilitoare, jignitoare, rănitoare şi ucigătoare, trebuie să cadă acum asupra ta!

Prin urmare, a judeca şi a pronunţa sentinţe este unul dintre cele mai periculoase lucruri pe care le putem face!

Atunci, ce-i de făcut? Să ne fixăm bine în structura noastră de gândire şi de comportament: Să judec ideile acestui om, dar niciodată să nu calific omul datorită ideilor lui! Să spun că ideea este greşită, dar să nu descalific omul pentru ideea lui!

Mai adaug aici o dimensiune pentru termenul a judeca. Unii se grăbesc să spună: „Omul acesta nu-i născut din nou”; sau, „Omul acesta nu-i mântuit?” Acestea sunt judecăţi care îi aparţin numai lui Dumnezeu şi el le va pronunţa numai la judecata Lui! Dacă eu fac asemenea judecăţi, eu mă aşez pe scaunul de judecată al lui Dumnezeu şi nu mi se cuvine locul acela! Şi voi fi pedepsit aspru pentru o asemenea acţiune!

Eu pot să spun: După cum se poartă şi cum vorbeşte omul acesta, El nu-L cunoaşte pe Dumnezeu! Sau, duhul meu nu mărturiseşte cu duhul lui! Sau, eu simt că omul acesta nu ne duce pe calea cea bună!

Sau, pot spune:

Comportamentul acestui om nu este comportamentul unui fiu de Dumnezeu; sau, comportamentul acestui profet nu este după cuvântul lui Dumnezeu, deci nu mă pot baza pe profeţiile lui.

Dar dacă el este mântuit sau nu, aceasta o va spune numai Dumnezeu!

Ceea ce vreau să observaţi este cu câtă gelozie vreau să fim în toate după Sfânta Scriptură. Unii râd de noi din cauza aceasta. Noi considerăm că aceasta este atitudinea fundamentală a copiilor lui Dumnezeu.

Family Series 4 – What is a wife’s responsibility in solving marital conflict? by John Piper

The following is an edited transcript of the audio from desiringGod.org

What is a wife’s responsibility in solving marital conflict?

It’s an interesting question in regard to thinking of marriage as a model of Christ and the church. The husband is representing Christ, the wife is representing the church. And if there’s a problem in the relationship between Christ and the church, then what should happen? I don’t want to absolutize this to say you can draw out all the analogies here. But let’s just ask that: what should happen?

Christ is sovereign, and he takes initiatives. But, he puts it in the heart of his church to do things. Now husbands aren’t sovereign, so the analogy breaks down. We can’t put things like he can in the hearts of our wives. But we can pray.

So what does he put in the heart of the church? He puts prayer in the heart of the church. So I’m part of the bride. I see a problem between me and Christ. There’s a problem in this relationship. What should I do? Blame him? I should go to him. I should ask him for help. I should talk to him.

Now wives clearly see things husbands don’t see. They are under the Lord Jesus for themselves, not just under the Lord Jesus through their husband. I don’t like that model at all, like God –> husband –> wife. No. It’s God –> wife, God –> husband, and then the husband has a role of leadership there. So she knows her Jesus, she knows her Lord. She may know him way better than her husband does.

She has sensitivities about what’s making this marriage broke, and she should say to God first, „O God, heal this marriage. Please work on this marriage.” And then she should ask, „Lord, give me wisdom how I can help my husband see what I see.” And there are humble and submissive ways to do that.

There’s a way to be a submissive wife and be way ahead of your husband spiritually. Or in a given situation to be way more perceptive than he is.

Leadership in a marriage doesn’t imply perfection or infallibility or that in every situation he’s got the scoop and knows the deal. It means that he’s generally taking the initiatives. Which means he’s going to care a lot about making this wife full in her experience of Christ, including her role as pointing out to him things in his humanity (not his Christ-likeness, but in his humanity) that he’s not seeing.

So I would say a wife’s role is to see all that God enables her to see and then ask the Lord for wise and humble and submissive ways to share, to bring into her husband’s life her perspective on things. And it’s his job as a leader to be humbly receptive to those kinds of things and then to take action.

She doesn’t want to take over at that point. She wants to say, „Here’s the way I see it. I think we need to do this or this or this.” And then his job as the leader—and this is the hardest job as the leader—is to humble himself to act on that instead of saying, „OK, if you don’t like the way I do it, go ahead.”

Yesterday in the airport we saw a husband bring his wife a Coke, and there was no ice in it. And she said, „Where’s the ice?” And I could tell on his face that he wasn’t happy about that question. „I just got you a Coke, and you say, ‘Where’s the ice?'” And then he handed her the juice, and she said, „You got this kind of juice for our kid?”

So he blew it: he got Coke without ice and the wrong kind of juice. And he comes down to the end of the line and just sits down, three seats down from where they are. Now at that moment, what does leadership do? Leadership has picked up that this wife wants ice in her Coke, and this wife wants a different kind of juice for their three-year-old who’s walking around here. And he just blew it on both and he’s sulking at the end of the line, just like I do. That’s not leadership.

The hardest thing in the world at that moment is to receive from your wife news that you don’t want to receive, and then to rise above the self-pity, the anger, and the frustration of that moment that „I just served her, and she didn’t say ‘Thank you’ but ‘Where’s the ice?'” You’re going to forgive, you’re going to rise, and you’re going to lead and say, „I’ll go get it.”

So yes, we husbands need to hear things we’re blind to—like reminders that she likes ice, and that the kid needs orange juice not grapefruit juice—and we need to then lay it down and stop sulking and being self-pitying and go lead.

That’s probably more than they were asking.

How can wives encourage their husbands?

July 25, 2008 |by John Piper

The following is an edited transcript of the audio.

How can wives encourage their husbands?

The first thing I would say is pray earnestly for your husband. We are so prone to instruct, and it’s called nagging when it gets to a certain point.

The second thing I would say is affirm every good thing that you see. Be verbally affirming of every work of grace in a husband’s life.

And thirdly, from time to time in moments of sweetness, say, „Could we talk about the way it’s going?” In other words, if she has concerns and he is not doing what he ought to be doing, instead of striking out at the moment the failure happens, find a neutral time when things are good between you and say, „Could we just talk a little bit about this?” Then bring up the issue at a moment where he might have the emotional resources to acknowledge the difficulty, instead of when he has just failed and is likely to bristle with self-defense.

So pray, affirm the evidences of grace you see in his life, and find the most helpful and hope-filled moments to talk about the short-comings.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org© Desiring God

Family Series – 3 Husbands who love like Christ and the wives who submit to them by John Piper

John Piper from Desiring God ministries.  You can listen to the 36 minute  audio sermon here.

Ephesians 5:21-23; 1 Peter 3:1-7

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. „For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you. Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.

Let’s jump into this text at verse 31. It’s a quote from Genesis 2:24, „For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.” In the next verse (v. 32) Paul looks back on this quote and says, „This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

The Mystery of Marriage

Now why is the coming together of a man and woman to form one flesh in marriage a mystery? Paul’s answer in verse 32 is this: the marriage union is a mystery because its deepest meaning has been partially concealed, but is now being openly revealed by the apostle, namely, that marriage is an image of Christ and the church. Verse 32: „I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

So marriage is like a metaphor or an image or a picture or parable that stands for something more than a man and a woman becoming one flesh. It stands for the relationship between Christ and the church. That’s the deepest meaning of marriage. It’s meant to be a living drama of how Christ and the church relate to each other.

Notice how verses 28–30 describe the parallel between Christ and the church being one body and the husband and wife being one flesh. „Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it.” In other words, the one-flesh union between man and wife means that in a sense they are now one body so that the care a husband has for his wife he has for himself. They are one. What he does to her he does to himself. Then he compares this to Christ’s care for the church. Picking up near the end of verse 29, he says the husband nourishes and cherishes his own flesh, ” . . . as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” In other words, just as the husband is one flesh with his wife, so the church is one body with Christ. When the husband cherishes and nourishes his wife, he cherishes and nourishes himself; and when Christ cherishes and nourishes the church, he cherishes and nourishes himself.

If you want to understand God’s meaning for marriage, you have to grasp that we are dealing with a copy and an original, a metaphor and a reality, and parable and a truth. And the original, the reality, the truth is God’s marriage to his people, or Christ’s marriage to the church. While the copy, the metaphor, the parable is a husband’s marriage to his wife. Geoffrey Bromiley says, „As God made man in His own image, so He made earthly marriage in the image of His own eternal marriage with His people” (God and Marriage, p. 43).

The Roles of Husbands and Wives

One of the things to learn from this mystery is the roles of husband and wife in marriage. One of Paul’s points in this passage is that the roles of husband and wife in marriage are not arbitrarily assigned and they are not reversible without obscuring God’s purpose for marriage. The roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and his church. God means (by marriage) to say something about his Son and his church by the way husbands and wives relate to each other.

We see this in verses 23–25. Verse 24 speaks to the wife about her half of the metaphor and verses 23 and 25 speak about the husband’s half of the metaphor. Wives, find your distinctive role as a wife in keying off the way the church relates to Christ. Verse 24: „As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.” Then to husbands: find your distinctive role as a husband in keying off the way Christ relates to the church. First verse 23: „The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” Then verse 25: „Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

The Redeeming of Headship and Submission

Think about this for a moment in relation to what we have seen so far in this series. I tried to show from Genesis 1–3 that the when sin entered the world, it ruined the harmony of marriage NOT because it brought headship and submission into existence, but because it twisted man’s humble, loving headship into hostile domination in some men and lazy indifference in others. And it twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women and brazen insubordination in others. Sin didn’t create headship and submission; it ruined them and distorted them and made them ugly and destructive.

Now if this is true, then the redemption we anticipate with the coming of Christ is not the dismantling of the original, created order of loving headship and willing submission but a recovery of it from the ravages of sin. And that’s just what we find in Ephesians 5:21–33. Wives, let your fallen submission be redeemed by modeling it after God’s intention for the church! Husbands, let your fallen headship be redeemed by modeling it after God’s intention for Christ!

Therefore, headship is not a right to command and control. It’s a responsibility to love like Christ: to lay down your life for your wife in servant leadership. And submission is not slavish or coerced or cowering. That’s not the way Christ wants the church to respond to his leadership: he wants it to be free and willing and glad and refining and strengthening.

In other words what this passage of Scripture does is two things: it guards against the abuses of headship by telling husbands to love like Jesus; and it guards against the debasing of submission by telling wives to respond the way the church does to Christ.

Defining Headship and Submission

Maybe what would be most helpful here would be to give a crisp definition of headship and submission as I understand them from this text, and then raise an objection or two and close with some practical implications.

  • Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
  • Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.

I’ll come back to some practical implications of those definitions in a moment. But first let me say a word about a couple common objections.

What About Mutual Submission in Ephesians 5:21?

The ideas of headship and submission are not popular today. The spirit of our society makes it very hard for people to even hear texts like this in a positive way. The most common objection to the picture I just painted of loving leadership and willing submission is that verse 21 teaches us to be mutually submissive to each other. „Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

So one writer says, „By definition, mutual submission rules out hierarchical differences” (Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Roles, p. 154). In other words if mutual submission is a reality between husband and wife, then it’s a contradiction to say the husband has a special responsibility to lead and the wife a special responsibility to support that leadership and help carry it through.

What shall we say to this? I would say that it is simply not true. In fact the writer who said that mutual submission rules out all hierarchical relationships shows that it’s not true a page later when he says, „The church thrives on mutual subjection. In a Spirit-led church, the elders submit to the congregation in being accountable for their watch-care, and the congregation submits to the elders in accepting their guidance” (p. 155, on p. 251 he even says, „the congregations submit to their leaders by obeying . . . „). In other words, when it comes to the church, he has no trouble seeing how mutual submission is possible between two groups, one of whom has the specially responsibility to guide and the other of whom has the special responsibility to accept guidance.

And that’s right. There is no contradiction between mutual submission and a relationship of leadership and response. Mutual submission doesn’t mean that both partners must submit in exactly the same ways. Christ submitted himself to the church in one way, by a kind of servant-leadership that cost him his life. And the church submits herself to Christ in another way by honoring his leadership and following him on the Calvary road.

So it is not true that mutual submission rules out the family pattern of Christ-like leadership and church-like submission. Mutual submission doesn’t obliterate those roles; it transforms them.

Does the Term „Head” Even Refer to Leadership?

One other common objection to the pattern of leadership and submission is that the term „head” does not carry the meaning of leadership at all. Instead it means „source,” somewhat like we use the word „fountainhead” or the „head of a river” (Bilezikian, pp. 157–162). So to call a husband the head of his wife wouldn’t mean that he is to be a leader, but that he is in some sense her „source” or her „fountainhead.”

Now there are long studies to show that this is not a normal meaning for the word „head” in Paul’s day. But you’ll never read these articles because they are too technical. So let me try to show you something from these verses that everyone can see.

The husband is pictured as the head of his wife as Christ is pictured as the head of the church, his body (see vv. 29–30). Now if the head means „source,” then what is the husband the source of? What does the body get from the head? It gets nourishment (that’s mentioned in verse 29). And we can understand that because the mouth is in the head, and nourishment comes through the mouth to the body. But that’s not all the body gets from the head. It gets guidance because the eyes are in the head. And it gets alertness and protection because the ears are in the head.

In other words, if the husband as head is one flesh with his wife, his body, and if he is therefore her source of guidance and food and alertness, then the natural conclusion is that the head, the husband, has a primary responsibility for leadership and provision and protection.

So even if you give „head” the meaning „source” the most natural interpretation of these verses is that husbands are called by God to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership and protection and provision in the home. And wives are called to honor and affirm the husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.

Practical Implications

Now I said I would come back to some practical implications.

1. The Transformation of Leading

The call in verse 25 for husbands to „love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her” revolutionizes the way he leads. This is where we ended last week in Luke 22:26 where Jesus says, „Let the leader become as one who serves.” In other words, husbands, don’t stop leading, but turn all your leading into serving. The responsibility of leadership is given not to puff yourself up, but to build your family up.

2. The Transformation of Submission

Submission does not mean putting the husband in the place of Christ. Verse 21 says you submit out of reverence for Christ. Submission does not mean that the husband’s word is absolute. Only Christ’s word is absolute. No wife should follow a husband into sin. You can’t do that in reverence to Christ. Submission does not mean surrendering thought. It does not mean no input on decisions or no influence on her husband. It does not come from ignorance or incompetence. It comes from what is fitting and appropriate (Colossians 3:18) in God’s created order.

Submission is an inclination of the will to say yes to the husband’s leadership and a disposition of the spirit to support his initiatives. The reason I say it’s a disposition and an inclination is because there will be times when the most submissive wife will hesitate at a husband’s decision. It may look unwise to her. Suppose it’s Noël and I. I am about to decide something foolish for the family. At that moment Noël could express her submission something like this: „Johnny, I know you’ve thought a lot about this, and I love it when you take the initiative to plan for us and take the responsibility like this, but I really don’t have peace about this decision and I think we need to talk about it some more. Could we? Maybe tonight sometime?”

The reason that is a kind of biblical submission is because

  1. Husbands, unlike Christ, are fallible and ought to admit it.
  2. Husbands ought to want their wives to be excited about the family decisions, because Christ wants us to be excited about following his decisions and not just follow begrudgingly.
  3. The way Noël expressed her misgivings communicated clearly that she endorses my leadership and affirms me in my role as head.

When a man senses a primary God-given responsibility for the spiritual life of the family, gathering the family for devotions, taking them to church, calling for prayer at meals—when he senses a primary God-given responsibility for the discipline and education of the children, the stewardship of money, the provision of food, the safety of the home, the healing of discord, that special sense of responsibility is not authoritarian or autocratic or domineering or bossy or oppressive or abusive. It is simply servant-leadership. And I have never met a wife who is sorry she is married to a man like that. Because when God designs a thing (like marriage), he designs it for his glory and our good.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

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