Do looks matter ? A Christian perspective

Page by Duncan Macleod – Girl in Dove Real Beauty Ad thinks she’s fat. Photo via theinspirationroom.com

We may say that beauty or looks don’t matter, but here is a startling look at how media shapes the way we think and act from a very early age. These are the attitudes (listed on the Washington University website) that we have to battle in our own kids’ lives:

Media’s Effect on Body Image

The popular media (television, movies, magazines, etc.) have, since World War II, increasingly held up a thinner and thinner body image as the ideal for women.

  • In a survey of girls 9 and 10 years old, 40% have tried to lose weight, according to an ongoing study funded by the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute.
  • In a study on fifth graders, 10 year old girls and boys told researchers they were dissatisfied with their own bodies after watching a music video by Britney Spears or a clip from the TV show „Friends”.
  • A 1996 study found that the amount of time an adolescent watches soaps, movies and music videos is associated with their degree of body dissatisfaction and desire to be thin.
  • One study reports that at age thirteen, 53% of American girls are „unhappy with their bodies.” This grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen.

A Kaiser Foundation study by Nancy Signorielli found that:

  • In movies, particularly, but also in television shows and the accompanying commercials, women’s and girls’ appearance is frequently commented on: 58 percent of female characters in movies had comments made about their looks, as did 28 percent in television shows and 26 percent of the female models in the accompanying commercials. Mens’ and boys’ appearance is talked about significantly less often in all three media: a quarter (24%) of male characters in the movies, and 10 percent and 7 percent, respectively, in television shows and commercials.
  • One in every three (37%) articles in leading teen girl magazines also included a focus on appearance, and most of the advertisements (50%) used an appeal to beauty to sell their products.
  • The commercials aimed at female viewers that ran during the television shows most often watched by teen girls also frequently used beauty as a product appeal (56% of commercials). By comparison, this is true of just 3 percent of television commercials aimed at men.

Source: National Institute on Media and the Family   HT source

Read the article below from the Gospel Coalition for a Christian perspective:

„I don’t care what she’ll look like,” the young man declared about his yet-unknown future bride. „I’ll love her for who she is inside.” Everyone in the small gathering of young people looked at him with distinctly unconvinced expressions. But this was a church gathering, and we all knew he was saying the spiritual thing. Such piety simply couldn’t be challenged. That is, until one guy ventured what was to him a sincere question: „Yeah, but don’t you want her to be hot?”

As if something appalling had been said, we collectively turned to the youth minister, who had been quietly backing away from the conversation. With an uneasy smile, he said, „Well, you can make a pretty girl spiritual, but you can’t make a spiritual girl pretty.”

Everyone sensed the sarcasm in his maxim, but it didn’t bring much resolution to the dilemma. Do looks matter? This question comes up a lot in my current ministry, too, usually in the form of a single friend feeling guilty for not being attracted to an otherwise worthy romantic candidate. I usually tell friends they shouldn’t feel guilty for not being attracted to someone–but they shouldn’t think the matter is necessarily settled, either.

Importance of the Body

The importance of physical attraction is related to the importance of the body itself. The Bible presents us as a psychosomatic unity. That’s a fancy way of saying that we are embodied souls. This is, in fact, God’s ideal for us even in eternity. We’re not souls longing to be freed from bodies but rather to have resurrected ones (1 Cor 15:35-57). The body is a necessary and good part of God’s design of every person you meet. So loving the inside of a person while disregarding the outside is not the biblical ideal of love. Just read Song of Solomon if you don’t believe me. Looks do matter. No woman wants a Valentine’s Day card that says, „You’re so sweet on the inside, it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside.” No man does either, though admittedly we are the visually inferior half of our race.

But before we settle into holding out for that girl with the right curves or the guy with the square jaw, let me point out that the importance of the body does not necessarily validate our personal preferences regarding what it should look like.

Basis of Attraction

Marital love involves valuing your spouse’s body. But this isn’t exactly the same thing as finding it attractive, at least not in the way we typically think of finding something attractive. We may inadvertently assume that being attracted to something is primarily about its level of attractiveness. Attraction seems like it just happens without our conscious participation, and we therefore conclude it is beyond our control. You’re attracted to someone, or you’re not, and that’s that. But attraction seems so automatic because we are culturally influenced even at the level of desire. Our preferences unwittingly imitate the narrow criteria for beauty reflected in fitness magazines or clothing advertisements, in the fashion of the day or the remarks of family members.

Without dismissing entirely the mysterious nature of attraction, I wish to point out that we are more capable than we often recognize of directing our preferences. We should not presume that our initial aesthetic sensibilities are an unchallengeable law within us. We have some level of direction over them.

The basis for attraction is valuing an actual person, body and soul. Husbands and wives should be attracted to one another because they value the whole person, not because they happen to like olive skin or a firm body. Those things change, but physical attraction need not. Attraction is more a matter of my commitment to value the full breadth of who my spouse is.

Isn’t this more like Jesus’ love for his people than simply following initial attractions? I’m not casting doubt on couples who fell in love at first sight–but even love at first sight will eventually require the self-emptying love that only Jesus makes us capable of giving (Phil 2:1-11). In marriage we hold hold our preferences loosely, valuing the person concretely rather than seeking a certain body shape or hair color. This is a far more stable basis for physical attraction in marriage. And it makes for better Valentine’s Day cards.

Preparation for Marriage

This principle can inform the way we seek a spouse. Perhaps this means that singles should be willing to direct their affections toward potential spouses they may not initially find attractive. My reasoning is not that looks are unimportant–remember, our bodies are a vital aspect of who we are. Rather, my reasoning is that our opinion of what constitutes good looks must not be an idol carved in stone. We need to be willing to challenge our own preferences regarding physical attraction in light of the greater principle that attraction stems from valuing a person.

How do you do this? Honestly, I don’t know. There is a level of mystery to the whole thing that we can’t escape. But maybe it could start with simply acknowledging that weak physical attraction is not necessarily a permanent situation. If you know a potential mate who is godly, relates well to you, and would otherwise be a worthy spouse, you should not feel guilty for feeling unattracted. Instead, holding your preferences with an open hand before the Lord, ask him what he would have you do. You may decide to pursue this person–then, you determine to appreciate God’s design, body and soul. You may be surprised at just how strong such properly grounded attraction can become.

HT www.thegospelcoalition.org

Nu urmări eliberarea de pornografie, urmăreşte-L pe Hristos – Don’t Pursue Freedom from Pornography, Pursue Christ (English/Romanian)

Un articol din arhiva, care l-am postat in noiembrie 2012, dar pentru ca a fost un ajutor pentru unii cititori, care se lupta cu problema pornografiei, il repostam aici:

telegraph.co.uk

Tu nu te lupti cu o dependenta de pornografie, tu te lupti cu o dependenta de pacat si in timp ce tu il cauti pe Hristos, in timp ce te increzi in El vei descoperi libertate din dependenta ta de pacat si eliberare de pacatul sexual. Eliberarea de pacatul sexual si de orice fel de pacat nu vine prin confruntarea pacatului si prin a spune, „Trebuie sa biruiesc asta.” Ci vine din a gasi acel ceva care este mai frumos- care este Hristos, si odata ce-L vezi pe El, odata ce te uiti la El ca fiind mai bun, vei birui cu siguranta.

Dacă vrei eliberarea de pornografie, atunci întoarce-ţi ochii spre frumuseţea, sacrificiul lui Isus Hristos pentru salvarea păcătoşilor de mânia Lui Dumnezeu, bând El acea mânie pentru credincios la cruce.

English Title: Don’t Pursue Freedom from Pornography, Pursue Christ VIDEO by

Related articles

Căsătoria = Sănătate ! Mariajul este benefic la propriu pentru inimă, susțin experții de la Universitatea Emory

wedding bride groom 1 million lightsPhoto credit www.canberratimes.com.au

Inca o stire amuzanta, dar nu surprinzatoare:

În urma cercetării efectuate pe un eșantion de peste 500 de pacienți supuși unor intervenții chirurgicale pentru afecțiuni cardiovasculare, specialiștii au observat că participanții căsătoriți aveau cel puțin de trei ori mai multe șanse de a supraviețui față de celibatari. Rezultatul a fost valabil atât în cazul bărbaților, cât și al femeilor. Pe de altă parte, chiar dacă supraviețuiau primelor trei luni de la operație, celibatarii prezentau un risc major de a muri după cinci ani de la intervenția chirurgicală (aproximativ 70%). O explicație a fenomenului derivă din importanța îngrijirii acordate de partenerul de viață, dar și din maniera pozitivă de a privi intervenția chirurgicală, observată în rândul pacienților căsătoriți, sugerează autoarea studiului, Ellen Idler, expertă în sociologie.

Un rezultat asemănător a fost obținut și de experții de la Brigham and Women’s Hospital, în urma unui studiu prin care au analizat impactul căsătoriei asupra diagnosticării și speranței de viață în rândul pacienților cu cancer. În urma demersului, ei au observat că persoanele căsătorite aveau mai multe șanse de a primi diagnosticul înainte ca tumoarea să ajungă la metastază, dar și șanse mai mari de a supraviețuii bolii, față de cei singuri.

Totodată, căsătoria îi protejează pe indivizi de accidentele fatale, au observat specialiștii de la Universitatea Rice. Concluziile studiului au arătat că celibatarii și cei care au divorțat sunt de două ori mai expuși riscului de a muri în urma unor evenimente care puteau fi evitate ușor, față de cei căsătoriți. Balanța dintre căsătoriți și persoanele singure s-a echilibrat în cazul accidentelor dificil de prevenit. „Starea civilă are o influenţă pentru că poate oferi sprijin pozitiv, poate demonta unele riscuri ale partenerului și poate oferi un sprijin imediat, care salvează viața în caz de urgență”, a explicat coordonatorul studiului, prof. Justin Deeney.

Citeste articolul in intregime aici – http://www.semneletimpului.ro

Un colaj Video cu o tânără bătută zilnic – Violenţa din familie, păcatul ascuns. Ce spune Biblia?

Ce spune Biblia despre violenta in familie? Cateva versete:

  1. Coloseni 3:19 –  Soţilor, iubiţi-vă soţiile şi nu fiţi aspri cu ele!
  2. Psalmi 11:5  – Domnul îl cercetează pe cel drept, dar pe cel rău şi pe cel ce iubeşte violenţa, sufletul Lui îi urăşte.
  3. 2 Timotei 3:1-5 – Să ştii că în zilele de pe urmă vor fi vremuri grele. 2 Căci oamenii vor fi iubitori de sine, iubitori de bani, lăudăroşi, aroganţi, blasfemiatori, neascultători de părinţi, nemulţumitori, lipsiţi de sfinţenie, 3 fără afecţiune, neînduplecaţi, acuzatori, neînfrânaţi (in engleza ‘brutali’), sălbatici, neiubitori de bine, 4 trădători, nechibzuiţi, încrezuţi, iubitori mai degrabă de plăceri decât de Dumnezeu, 5 având doar o formă de evlavie, dar negându-i puterea.
  4. Efeseni 4:31 – Orice amărăciune, mânie, furie, ţipăt şi blasfemie şi orice răutate să piară dintre voi!
  5. Romani 12:16-19 – Trăiţi în armonie unii cu alţii! Nu vă gândiţi la lucrurile înalte, ci asociaţi-vă cu cei smeriţi! Nu vă consideraţi singuri înţelepţi! 17 Nu întoarceţi nimănui rău pentru rău! Urmăriţi ce este bine înaintea tuturor oamenilor! 18 Dacă este posibil, atât cât depinde de voi, trăiţi în pace cu toţi oamenii! 19 Preaiubiţilor, nu vă răzbunaţi niciodată singuri, ci lăsaţi loc mâniei lui Dumnezeu, pentru că este scris: „A Mea este răzbunarea; Eu voi răsplăti! zice Domnul.
  6. Psalmi 10:17-18 – Tu, Doamne, asculţi dorinţa celor sărmani; Tu le întăreşti inima, plecându-Ţi urechea la cererea lor, 18 ca să faci dreptate orfanului şi celui asuprit, pentru ca omul, care este din ţărână, să nu mai insufle groaza.
  7. Psalmi 10:11 – Gura celui drept este un izvor de viaţă, dar gura celor răi ascunde violenţă.
  8. Efeseni 4:26 – „Mâniaţi-vă şi nu păcătuiţi!“ Nu lăsaţi să apună soarele peste mânia voastra. 

Sursa  Photo credit www.huffingtonpost. si http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Un colaj video a 365 de fotografii făcute în fiecare zi de o femeie agresată fizic de partenerul ei a devenit viral pe internet şi a reuşit să aducă în prim-plan lupta împotriva violenţei domestice.

Dacă în primele fotografii tânăra este frumoasă şi zâmbitoare, spre final chipul ei suferă modificări semnificative din cauza bătăilor primite. Tot la finalul clipului, ea ţine în mână un afiş pe care scrie în limba sârbă: „Vă rog, ajutaţi-mă! Nu ştiu dacă apuc ziua de mâine.”

Clipul este bazat pe fapte reale şi a fost creat de Organizaţia B92 din Serbia, care are ca scop aducerea la cunoştinţă a efectele grave ale violenţei în familie, dar şi construirea unui adăpost în Belgrad pentru victimele acestui tip de maltratare.

 10 români mor, lunar, din cauza violenţei domestice

Sute de români au murit în şapte ani din cauza violenţei domestice, mai exact 10 oameni în fiecare lună. Pentru autorităţi sunt doar statistici, însă pentru una din patru femei poate fi sfârşitul. Cu ocazia zilei de 25 noiembrie, declarată Ziua internaţională pentru eliminarea violenţei împotriva femeilor, Ministerul Muncii, Familiei şi Protecţiei Sociale a pus în dezbatere o strategie bazată pe prevenţia abuzului.

„Implementarea strategiei a început anul acesta si va continua până în 2017, şi nu va presupune niciun fel de alocări suplimentare de la bugetul de stat, finanţarea fiind aproape în exclusivitate bazată pe atragerea de fonduri europene nerambursabile”, a precizat secretarul de stat Denisa Oana Pătraşcu.

Campania presupune o caravană numită „Toleranţă zero faţă de violenţa în familie” şi vizează modificarea atitudinii comunităţii faţă de violenţa în familie, precum şi sensibilizarea autorităţilor locale pentru a se implica în prevenirea şi combaterea fenomenului, prin mobilizarea resurselor de care dispun. Sursa Semnele Timpului.

Pornography – What’s at risk when people think they can maintain a life of Christian discipleship while continuing to view pornography?

Dr. Heath Lambert, author of „Finally Free” at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I’d answer that (question) like this:

The men I’m doing ministry with, who are coming to me and saying, „I have this incredible struggle with pornography, I’ve been stuck for a long time and I don’t know how to get out of it.” By the time I’m having this conversation with someone, I’m actually encouraged. That doesn’t freak me out at all, I’m really encouraged when you’ve got a guy who says, „Let me open up my life and tell you what’s going on.” The people that concern me are the people that I’m not talking to. People that aren’t talking to the pastor, that aren’t talking to somebody else, because those are the people who are destroying their ministry, or their future ministry. They’re destroying their marriage and family, or their future marriage and family.

Because the way sin works, is it destroys. The lie of internet pornography is ‘, I’ll do this little thing over here, and it’s nasty, and it’s ugly, but I get finished with it and I cover it up, and I’ll go back to the rest of my life.” And the problem is that sin doesn’t stay covered up. You think you can control it, and you cannot control it. And it will break out, it will ruin your life.

And the tragedy of that is that the worst consequences are actually the ones that are stored up over a long amount of time. And so, these men who are doing this are sipping on poison that is eventually going to kill their ministry efforts and their efforts at marriage and family. They’re literally destroying their lives and their effectiveness for Christ, and they don’t even understand it. (Photos via Amazon)

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385832

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(2) For those seeking to overcome pornography, 

what practical measures are commonly missing from their strategy?

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385831

See Parts 3 & 4 also which answer the following questions:

Part 3 – How can people identify whether their sorrow over sin is godly sorrow or worldly sorrow?

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385833

That’s a great question, and where so much of the action is. Because you can have 2 people that are both sobbing, that are begging to be different, that are both begging you to help them and they swear they’re gonna change from now on. And you don’t know if either of them, or any of them, if they’re serious about it, if that’s the kind of change that will last. And so, this is why Paul’s language in 2 Corinthian 7 is so helpful, because he makes a distinction between these 2 kinds of sorrow. There’s Godly sorrow that leads to life and peace and there is worldly sorrow that leads to death and despair. And the difference is fundamentally, whether the sorrow is about you and your kingdom, or about Jesus and His kingdom. If you’re sad because you got found out, if you’re sad because of the consequences, that is the kind of sorrow that will kill you. The Bible is very clear on this. But if you’re sad over your sin because God’s law has been broken, because you’ve grieved the Holy Spirit, then that is the kind of sorrow that indicates that you’re turning the corner because it indicates that you’re moving from yourself, in your own lust, which is why you looked at the porn to begin with, towards God and His kingdom. And the markers between those are a number that I mention in the book. But, just a few that I’d mention here that are most significant are:

  1. Do you have the willingness to reach out to others for help? Do you have the willingness to expose yourself and bring the darkness into the light?
  2. Do you have the willingness to accept the consequences? Are you willing to have your wife be upset?
  3. Are you willing to tell your parents and have them cut off your internet privileges?
  4. Are you willing to lose your job at your church because of being sexually immoral?

People who are willing to face the consequences are people who are demonstrating that their sorrow is the Godly kind that leads to life.

Part 4 – How are pastors particularly vulnerable to pornography, and what are the dangers?

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385834

There is a recent statistic out that says that 75% of pastors do nothing to make themselves accountable to anyone with regard to pornography. That’s terrible. I don’t think I wanna make a law here, where the Bible leaves people free, but I think I wanna say that in this pornographic age, it is reckless and irresponsible for a minister of the Gospel to take no measures to insulate themselves from pornography, for this reason: Pornography is looking for you. You don’t even have to think, „Oh, I might struggle with this.” Pornography is looking for you. There’s all this research that the porn industry is engaging in marketing , and in paying all kinds of things to attract people that aren’t currently looking at it. They’re spending millions and billions of dollars to get you in. And pastors that are really concerned to protect themselves and their families, and their flock from this real silent killer, need to be serious about putting some kind of accountability measures in their life, whether it’s just an accountability partner to say, „Hey, here’s where I’m struggling. Here’s some areas where you can pray with me.” Certainly, internet filters and protection on tablet devices and phones. That’s something that everybody can do, but I say that particularly for pastors since that recent statistic is so high.

Crystal Renaud – Women and sex addiction – a story of grace

Crystal, who was exposed to pornography at the age of 10.: It’s interesting how a magazine one day, can take you places you never wanted to go.

Click here for the podcast:

Screen Shot 2013-08-29 at 4.11.41 PM

From http://www.ragamuffinreflections.com

Episode #26 of the Undone Redone podcast features an interview with author and speaker Crystal Renaud who shares her 8 year battle with pornography and sex addiction and the unique shame that women who struggle in this area experience. Crystal is the Founder and Director of Whole Women’s Ministries and the author of Dirty Girls Come Clean, her story of dealing with and overcoming sex addiction as a female. Crystal launched Dirty Girls Ministries in 2009 out of her own journey of becoming whole after an 8-year battle with pornography and sexual addiction.

Crystal’s ministry is hosting an online conference for women called Whole Women’s Conference being held September 7th for North America and September 14th for the International conference. To register, go to www.dirtygirlsministries.com/whole/.  For more information – http://crystalrenaud.com/
Related articles

De Ziua Tatalui 2013 – Poezii, cantari

Mirela Ursulescu – Departe sunt de casa

De ziua ta tata

Doresc de ziua ta ca sa-ti urez
Multi Ani! pe calea vietii cu Isus
Fi tot inflacarat si plin de crez
Pastrandu-ti legamantul de botez
Caci rasplatirea-i pregatita sus

Decand Isus pe nume te-a chemat
Si te-trimis in vie lucrator
Prin cate prigoniri ai indurat
Si-n orice val ce luntrea-a inundat
El ti-a venit tot timpu-n ajutor

Si-n clipe grele cand ai fost trantit
Cand toti te-au parasit si te-au tradat
Cand inima si duhul s-au mahnit
Atunci Isus din ceruri ti-a zambit
Si-ai biruit din nou un Goliat

Trecand atatea piedici ce s-au pus
Traind atatea clipe de durere
Dar si de bucurie in Isus
Prin greu si bine Domnul te-a condus
Cand ai fost slab ti-a dat din nou putere

Deci mergi ‘nainte nu privi ‘napoi
Spre-acei ce „lucra” fara de folos
Se cred bogati dar sant sarmani si goi
Satan i-a cucerit fara razboi
Tu stai sub mana tare-a lui Hristos

Si nu uita sa nu descurajezi
Chiar daca inca-un an te-a’mbatranit
La voia lui mereu sa meditezi
Caci va veni o zi cand ai sa-L vezi
Pe-Acel ce rasplateste negresit

As vrea sa fi de-a pururea bogat
Desi n-ai faima, avutii sau bani
Isus cu-atatea daruri te-a’nzestrat
Pe culmi ceresti prin har te-a ridicat
Fi binecuvantat! si La Multi Ani!

O Tatal meu!

AGI GLIGA ŞI ISAINCU BAND – TATĂL MEU

Dintre multele dorinţe, mai mult ca orice,
Voia Ta o doresc, şi-n ea să trăiesc;
Doar atunci voi putea fi împlinit,
O, Tatăl meu…
Şi-aş mai vrea, Doamne Tată, cu viaţa mea
Să sfinţesc al Tău nume în inima mea
Doar aşa voi putea fi fericit,
O, Tatăl meu…
Ştiu că de-ar fi vreme bună sau rea
 Voi lua, Doamne Tată, pâinea din mâna Ta
Şi cu multumire o voi mânca,
O, Domnul meu…
Te mai rog, Doamne Tată, să ierţi vina mea
Şi să-mi dai şi putere să pot ierta
Ispitit când sunt, nu mă lăsa,
O, Tatăl meu…
Toată slava, toată cinstea Ţi se cuvin
Îţi aduc mulţumire şi mă închinTatăl meu, Tatăl meu…

father with baby,father son,fathers day

INSTINCT PATERN (via) Dan Rodica

Am si eu o varsta, si am ajuns sa stiu multe lucruri . Dar e ceva ce nu stiu . Nu stiu cum e sa fii tata . Nu stiu cum e sa ai , sa zicem 30 de ani si sa-ti nasca sotia un copil , primul copil ( de preferinta baiat) . Nu stiu cum e sa-l tii pentru prima data in brate , sa te uiti la el si sa poti spune ca este al tau , ca este parte din tine . Nu stiu cum e ! Nu stiu cum e sa te scoli in fiecare noapte pentru ca micutul tau nu stie sa faca altceva decat sa planga . Si ce stie sa faca face bine , asa ca noptile care altadata erau linistite devin dintrodata extrem de agitate . Nu stiu cum e sa-ti spuna cineva “tata” . Nu stiu cum e sa hranesti un copil , sa imbraci un copil , sa educi un copil , sa ingrijesti un copil, sa disciplinezi si nici sa ierti un copil . Nimic din toate astea nu stiu cum sunt. Nu stiu cum este sa-ti duci copilul in prima lui zi de scoala , sa-l saruti pe obraz si sa-i spui ca-l iubesti . Pot doar sa-mi imaginez cum e sa te joci cu el , sa te plimbi cu bicicleta sau sa-l inveti cum se face un foc, de exemplu . Nu stiu ce sfat a-si fi in stare sa-i dau daca cumva mi-ar cere parerea in vreo problema pe care o au toti adolescenti . Nu stiu cum a-si reactiona cand mi-ar spune ca s-a indragostit . Poate l-as sfatui sa astepte pana termina facultatea . Nu stiu cum e sa fii invitat la nunta fiului tau; nu stiu cum e sa fii socru mare . Sa intri in camera in care a crescut si sa-ti dai seama ca de-acum va fi goala , pur si simplu depaseste puterea mea de imaginatie . N-am idee cum e sa devii bunic , cum e sa vezi ca fiul tau a devenit om responsabil, si asta iti arata ca , cel putin in parte, ti-ai facut datoria de parinte. Nu stiu cum e sa treaca timpul peste tine si sa-ti dai seama ca te asteapta o alta lume , un loc de odihna pentru toata truda de care ai avut parte in viata . Nu stiu cum e sa-ti chemi copilul – acum el insusi tata – si sa-i dai binecuvantarea ta , stiind ca e ultimul lucru pe care il poti face pentru el . Nu stiu cum e sa faci toate astea , dar sper ca lacrimile care mi-au curs pe obraz in timp ce ma gandeam la toate aceste lucruri, sa-L convinga pe Tatal Ceresc Sa-mi ofere harul de-a trai personal binecuvantarea de-a fi tata.

Tata iubit Te adoram

father and son

http://barzilaiendan.wordpress.com/2012/06/16/de-ziua-tatalui/

DOR DE TATA

Cind sunt copii nostri mici
Noi pentru ei suntem TATICI
Ce gingas e, si suna bine
TATICULE, mi-e dor de tine

Dar anii trec si deodata
Nu mai esti TATIC, acum esti TATA
Dar si asa tot suna bine
TATA, …imi este dor de tine

Dar cresc, nu le mai esti pe plac
Din TATA, tu devii BABAC
Si vorba suna trist si gol
BABACULE, …mai da-mi un pol

Dar viata e un foc de paie
Si vrei nu vrei, ajungi TATAIE
Iar vorba ta, in ras e luata
TATAIE,… ia mai las-o balta…

Si-n anii care-ti mai raman
Te vor numii doar AL BATRAN
Si vorba lor te nauceste
BATRANE,… ce-ti mai trebuieste ?
Copile, tu sa ai stiinta

Am fost un tata cu credinta
Si din putin, de-a fost sa fie
Eu am rabdat, si ti-am dat tie
Dar fa-mi, te rog, o bucurie
La cimitir, de vii la mine
Sa-mi zici ca in copilarie
TATICULE, mi-e dor de tine….

si dintr-un comentariu la acelasi articol:

Nelu says:
June 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm
3 generations of fathers

ELEGIE PENTRU PARINȚI

Privesc spre casa-n care m-am născut.
Ce amintiri trezește panorama !…
Încerc să retrăiesc tot ce-am avut
Copil fiind la tata și la mama.

Tabloul este încă viu și în mișcare,
Mai veche și mai roasă-mi pare rama.
Dar ce contează-n dulcea-mi evocare
Când eu vorbesc de tata și de mama !

Ma văd suit cu-amicii-n vârf de deal
Prin “coturi” rătăcind, (pe vale) nu luam seama !
Dar seara când sosea trăiam iar ideal :
Eram acasa cu tata și cu mama !

E-o muzicalitate-acolo ce-o ador
Întrepătrund acordurile, chiar și gama…
Ah, timpurile ce-au trecut…Și azi mi-e dor
De când cântam cu tata și cu mama !

În casa mea sărăcăcioasă de la țară
Era un “Foc aprins”. Și-acum mă ține Flama !
Mă mistuie-n străfunduri, dă pe-afară…
Era aprins de tata și de mama !

Pe casa-n care m-am născut și am pruncit
Atât a mai rămas, doar monograma…
Dar amintirile de-atunci m-au răscolit,
Că-s amintiri cu tata și cu mama !

Îmbătrânim. Și gândurile, ca săgeți, ne ard.
Cu-atât rămânem și mă umple teama
Că vine-o zi când singur lângă-un gard
Voi plânge după tata…după mama !

Dar va veni o altă Glorioasă Zi
Când Domnu-Și va deschide Vama.
Atunci să nu mă mai căutați pentru că voi fi
Acolo sus, Acasă, cu tata și cu mama !

Nelu Aliman
27.dec.2010

Husbands, love your wives

Excerpt from the message – John MacArthur:

(See entire message here gty.org/resources/sermons/80-383)

People in marriages attack each other because of their own sinfulness, their own fallenness and because there’s conflict as we read in Genesis between the man and the woman as they vie for power in the union. So immediately upon the Fall, marriage is under assault from the outside by Satan and from the inside by the conflict that rises in the hearts of the two people that make up that union.

……

MacArthur states that in order for a marriage to work, it has: To be „monitored by and empowered by the Holy Spirit”. 

“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her so that He might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless. “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church because we are members of His body.” A very lengthy and very detailed set of instructions for the husband.

The husband’s command is very clear. It’s a single command. Husbands, love your wives. Love your wives. That is the command. There is no command to take authority over your wife. That’s not the command. That is not the command. Is the husband the head? Absolutely he’s the head. We saw that, didn’t we, in 1 Corinthians 11, the husband is the head of the wife, Christ is the head of the man, God is the head of Christ. But the command is not to take authority. It doesn’t say a word about that. It doesn’t say take authority. It doesn’t say rule over your wife. It doesn’t say order her around. It doesn’t say command her. It doesn’t say subjugate her, subject her. It doesn’t say dominate her. It says love your wives…love your wives. And the word for love is from the verb agapao which is the most intense, most divine, most magnanimous, most sacrificial, most humble kind of love. It’s the love of the will. There are other words for love in the Greek language. There’s the word eros(? from which you get erotic, that’s a sexual kind of love. There’s the word phileo, the verb phileo which is the word that is in the word Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, it means that, that kind of a normal, human affection. There is even a word for family love and that word is used when the Apostle Paul writes to Timothy and says that people in the society, the worldly society have lost their natural affection. That is their family love. So there are words for family love, and erotic love, and brotherly love. But this is the word for the love of the will. This is the word that is the most magnanimous, the most far-reaching, and the most intentional. This is…this is a word for love that is not defined by the solicitation of the one loved. This is the love of the will. This is loving because it is right to love, loving because you will to love. It doesn’t mean the person is not attractive, but this word is defined as a word that expresses one’s intentionality.

This is how we are to love because we determine to love, because we will to love. This is, of course, defined for us as the kind of love the Lord has for His church. He does not love us because we are lovable. He did not save us because we were lovable. He didn’t save you and not somebody else down the street from you because you were more lovable than the person down the street. You might have picked your life partner because that person was more lovable in your judgment than the other people you knew. That is not how God chose you. He predetermined by His own will to set His love on you and to then spend His love relentlessly on you forever and ever and ever. And it is that kind of love that a husband is to set upon the woman that he takes as his wife.

It is the manner of our love. Let’s start with that word “manner,” we’ll break it down into several parts. This love, the manner of this love, “as Christ loved the church” and you can go all the way back and say, Romans 5:8, “He loved us when we were enemies, when we were alienated, when we were unlovable and unlovely and unloving and before we loved Him. We only love Him because He first loved us. That’s what we’re talking about. You set your love by your will because it’s right and it’s noble, and it’s the way Christ set His love on us. That’s the manner of it.

 

The Willful Submission of a Christian Wife

Excerpts from – see entire message here http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/80-382

John MacArthur:

In other words, if you reverence Christ, if you are in awe of Christ, if you desire to honor and please Him, then be a submissive person…a submissive person. As general characteristic, we are to be submissive. Spirit-filled people are submissive. That is to say, they are not dominating, they are not proud, they are not self-willed. They do not live by their own agenda which is, of course, the way people in our culture and our society today live. We have sown the seeds of a self-esteem psychology and we have reaped a harvest of pride, overwhelming pride, personal pride, self-glorification, self-will, domination of the environment by one’s own person and plans. But Spirit-filled people are submissive by the work of the Holy Spirit.

The word here for “subject,” or “submit” is hupotasso, it’s a Greek verb, hupotasso, it’s compounded. It means…tasso means to arrange, to place in order, and hupo is under. It’s a military term, it means to place yourself under, to rank yourself under. That’s what it means in the military sense. It is to rank yourself under those in authority over you, under those who have responsibility for you, to be under someone. As a general principle as Christians, we are to live lives of submission. This is so clearly the general principle of Christian living that it is referred to many times in particular in the New Testament. But perhaps as clear a section as there is Philippians 2. In Philippians 2 we read in verse 1, we’ll just pick it up at verse 1, “If there’s any encouragement in Christ, any consolation of love, any fellowship of the Spirit, any affection and compassion—talking about mutually among believers—make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, loving everybody the same, thinking the same things, united in Spirit, intent on one purpose.”

How in the world can you do that? How can you get along so completely with others? “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interest of others.” That is the soul of submission. It is humility. It is being unselfish, having no conceit but with humility of mind, considering others as more important than yourselves. Not looking out for your own interests, but the interests of others. That is a spiritual grace that is produced by the Holy Spirit. If there is any fellowship of the Spirit, any real fellowship of the Spirit, this then will appear. And—by the way—the greatest illustration of this is Christ Himself. You are to have this attitude of humble submission in yourselves, verse 5, which was also in Christ Jesus who although He existed in the form of God didn’t regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, held onto, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a slave and being made in the likeness of man, found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross.”

This is what it means to be submissive, to be humble, to look not on your own things but the things of others. That broad command is also repeated in 1 Corinthians 16:16, “You also be in subjection to such men and to everyone who helps in the work and labors.”

How do I know she’s the one? by Michael Lawrence

In honor of International Woman’s day today, I thought I’d repost this article:

A Biblical perspective from boundless.org (2010)

„How do I know if she’s the one?”

I can’t think of a question I encounter more often among single Christian men. The point of the question is clear enough. But a rich irony dwells beneath the question. In a culture that allows us to choose the person we’re going to marry, no one wants to make the wrong choice. Especially if, as Christians, we understand that the choice we make is a choice for life.

The question is not merely ironic. If what you’re after is a marriage that will glorify God and produce real joy for you and your bride, it’s also the wrong question. That’s because the unstated goal of the question is „How do I know if she’s the one … for me.”

The question frames the entire decision-making process in fundamentally self-oriented — if not downright selfish — terms. And it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or not she meets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet. In this scenario you remain unexamined, unquestioned, and unassailable — sovereign in your tastes and preferences and judgments.

The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry a sinner, but you are a sinner as well.

From a consumeristic perspective, no woman on this planet is ever going to perfectly meet your specifications. What’s more, your unexamined requirements for a spouse are inevitably twisted by your own sinful nature. The Bible reminds us that though our marriages are to be pictures of the gospel relationship between Christ and the church, none of us get to marry Jesus. Instead, like Hosea, we all marry Gomer; that is to say, we all marry another sinner, whom God intends to use to refine and grow our faith in Jesus.

So what’s a guy to do?

Ask the right questions

To begin with, start with a different question. Instead of asking if she’s the one, you should ask yourself, „Am I the sort of man a godly woman would want to marry?” If you’re not, then you’d be better off spending less time evaluating the women around you, and more time developing the character of a disciple. Start by considering the characteristics of an elder that Paul lays out in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and work toward those.

Then you should ask another question: „What sort of qualities should I be looking for in a wife so that my marriage will be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church?” If you’re not sure what those characteristics are, then spend some time reading Proverbs 31, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:22-33.

Once you’ve asked the right questions, and once you’ve found someone you suspect fits the biblical description of a godly wife, you now need to decide whether to get married. And men, though this is a big decision, it’s not a decision that should take too long. How long is too long for a dating relationship? The Bible doesn’t provide a timetable (after all, most marriages were arranged during Biblical times). But it does provide principles that point us in the direction of making a decision to marry or break up in the shortest appropriate time.

Think like a servant, not a consumer

In 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Paul warns the Thessalonian Christians against „taking advantage” of their brothers or sisters. The larger context in the first eight verses makes clear that what Paul primarily has in view is sexual immorality, in which you take from one another a physical intimacy not rightfully yours.

But the text also suggests that there are other ways you can take advantage of one another in a dating relationship. And one of the primary ways men do this is to elicit and enjoy all the benefits of unending companionship and emotional intimacy with their girlfriends without ever committing to the covenant relationship of marriage.

Too often in dating relationships we think and act like consumers rather than servants. And not very good consumers at that. After all, no one would ever go down to his local car dealership, take a car out for an extended test drive, park it in his garage, drive it back and forth to work for several weeks, maybe take it on vacation, having put lots of miles on it, and then take it back to the dealer and say, „I’m just not ready to buy a new car.”

But so often, that’s exactly the way men treat the women they’re dating. Endlessly „test driving” the relationship, without any real regard for the spiritual and emotional wear and tear they’re putting her through, all the while keeping their eyes out for a better model.

The Scriptures are clear. We are not to take advantage of one another in this way. Instead, as Paul says in Romans 13:10, „Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

Remember that love is never easy

One of the myths out there is that if you just spend enough time searching, if you can just gather enough information, you’ll find a woman with whom marriage will be „easy.” The fact is, such a woman doesn’t exist, and if she did, she likely wouldn’t marry you. And that means that you don’t need as much information as you think you do.

No matter how long you’ve dated, everyone marries a stranger. That’s because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you’re trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it’s only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren’t easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?

Men, the point of marriage is that we learn to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, as Revelation 21 and Ephesians 5 tell us, one day, Christ’s bride will be perfectly beautiful, without spot or blemish, altogether lovely and loveable.

But the church is not there yet. First, Christ had to commit himself to us, even to death on a cross. This is the model we’re called to follow. It’s not an easy model, but it is worth it.

So your goal should not be to date her long enough until you’re confident marriage won’t be hard, but to date her just long enough to discern if you’re willing to love her sacrificially, and if she’s willing to respond to that kind of love.

Remember that to commit does not mean to settle

Does this mean you should just „settle” for the first Christian woman who comes along? No, not at all. You should be making this decision in light of the qualities held out in Scripture for a godly wife, and you should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you.

But you also need to be aware that you live in a culture that says the ultimate good in life is to always keep your options open, and that any commitment is inevitably „settling” for less than you could have tomorrow. You must reject that kind of thinking for the worldly garbage that it is. Did Jesus Christ settle for the church? No, he loved the church, and gave his life as a ransom for her (Mark 10:45).

Marriage is fundamentally a means to glorify and serve God, not by finding someone who will meet our needs and desires, but by giving ourselves to another for their good. So if you find yourself hesitating about committing to a godly, biblically-qualified woman, then ask yourself, „Are my reasons biblical, or am I just afraid that if I commit, someone better will walk around the corner after it’s too late?” Consumers are always on the lookout for something better. Christ calls us to trust Him that in finding a wife, we have found „what is good and receive favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22).

Marry true beauty when you find it

Finally, the Scriptures call us to develop an attraction to true beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-6 describes the beautiful wife as a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, born out of her faith and hope in God, and displayed in her trusting submission to her husband. Men, is the presence of this kind of beauty the driving force for your sense of attraction to your girlfriend? Or have you made romantic attraction and „chemistry” the deciding issue?

Now don’t get me wrong. You should be physically attracted to the woman you marry. This is one of the ways marriage serves as a protection against sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:3-5). But we get in trouble, both in dating and in marriage, when we make physical beauty and „chemistry” the threshold issue in the decision to commit (or remain committed) to marriage.

Physical beauty in a fallen world is fading and transient. What’s more, the world narrowly defines beauty as the body of a teenager, and scorns the beauty of motherhood and maturity. But in which „body” is your wife going to spend most of her years with you? Personalities also change and mature, and what seems like „chemistry” when you’re 22 might feel like superficial immaturity 10 years later. Even over the course of a long courtship and engagement in the prime of your youth, physical attraction and chemistry are sure to go through ups and downs. We must resist the temptation to value the wrong kind of beauty.

No one lives in a perpetual state of „being in love.” But in marriage, our love is called to „always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere” (1 Cor. 13:7). If mere worldly, physical beauty is the main thing attracting our love, then our love will prove as ephemeral as that beauty. But if we have developed an attraction to true beauty, then we have nothing to fear. Marry a vibrant growing Christian woman, and you have Christ’s promise that he is committed to making her more and more beautiful, spiritually beautiful, with every passing day (Rom. 8:28; Phil. 1:6).

More questions to ask

How then do you decide, in a reasonable amount of time, whether or not to marry the woman you’re dating? Let me conclude with some more questions you should be asking.

  • Generally speaking, will you be able to serve God better together than apart?
  • Do you desire to fulfill the biblical role of a husband outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 with this specific woman? Do you want to love her sacrificially?
  • Does this relationship spur you on in your Christian discipleship, or does it dull and distract your interest in the Lord and his people? Are you more or less eager to study God’s word, and pray, and give yourself in service as a result of time spent together?
  • Do you think she will make a good discipler of your children?
  • What do other mature Christian friends and family members say about your relationship? Do they see a relationship that is spiritually solid and God-glorifying?

If you can’t answer the questions at all, then you may need to spend some more time getting to know each other. But if you can answer them (and others like them) either positively or negatively, then it’s time to stop test-driving the relationship and either commit to marriage or let someone else have the opportunity.

Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend
by Michael Lawrence
„How do I know if she’s the one?”I can’t think of a question I encounter more often among single Christian men. The point of the question is clear enough. But a rich irony dwells beneath the question. In a culture that allows us to choose the person we’re going to marry, no one wants to make the wrong choice. Especially if, as Christians, we understand that the choice we make is a choice for life.The question is not merely ironic. If what you’re after is a marriage that will glorify God and produce real joy for you and your bride, it’s also the wrong question. That’s because the unstated goal of the question is „How do I know if she’s the one … for me.”

The question frames the entire decision-making process in fundamentally self-oriented — if not downright selfish — terms. And it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or not she meets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet. In this scenario you remain unexamined, unquestioned, and unassailable — sovereign in your tastes and preferences and judgments.

The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry a sinner, but you are a sinner as well.

From a consumeristic perspective, no woman on this planet is ever going to perfectly meet your specifications. What’s more, your unexamined requirements for a spouse are inevitably twisted by your own sinful nature. The Bible reminds us that though our marriages are to be pictures of the gospel relationship between Christ and the church, none of us get to marry Jesus. Instead, like Hosea, we all marry Gomer; that is to say, we all marry another sinner, whom God intends to use to refine and grow our faith in Jesus.

So what’s a guy to do?

Ask the right questions

To begin with, start with a different question. Instead of asking if she’s the one, you should ask yourself, „Am I the sort of man a godly woman would want to marry?” If you’re not, then you’d be better off spending less time evaluating the women around you, and more time developing the character of a disciple. Start by considering the characteristics of an elder that Paul lays out in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and work toward those.

Then you should ask another question: „What sort of qualities should I be looking for in a wife so that my marriage will be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church?” If you’re not sure what those characteristics are, then spend some time reading Proverbs 31, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:22-33.

Once you’ve asked the right questions, and once you’ve found someone you suspect fits the biblical description of a godly wife, you now need to decide whether to get married. And men, though this is a big decision, it’s not a decision that should take too long. How long is too long for a dating relationship? The Bible doesn’t provide a timetable (after all, most marriages were arranged during Biblical times). But it does provide principles that point us in the direction of making a decision to marry or break up in the shortest appropriate time.

Think like a servant, not a consumer

In 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Paul warns the Thessalonian Christians against „taking advantage” of their brothers or sisters. The larger context in the first eight verses makes clear that what Paul primarily has in view is sexual immorality, in which you take from one another a physical intimacy not rightfully yours.

But the text also suggests that there are other ways you can take advantage of one another in a dating relationship. And one of the primary ways men do this is to elicit and enjoy all the benefits of unending companionship and emotional intimacy with their girlfriends without ever committing to the covenant relationship of marriage.

Too often in dating relationships we think and act like consumers rather than servants. And not very good consumers at that. After all, no one would ever go down to his local car dealership, take a car out for an extended test drive, park it in his garage, drive it back and forth to work for several weeks, maybe take it on vacation, having put lots of miles on it, and then take it back to the dealer and say, „I’m just not ready to buy a new car.”

But so often, that’s exactly the way men treat the women they’re dating. Endlessly „test driving” the relationship, without any real regard for the spiritual and emotional wear and tear they’re putting her through, all the while keeping their eyes out for a better model.

The Scriptures are clear. We are not to take advantage of one another in this way. Instead, as Paul says in Romans 13:10, „Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

Remember that love is never easy

One of the myths out there is that if you just spend enough time searching, if you can just gather enough information, you’ll find a woman with whom marriage will be „easy.” The fact is, such a woman doesn’t exist, and if she did, she likely wouldn’t marry you. And that means that you don’t need as much information as you think you do.

No matter how long you’ve dated, everyone marries a stranger. That’s because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you’re trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it’s only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren’t easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?

Men, the point of marriage is that we learn to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, as Revelation 21 and Ephesians 5 tell us, one day, Christ’s bride will be perfectly beautiful, without spot or blemish, altogether lovely and loveable.

But the church is not there yet. First, Christ had to commit himself to us, even to death on a cross. This is the model we’re called to follow. It’s not an easy model, but it is worth it.

So your goal should not be to date her long enough until you’re confident marriage won’t be hard, but to date her just long enough to discern if you’re willing to love her sacrificially, and if she’s willing to respond to that kind of love.

Remember that to commit does not mean to settle

Does this mean you should just „settle” for the first Christian woman who comes along? No, not at all. You should be making this decision in light of the qualities held out in Scripture for a godly wife, and you should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you.

But you also need to be aware that you live in a culture that says the ultimate good in life is to always keep your options open, and that any commitment is inevitably „settling” for less than you could have tomorrow. You must reject that kind of thinking for the worldly garbage that it is. Did Jesus Christ settle for the church? No, he loved the church, and gave his life as a ransom for her (Mark 10:45).

Marriage is fundamentally a means to glorify and serve God, not by finding someone who will meet our needs and desires, but by giving ourselves to another for their good. So if you find yourself hesitating about committing to a godly, biblically-qualified woman, then ask yourself, „Are my reasons biblical, or am I just afraid that if I commit, someone better will walk around the corner after it’s too late?” Consumers are always on the lookout for something better. Christ calls us to trust Him that in finding a wife, we have found „what is good and receive favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22).

Marry true beauty when you find it

Finally, the Scriptures call us to develop an attraction to true beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-6 describes the beautiful wife as a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, born out of her faith and hope in God, and displayed in her trusting submission to her husband. Men, is the presence of this kind of beauty the driving force for your sense of attraction to your girlfriend? Or have you made romantic attraction and „chemistry” the deciding issue?

Now don’t get me wrong. You should be physically attracted to the woman you marry. This is one of the ways marriage serves as a protection against sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:3-5). But we get in trouble, both in dating and in marriage, when we make physical beauty and „chemistry” the threshold issue in the decision to commit (or remain committed) to marriage.

Physical beauty in a fallen world is fading and transient. What’s more, the world narrowly defines beauty as the body of a teenager, and scorns the beauty of motherhood and maturity. But in which „body” is your wife going to spend most of her years with you? Personalities also change and mature, and what seems like „chemistry” when you’re 22 might feel like superficial immaturity 10 years later. Even over the course of a long courtship and engagement in the prime of your youth, physical attraction and chemistry are sure to go through ups and downs. We must resist the temptation to value the wrong kind of beauty.

No one lives in a perpetual state of „being in love.” But in marriage, our love is called to „always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere” (1 Cor. 13:7). If mere worldly, physical beauty is the main thing attracting our love, then our love will prove as ephemeral as that beauty. But if we have developed an attraction to true beauty, then we have nothing to fear. Marry a vibrant growing Christian woman, and you have Christ’s promise that he is committed to making her more and more beautiful, spiritually beautiful, with every passing day (Rom. 8:28; Phil. 1:6).

More questions to ask

How then do you decide, in a reasonable amount of time, whether or not to marry the woman you’re dating? Let me conclude with some more questions you should be asking.

  • Generally speaking, will you be able to serve God better together than apart?
  • Do you desire to fulfill the biblical role of a husband outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 with this specific woman? Do you want to love her sacrificially?
  • Does this relationship spur you on in your Christian discipleship, or does it dull and distract your interest in the Lord and his people? Are you more or less eager to study God’s word, and pray, and give yourself in service as a result of time spent together?
  • Do you think she will make a good discipler of your children?
  • What do other mature Christian friends and family members say about your relationship? Do they see a relationship that is spiritually solid and God-glorifying?

If you can’t answer the questions at all, then you may need to spend some more time getting to know each other. But if you can answer them (and others like them) either positively or negatively, then it’s time to stop test-driving the relationship and either commit to marriage or let someone else have the opportunity.

Copyright © 2006 Michael Lawrence. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. This article was published on Boundless.org on April 8, 2010.

Can Men and Women Be Just friends?

Spoiler alert: The answer is NO. Read on from Dr. Tejado W. Hanchell to find out why he believes there cannot be platonic relationships between men and women. This article is featured on Churchleaders.com (You can also read an article in the Scientific American that agrees with Dr. Hanchell’s assertion here- http://www.scientificamerican.com/article).

Dr. Tejado W. Hanchell (TWH_PhD) who currently serves as the Senior Pastor of Mount Calvary Holy Church of Winston-Salem, NC (“The Church Committed to do MORE”) – the “Mother Church” of the Mount Calvary Holy Church of America, Inc., where Dr. Hanchell also serves as General Secretary and International Director of Youth & Young Adult Ministry under the leadership of Archbishop Alfred A. Owens, Jr.

photo via www.brucesallan.com

Dr. Hanchell: Let me state at the outset: I do not believe in the male-female platonic relationship.

Much like Santa Claus, the Abominable Snowman and the Tooth Fairy, there is very little evidence to prove its existence. In fact, there is a mountain of evidence to the contrary.

I have seen countless “friendships” ruined once one “buddy” decided to get into a serious relationship.

This is not to say that EVERY male-female relationship turns out this way. However, I believe that there are very few — if any — truly platonic male-female relationships.

Before you jump down my throat and tell me how much of an idiot I am (which I encourage you to do in the comments section), let’s get an understanding of what the word platonic really means. Platonic traces its etymology to the doctrines of Greek philosopher, Plato. In regards to relationships, it means a relationship that is “purely spiritual” and/or “free from sensual desire.”

Now, this is where the proponents of the existence of the platonic relationship say, “Well, I’m not attracted to him/her IN THAT WAY.” The need to qualify the statement, disqualifies the argument.

Also, notice that the presence of physical attraction is not the only thing that nullifies the platonic relationship. In order for a relationship to be considered truly platonic, it must be “purely spiritual.” I don’t know about you, but there are very few, if any, relationships in my entire life that have been purely spiritual.

I know some who have used the guise of spirituality to get close to someone of the opposite sex. That’s how so many late night “prayer meetings” have turned into all night “touching and agreeing”!

Or, how many times have you talked to a married couple who says, “We were friends for years before we started dating”? Did the desire to be “more than friends” develop on their first date? Or, more likely, did they begin to have feelings beyond friendship while one or both of them were still putting up the charade that we’re “just friends”?

As someone who, as a single man, always felt more comfortable having a lot of female “friends,” let me speak from my own personal experience.

I hung out with females all the time. We went to the movies, dinner, etc., and it never went beyond that with many of them. However, we often tend to define platonic relationships based upon actions, when they are really defined by feelings.

I may not have DONE anything with them, but that did not mean I did not FEEL anything for them.

On the other hand, I have no way of knowing how these women felt about me.

This, I believe, is the defining element in my argument against the existence of the male-female platonic relationship — you NEVER know how someone else truly feels. What you may consider a “friendship” may be the first step to courtship for the other person — you NEVER know.

Even if you ask, studies have shown that people will lie about their true feelings so as not to jeopardize the friendship (and any hope of it becoming more).

I’m not saying all of this to encourage you to cut all ties with all of your friends of the opposite sex. What I am saying is that we all need to carefully analyze the nature of our relationships, and be honest — especially with ourselves.

Most people who say they are PLATONIC … are really just PLAYING. Now, the male-female platonic relationship may actually exist, but just like with UFOs and the Loch Ness Monster … very few have seen it and lived to tell the tale.

Read this article in its entirety at Churchleaders.com

Read an article that also agrees aith Dr. Hanchell’s assertion here – http://www.scientificamerican.com/article

25 Years of Evangelizing My Husband. The truth is, I was the one who needed to change

woman man

Written by Revive our hearts. Source The Aquila Report Photo via ForFaithFamily on Facebook

One of the best parts of working at Revive Our Hearts is the mail we get each day. Emails like this. Enjoy!

The nest would soon be empty. As was our marriage.

We had our roles down pat. I was the aggressor, bordering on a plate thrower; he was the passive aggressor, master of the silent treatment. We pressed each other’s buttons with heartbreaking regularity.

Over the years I constructed a compelling case of “he did’s”—stories I relayed to accommodating girlfriends. Mind you, I did this strategically. Prayer groups were preferred. There I got head nods—even a prayer on my behalf. Please change him.

My own prayer life was all about change (meaning, him). Clearly, God was sympathetic to my cause. I was David in the Psalms unjustly treated by Saul. I was Joseph imprisoned for my faith. I was on my way to martyr status.

Why then, being so unjustly treated, so right, was I so miserable? And, for all my Bible verse quoting, why was my spiritual life so stagnant?

You see, my husband is not a believer . . . a fact I routinely brought before the Lord and prayer partners. During our twenty-five years of marriage, I had purchased countless books and CDs with titles such as BelovedUnbeliever. Yet, my daily prayer, Please change his heart, had gone unanswered.

Not, however, because of a lack of evangelism on my part. I left tracts on our coffee table and upped the volume on sermon CDs.

On Sunday mornings I would tear up. If only my husband was sitting next to me at church. If only he would thumb through a Bible. If only he could hear this sermon. From my balcony view, I would glare at the backs of other husbands, arms draped over their wives’ shoulders. Surely these husbands led nightly devotionals, volunteered at Vacation Bible School, and prayed before meals. If only . . .

Inevitably my mind would drift toward a vision, twenty-five years in the making. My husband and I would be called to the pulpit to share our story. I would smile through humble tears as he would credit me for my contagious Christianity. His testimony would highlight my years of faithfulness: attending Bible studies, teaching Sunday School, rising at 5 a.m. to seek the Lord. The applause would be deafening. Maybe we’d write a book. A video series perhaps.

Then reality would crash in. I sat alone in the pew. I taught Sunday School with strangers. My husband showed no sign of wanting to read anything remotely biblical or listen to anything remotely spiritual. Forget the book. My prayers were fruitless—my husband was not changing.

That’s when I approached Kate. She and her husband had been empty nesters for a while, and they seemed happy. Perhaps she could help.

Sitting at Panera one Saturday, Kate began her counsel, but not with the sympathetic support I had anticipated. When I began to share my story of marital hardship and martyr-like behavior, Kate interrupted. She had no interest in hearing my compelling case of “rightness.” Instead, Kate gave me a challenge.

Just that week she had found a website featuring a 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge. For thirty days a wife was not supposed to say anything negative about her husband. In addition, each day she was to verbally compliment her husband. And when in public, she was to seek opportunities to praise her husband for specific things. All this was to be done with complete sincerity and not a hint of manipulation.

As Kate explained the terms of the challenge, she admitted hers was not always the beatific marriage it appeared to be—that she, too, struggled with negativity. She felt God wanted her to do the challenge with me and suggested we meet weekly over the summer to encourage one another.

This conversation took place three years ago. Turns out, the 30-Day “Challenge” is a misnomer. It has been a joy—not a challenge—and my thirty days have stretched across months and now years.

You see, within a couple of weeks, my marriage was transformed. First, my husband, a longtime critic of my cooking, suddenly took up making gourmet meals for me. Then my husband, formally stingy with compliments, began to routinely greet me with, “Hi, Gorgeous.” Finally, my husband, a person who treasures automobiles, became my knight in shining armor when I dented—no, dismantled—our brand-new Toyota Camry in an accident directly related to my inept driving.

Here’s the secret. As I verbalized compliments, I began to notice what had gone unnoticed since our dating days. Namely, that my husband is a man of integrity, a hard worker, a gentleman, a comedian; that he is handsome, articulate, and humble. He is my technology expert, personal think-tank, dog trainer, interior decorator, problem-solver, confidante, and friend. And someone whose company I began to cherish.

Looking at the negative aspects of my marriage had only produced despair—twenty-five years of whining to God about my righteousness in journals that I have since destroyed. Even Christian therapy had been reinforcing my case of “he-did’s.”

The truth is, I was the one who needed to change.

So, if I ever get called to a pulpit to give a reason for my despair giving way to joy, I will take the microphone with a humble heart. After all, it was my negativity that impeded marital intimacy for all those years. No more. The joy I now feel at waking up next to this man rivals that of any newlywed.

Visit the Revive our Hearts website and learn more about the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge here.

You Forget About God, Family When Addicted to Porn

Please don’t miss the second post, below this one, titled: How Do You Counsel A Husband Who Has Revealed a Struggle with Pornography to His Wife? (Advice for pastors on an increasingly relevant topic)

via http://www.christianpost.com (photo via Facebook)

Pornography is an unspoken word in most congregations, but this powerful addiction is permeating Christian households, and is destroying marriages and parent-child relationships.

To combat the addiction to pornography, Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., created his own program, „One Million Men Porn Free,” because he wasn’t able to find resource materials that he could use to defeat the devastating effects the lure of pornography had on members of his church.

„I led our church initially through this program in March and April of 2010,” said Dennis, who leads a congregation of 9,000 members. „I met with our men for six Wednesday evening sessions, with the last session being the commitment rally. I also met with our women for one session and our parents for one session. The women’s session was called ‘What Men Wish Their Wives Knew About Pornography.’ The parents’ session was titled ‘Protecting Your Child From Sexual Brokenness.'”

Dennis hopes the „Join 1 Million Men” program will ultimately strengthen churches by helping pastors get the subject of pornography out in the open so they can work on rebuilding families and marriages.

„If the pastor is not addressing the issue, either he doesn’t feel it’s enough of a problem, or it’s too shameful to discuss in church,” said Dennis, who cites the biblical scriptures of Job 31:1, Psalm 119:37 and I Timothy 5:2 to illustrate the ways in which men should view and respect women.
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/one-million-men-porn-free-pastor-you-forget-about-god-family-when-addicted-to-porn-90771/#cc7OQ2lz48I0RgjW.99

Every pastor already faces this. Unfortunately, I fear the problem will only become more common in the future; that is marriage counseling as a result of a husband’s struggle with pornogrpahy. The work to restore trust and intimacy within a marriage deeply affected by this sinful struggle is only possible through the gospel and applied most effectively within the local church; having said that, consider six practical ways that husband can reestablish trust and intimacy with his hurting wife:

1) Be patient towards your hurting wife.Men are known to deal with something, then move on. A wife, especially one sinned against by pornography will not move on so quickly.

2) Understand the seriousness of your sin against her. Sexual sin hurts a wife more deeply than most other sins against her. A husband needs to realize that the reasons this sin stings so much is that it seems to confirm almost every doubt and insecurity most women already battle within themselves. Understanding the seriousness of this sin and the pain it causes will help cultivate patience and prevent a reoccurrence of it.

3) Look to your wife to play an important role of accountability. It is easy to seek the accountability of another man when it comes to this struggle because, we say, “only another man knows what the battle is like.” Yet, you do not have to sleep next to that man every night. You do not have to look into his eyes knowing the hurt you caused. You do not have to be as patient and gracious with your buddy through this like you must with your wife. It may need to be in the context of regular counseling for a while, but convince him his wife will be a great asset to establish his new patterns and protection from falling again.

4) Consistently and creatively romance your wife. A husband should have already been pursuing his wife romantically as a regular practice. Now, he must understand this pattern must be established to restore his marriage.

5) Affirm your physical attraction to her. It should surprise no man that when he looks at other women in lustful ways, it will communicate a sharp message to his wife that he does not find her attractive. Most men would confess that is not what drove them to pornography, but it is inescapable that this is how a wife feels because of it. Encourage the man verbally to affirm his physical attraction to his wife. Then, he must back it up with his actions.

6) Realize the battle never ends this side of eternity. The gospel is powerful to free men from this bondage and to establish new patterns in their lives, but the fences of accountability must always remain.

Dragostea scade durerea

A elderly couple walks at the yard of the Canevaro old people's home in Lima

Geneza 2:18

18 Domnul Dumnezeu a zis: ,,Nu este bine ca omul să fie singur; am să -i fac un ajutor potrivit pentru el.`

DRAGOSTEA scade durerei! UN STUDIU interesant:
Într-un studiu publicat în jurnalul Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, o echipă de cercetători a utilizat un aparat de rezonanţă magnetică functională pentru a scana creierul a 17 femei ce au primit scurte şocuri în timp ce priveau fotografii ale partenerilor de viaţă, ale unor străini sau ale unor obiecte. Femeile au fost întrebate apoi de intensitatea durerii pe care au simţit-o.

Aşa cum se aştepta Eisenberger, conducătoarea echipei ce a efectuat studiul, durerea nu s-a simţit atât de tare atunci când femeile îşi priveau partenerii de viaţă. Deşi studii anterioare au descris acest fenomen, Eisenberger şi echipa sa au putut vedea aceste efecte în faţa ochilor.

S-a constatat că durerea a scăzut în urma unei activităţi în cortexul prefrontal ventromedial, o parte a creierului asociată cu sentimentul de siguranţă şi liniştire.

Observaţia susţine că ipoteza lui Eisenberger cum că prezenţa unei persoane dragi scade durerea prin producerea unor sentimente de siguranţă, mai degrabă decât simpla stimulare a sistemului neuronal de recompensă, aşa cum este văzut în rândul cuplurilor euforice care se află într-un stadiu de început al relaţiei.

Acest efect poate fi diametral opus în cazul în care voluntarilor li se arată o imagine cu un păianjen sau cu un şarpe, intensitatea durerii fiind simţită mai puternic.

Deşi noul studiu nu a fost realizat şi pe bărbaţi, Eisenberger susţine că nu există niciun motiv pentru a se crede că efectele ar fi diferite. „Oamenii ar putea sugera că femeile sunt mai sensibile, dar aceste procese sunt la fel de critice şi în cazul bărbaţilor”, încheie cercetătoarea.

CIteste mai mult aici – http://www.descopera.ro

It’s not just a game: Assassin’s Creed

Assassin's Creed

Assassin’s Creed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Since there are so many young men (not just children)  who are intense gamers, I thought this clip mgiht be of interest to you. As of Feb. 2012, the game Assassin’s Creed has sold over 38 million copies. If you don’t see it in your young person’s possession, they may be playing it online. Read these excerpts and make the time to watch this 9 minute video, and you will see the allure of the game, incredible 3d graphics and action, a storyline to tie the action together, and you will se why the game can be so alluring. Here are a few snippets from the clip below:

It will not be shocking (although still surprising) that a video game attacks the Bible quite openly, and declares that contains lies, and that events such as creation, the parting of the red sea, the turning of water into wine by Jesus, the entire word of God – never happened, that it is a lie. It does so by calling one of the weapons used throughout the game, called a „piece of Eden”, by showing at the end that this weapon is the Bible, that is used to control people. The game implies that everything in the Bible, that we hold to be true is just a lie.

Assassin's Creed: Lineage

Assassin’s Creed: Lineage (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The game goes even further, when it shows ancient pictures of Moses holding the „piece of Eden”, and Jesus on the cross holding the „piece of Eden”. Implying thus that Moses and Jesus held to and taught lies (the Bible, or the Word of God). The game implies that Jesus deceived His followers using this weapon.

Does the Bible brainwash people? Romans 15:4 „For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” Isaiah 1:18 the Lord said, „Come, let us reason together”. A brainwashed person can’t study, reason, and learn. A brainwashed person doesn’t have the patience and comfort that the Scriptures give, and therefore they don’t have the hope that is found in Jesus Christ.

Now a real shocking part comes when one of the villains is doing physical combat with the Catholic Pope, and the game (Assassin’s Creed 1- see at about the 5th minute in this clip) portrays the pope through dialogue where the Pope’s character calls the Bible a book full of lies.

Just when you thoght it couldn’t get any worse, the game mocks the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and later on in the game the main character kills preachers and priests whom he deems are deceived by the „pieces of Eden”, i.e. the Bible.

Then here’s some dialogue from the conclusion of one of the versions:

There is no book to give you the answers, to show you the path. Choose your own way. Do not follow me, or anyone else.

Here now is the clip from the documentary:

This is a scene from the upcoming documentary, „It’s Not Just a Game”. This project is being directed by Carl Kerby Jr and will discuss how the Bible is being portrayed in the world of video games. Please visit rforh.com for more information and you can sign up for  their newsletter to get sneak peaks from this project.

It’s Not Just a Game: Assassins Creed (Pilot) from Reasons for Hope on Vimeo.

Sondaj îngrijorător arată cum pornografia strică relațiile dintre soți

Semnele Timpului raporteaza:

Concluzia majorității experților este că pornografia este o bombă cu ceas, care stă să explodeze, în cazul multor cupluri.

Într-un sondaj recent, se arată că 70% dintre bărbații cu vârste între 18 și 34 de ani recunosc că se uită la materiale pornografice cel puțin o dată pe lună, iar per total consumul de pornografie atât în rândul bărbaților, cât și în rândul femeilor devine din ce în ce mai prevalent.
Revista Cosmopolitan, blamată de multe ori pentru popularizarea sexualității în rândul tinerilor, a făcut de data aceasta un sondaj printre 68 de experți sexologi de top, despre efectele pornografiei asupra relațiilor, iar rezultatele au fost predominant negative.
Aproape 86% dintre terapeuți cred că pornografia are un impact negativ asupra relațiilor, iar 90% dintre ei au declarat că au observat în ultimii ani o creștere a numărului de probleme în cuplu cauzate de pornografie.

Citeste articolul aici – http://www.semneletimpului.ro/stirescurta/Sondaj

Masuri propuse a impiedica accesul minorilor

Comisia de cultură a Senatului a adoptat un proiect de lege privind combaterea pornografiei în rândul minorilor. Conform acestui proiect, site-urile pornografice vor fi obligate să obțină autorizare din partea Ministerului Comunicațiilor și să își taxeze suplimentar vizitatorii.

girls-at-computerDupă ce mai multe amendamente propuse de senatorul PDL Radu F. Alexandru au fost însușite de comisie, s-a decis ca site-urile care furnizează conținut pentru adulți să fie obligate să obțină o autorizație a Ministerului Comunicațiilor. În plus, site-urile nu vor putea fi accesate decât pe baza unei parole, iar furnizorii de conținut explicit vor percepe o taxă suplimentară, evidențiată pe factura de Internet.

„Am observat că minorii au o mare dexteritate în a sparge codurile şi în a intra în aşa-zisele site-uri protejate,” a explicat senatorul Florescu, referindu-se la motivul taxării suplimentare a consumatorilor de material pornografic. Astfel, „părinţii, în momentul în care primesc factura, îți pot da seama că, fără acordul lor, minorii au avut acces la materiale” pornografice.

 

Ppotrivit Mediafax, proprietarii de site-uri pornografice sunt obligați să afișeze pe pagina de acces o atenţionare cu privire la conţinut, să permită accesul persoanelor numai după o verificare prealabilă a vârstei acestora, să evidenţieze clar numărul accesărilor. Propunerea Guvernului prevede și posibilitatea ca site-urile care nu vor respecta cerințele legale să fie blocate de către Ministerul Comunicaţiilor şi Tehnologiei Informaţiilor.

citeste tot articolul aici – http://www.semneletimpului.ro/stirescurta

Postari asemanatoare

 

Emil Bartos – Tanarul Crestin – Intre Real si Virtual

La mijlocul mesajului, sotia Pastorului Emil Bartos, Tatiana (doctor pediatric) prezinta un material din perspectiva unui medic pediatru si  discuta ce influenta are ecranul asupra creierului uman si a dezvoltarii.

Impactul tehnologiei asupra vietii spirituale

bartosLumea aceasta a internetului aproape ca nu mai are secrete. Foarte putini predicatori se incumeta sa abordeze acest subiect. Cei mai multi sunt surprinsi pentru ca ritmul in care se tehnologizeaza lumea in viata noastra este mult prea rapid  ca sa ne facem teorii la timp, sa le sutinem, sa le verificam in practica. Suntem ispititi cu o noua forma de idolatrie astazi.Ma voi ocupa doar de idolul tehnologizmului in seara aceasta. Am argument pentru toate acestea si prin viata personala. 

Faptele Apostolilor 13:36 Şi David, după ce a slujit celor din (generatia) vremea lui, după planul lui Dumnezeu, a murit, a fost îngropat lîngă părinţii săi, şi a văzut putrezirea. Cam atat se spune despre David. Ce e mai important este ca a slujit generatiei lui. Am acoperire in ceea ce va spun, nu doar teoretic, ci si practic. Cred in ceea ce va spun. Sunt tata a 6 copii, am 5 nepoti. Dar, cand am atras atentia copiilor mei si tuturor tinerilor pe care i-am pastorit si i-am invatat, sa se fereasca de acest idol al tehnologizmului, unii m-au ascultat, altii nu m-au ascultat. Si copii mei, unii au avut probleme. Si problemele, sa stiti, se intind pe termen lung.

Cand o astfel de ispitire, de incercare vine si nu esti pregatit, efectele vor fi pe termen lung. Trebuie sa remarc inca odata: Neputerea noastra, nepregatirea noastra de a confrunta problema aceasta, a invaziei lumii virtuale in lumea noastra reala. (7:45) 1 Tesaloniceni 5:21-22 …cercetaţi toate lucrurile, şi păstraţi ce este bun. Feriţi-vă de orice se pare rău.

Textul de baza; 1 Tesaloniceni 5:22 Feriţi-vă de orice se pare rău.

Devii ceea ce păstrezi

Apostolul spune ca in fata ta sunt foarte multe variante: Sa-ti traiesti viata, sa studiezi, sa cunosti. Lumea internetului, lumea tehnologiei ne-a captivat si ne-a capturat pe foarte multi. Nici nu stiu ce m-as face fara iPad. Am un iPad primit, mi-e tare drag. Dar, nu-l iubesc. Ma folosesc de el, dar nu e stapanul meu. Toti avem probabil telefoane mobile. Uitati-va la tehnica folosita in biserica. Suntem invadati de tehnologie. Aproape ca nu putem concepe inchinare fara tehnologie. Predicatorii, sunt unii care nici nu ar vrea sa predice daca nu au microfon. Uitati ce impact are in lumea virtuala, la cei care ne vad sau cei care ne vor urmari mai tarziu. E clar ca suntem intr-o alta epoca a umanitatii. Aceasta epoca este numita tehno-secularism, tehno-logizm. Tot ce incepe cu tehno- pana si omul, pana nu de mult era numit homo sapien. Acum poti sa-i spui tehno sapien.

Stiti ca perspectiva tehnologiei este ca tot mai multe organe din corpul uman sa fie inlocuite cu aparate artificiale? Deja medicii stiu ca anumite organe, vitale unele, pot fi inlocuite cu cele artificiale. Asta vrea sa spuna tehno umanismul… care sugereaza ca noi am intrat intr-o perioada post umana, in care omul, atat de mult este combinat cu masina, cu tehnica, incat nu mai este om natural, asa cum l-a creat Dumnezeu.

Uita-te la tine. Cat de mult depinzi de televizor, de internet, de telefonul mobil? Si inca suntem doar la inceput. Uitati-va la biserica, cat de mult depinde. Si lucrarile de evanghelizare, de misiune nici nu se mai pot concepe fara ajutorul tehnicii. Am integrat-o in tot spatiul nostru spiritual. Si le-am aceptat toate. Le-am primit toate fara filtre. Si asta este problema mea. Ne-am obisnuit atat de mult cu tehnica, incat o luam de-a gata, fara sa o mai filtram, ca si cum e  o normalitate. Intr-un sens e inevitabila. Nu vreau sa vorbesc astazi despre partea pozitivaa tehnologiei- faptul ca putem comunica la distanta, faptul ca prin tehnologia moderna se pot diagnostica mai usor anumite boli, se pot creea medicamente pentru boli, faptul ca democratia (in bunul sens al cuvantului) este tot mai accentuata si cunoscuta in tari care niciodata n-au cunoscut democratia.

1. Lumea  reala

Deci, beneficiile sunt foarte mari. Suntem scufundati in tehnica. Problema mea este efectele negative si apoi solutiile pe care le avem din perspectiva spirituala. Pana nu de mult noi am stiut ca exista doua lumi: Lumea aceasta reala, in special dominata de senzorial, de emotional. Adica, lumea de zi cu zi, in care daca dorea-i sa comunici cu cineva trebuia sa te duci la el, sa-l vezi ochi in ochi. Si in care daca iti dadea-i cuvantul era respectat, era lege. Si in care totul era real, fara nici o alta interventie, din alta lume. Lumea reala inseamna ca azi e Sambata, maine e Duminica, vi la inchinare… si Luni trebuie sa mergi la scoala. Lumea reala este ca ai bucurii in dragoste si dezamagiri. Lumea reala este ca trebuie sa ne platim taxele. Asta e lumea reala in care traim si nu putem fara ea. In aceasta lume am fost pusi de Dumnezeu, Creatorul nostru.

2. Lumea spirituala

Dar, mai exista o alta lume, lumea spirituala, de care stim putin. Totusi, prin harul lui Dumnezeu, El s-a descoperit pe Sine si ne-a dat cateva semne ale transcendentei, adica semne ale divinitatii intre noi. Stim putin despre aceasta. In Biblie citim despre lumea ingerilor. In lumea noastra materiala, pe langa spirit avem si trup. Dar, cand moare trupul, spiritul se intoarce la Dumnezeu in lumea spirituala, ca de acolo venim. Toti am fost creati de Dumnezeu. Dumnezeu s-a investit in fiecare dintre noi.  De aceea esti unic in ochii lui Dumnezeu. (18:30) Pana acum credeam ca exista o lume reala si o lume spirituala si din cand in cand lumea spirituala ne viziteaza. Dumnezeu ne-a vizitat in cel mai frumos mod cand Si-a trimis Fiul Sau sa se intrupeze. El, Dumnezeu si-a asumat natura noastra umana. E posibil sa fie mult mai multe vizite, dar noi nu le vedem.

3. Nou: A aparut lumea virtuala

Dar, s-a intamplat ceva. In aceste doua mii de ani in care am vazut ca sa trait clar intre lumea reala si lumea spirituala, a aparut a treia lume: Lumea virtuala. Cuvantul virtual inseamna ireal. Lumea ireala, virtuala este creata de tehnica. Aceasta lume virtuala e ceva nou. Ea nu a fost conceputa de Dumnezeu. Noi am creat-o si n-am fost intru totul pregatiti pentru ea. De aceea, lumea aceasta virtuala face victime. Daca nu stim sa o stapanim ne va stapani ea. Cei ce citesc pe internet citesc cu adevarat. Dar se inseala. Toata structura fiintei noastre, si trupesti si spirituale nu a fost conceputa de Dumnezeu pentru a trai in lumea virtuala. Ne putem folosi de lumea virtuala, dar nu este mediul in care noi existam autentic.

Stiti ca cei mai multi tineri, cand acceseaza lumea internetului nu cauta saituri pornografice, cum se credea? E pe locul doi pornografia. Pe locul intai sunt jocurile. Iti umpli vremea sa te joci. E clar, traim alte vremuri. Dar, oare am fost noi structurati pentru astfel de lume?

4 domenii in care aceasta tehnologizare a patruns foarte mult

1. Domeniul etic si moral.

Etic inseamna comportament. In lumea virtuala nu exista reguli etice si morale decat putine si nu le respecta toti. Tocmai aici este secretul de atractie acestei lumi pentru ca in lumea virtuala faci ce nu poti face in lumea reala. Te dai, iti iei un nume. Poti sa inventezi tot felul de lucruri care nu exista in lumea reala. Te hranesti cu iluzii. Iti dai un nume care sa nu poata fi depistat de nimeni. Tocmai asta este ispita. Sa intri intr-o lume fara reguli de comportament, fara reguli morale, ca si cum ce faci in lumea aceea nu se socoteste nici de Dumnezeu, nici de semeni. Oare? Oare? 

Cercetarile arata ca tinerii (in special) si-au schimbat comportamentul, modul in care se raporteaza, mai ales la oameni, la semeni, chiar si la sinele lor. Se numeste in limbaj psihologic- sinele fragmentat- in care se crede ca daca tu esti liber in lumea aceasta esti fericit. Nu e adevarat. E o pacaleala. Toate statisticile arata ca te instrainezi tot mai mult. Faci lucruri care in lumea reala nu le poti face. E o iluzie. (34:00)

Pornografia – In domeniul acesta al eticii si moralitatii multi si-au pierdut sufletul, inocenta, curatia, datorita dependentei, in special de pornografie. Vizualul te atrage. E foarte usor, intr-un singur click intri intr-o alta lume. De fapt, poti deschide foarte multe lumi noi. Si din curiozitate la inceput si din naivitate intri in lumi extrem de periculoase, pentru ca imaginile pe care le vezi iti afecteaza sufletul si trupul. Nu e adevarat ca lumea aceasta nu are de a face cu lumea reala, ca si cum, cand inchizi computerul te cuplezi imediat la lumea reala. Nu e adevarat. Iti trebuie minute intregi ca sa iti revii in lumea reala. Si unii, stiti ca nu vor sa mai revina in lumea reala. De aceea stau ore intregi in fiecare zi pe internet, ca o evadare.Isi permit lucruri acolo, de imoralitate, care evident nu si le pot permite in lumea reala. Aici intra toate chaturile, jocurile.

Etapele caderii – Jocurile ca jocurile, dar, pornografia este cumplita. Cine este robul acestei lumi pornografice in lumea virtuala are parte de etape ale caderii. Va dau patru pasi a caderii in lumea aceasta a pornografiei:

  1. Pasul tolerantei – in care iti permiti intii doar sa privesti, cica sa admiri, sa-ti cultivi frumosul. Sa iti implinesti spiritul acesta de curiozitate. Si esti tolerant cu tine tot mai mult. Si-ti permiti ca sa treci de la poze la filme. Dupa aceea largesti spectrul. Acum esti tolerant ci cu cei care sunt patimasi ca si tine. Tinerii si copii inocenti sunt atrasi in aceasta pornografie de colegi, de prieteni. Nu e nici o garantie ca esti nascut in familie de credinciosi, ca ai o educatie buna, ispita oate veni oricand. 
  2. Sevrajul – inseamna retragere. Dai semne de oboseala, de insomnie, faci cheltuieli nejustificate ca sa iti mentii pofta. Negi existenta vreunei probleme. Te feresti de limbaj, de lumea aceasta. Nu iti place. Dar, de fapt este o stare de duplicitate.
  3. Dependenta – inseamna ca nu mai ai putere sa te abtii si poate zilnic accesezi siturile murdare. N-ai vrea, dar esti deja dependent.
  4. Sacrificiile colaterale – Pentru ca sa iti mentii pofta aceasta trebuie sa renunti la alte ocupatii, ca sa ai timp de internet, ca iti cere tot mai mult sa satisfaci imaginatia si pulsiunile sexuale.

Stiti care-s consecintele? Consecintele nu sunt doar la nivelul trupului, ca trupul se hraneste din iluzii. Niciodata femeile acelea, sau barbatii aceia- sunt iluzii. Consecintele sunt mult mai multe, imprastiate pe toate zonele vietii tale.

  1. Distrugerea fizica – in care dormi mai greu, in care iti neglijezi anumite responsabilitati, in care ai disfunctii sexuale tot mai amenintatoare si sa sti ca te va afecta si in viitoarele tale relatii cu prieten, prietenul in vederea casatoriei. 
  2. Asocierile periculoase – Cand intri in aceasta lume a pornografiei, sa sti ca nu vei fi doar cu ea. Te vei intersecta si cu alte lumi. Unii se intersecteaza cu alcoolul, sau cu drogurile, sau cu depresiile tot mai frecvente.
  3. Comportamentul obsesiv – Unii trec in aceasta faza a violentei chiar, ca sa poata sa se satisfaca imaginar.
  4. Gandirea paranoica – Tot timpul ti-e frica ca vei fi descoperit. Traiesti cu frica. Ceea ce iti promitea ‘fericire’, de fapt, ti-a dat frica in final.
  5. Distrugerea vietii spirituale – in care duhul tau este mereu tulburat. Esti plin de fantezii, nu mai scapi de ele. Am stat de vorba cu tineri, care-mi spun ca chiar si in timpul inchinarii, datorita faptului ca ei erau obsedati de pornografie, chiar si in biserica aveau fantezii si nu se puteau abtine. Asta este o stare avansata si grava.  Moralitatea ta sufera, imaginatia ta sufera, relatiile tale sufera. (48:03)

2. Domeniul epistemologic 

Domeniul cunoasterii adevarului – Cand te uiti la ecran, mai ales cand vezi imagini miscatoare, tu nu ai timp, datorita succesiuni rapida a imaginilor, pentru ca in fiecare secunda ai 23 de poze care sunt in miscare. Tu nu ai timp in secundele acelea, in minutele acelea… dupa 2 sau 5 minute, tu nu mai gandesti de fapt. Tu nu mai sti  ca te uiti la ceva adevarat sau nu. Cel care iti da tie imaginile, in lumea asta virtuala, iti controleaza practic gandirea. Asta este o problema foarte mare.

3. Domeniul educational

Tatiana Bartos prezentare 

TV

La minutul 50, Tatiana Bartos prezinta informatii legate de partea aceasta- cum afecteaza gandirea noastra.

  • Expunerea indelungata si sistematica (deci ore intregi si in mod repetat zilnic) la televizor, sau jocurile pe calculator si al internetului modifica structural (adica felul in care este alcatuit si functional (adica felul in care functioneaza creerul nostru). Si nu doar atat, ci televizorul creeaza o adevarata dependenta care este similara celorlalte dependente, de alcool, de droguri sau de tutun. 
  • Activitatea creerului, atunci cand ne asezam in fata ecranului este complet diferita de cea intalnita in alte activitati ale noastre. Neuropsihologii, adica cei care studiaza felul in care functioneaza mintea noastra au ajuns la concluzia ca acei copii care din primii ani din viata au petrecut o vreme semnificativa tin timp in fata ecranului risca sa aibe un creier diferit dezvoltat, decat cei din generatiile anterioare care au crescut fara televizor. Iar deficientele incep sa apara destul de tarziu, sa fie vizibile abia prin clasa III-a.
  • Vizionarea televizorului altereaza capacitatile cognitive ale persoanei umane. Nu numai procesul invatarii este dezavantajat, ci si gandirea logica si analitica, discursivitatea, capacitatea de exprimare a ideilor, creativitatea si chiar dezvoltarea intelligentei.
  • Cele mai grave consecinte sunt asupra partii din fata a creierului, care se numeste cortex prefrontal. Acesta il deosebeste pe om de animal pentru ca in aceasta zona se orgamizeaza gandirea, invatarea, motivatia, atentia, controlul emotional, citirea, rezolvarea problemelor.
  • Expunerea prelungita si repetata la televizor si jocuri pe calculator franeaza dezvoltarea acestei parti a creierului cu afectarea capacitatii de concentrare, cu afectare atentiei, si cu favorizarea comportamentelor  instinctuale: agresivitatea, bulimia si pulsiunile sexuale. Aceasta zona a creierului se dezvolta complet doar in adolescenta tarzie, chiar la maturitate. Din aceasta cauza este extrem de sensibil la experienta televizionarii.  De aceea, Academia Americana de Pediatrie recomanda ca pana la varsta de doi ani, iar unii medici spun ca pana la varsta de 5 ani copiii sa nu fie lasati sa se uite la televizor, sau la calculator. Iar in perioada scolara, vizionarea televizorului sa fie limitata la 1-2 ore pe zi. Asta impreuna cu calculatorul.

Creierul nostru, ca si inima, ca si muschii, are activitate electrica, poate inregistra grafic. Are doua ritmuri principale, ritmul Alpha, care caracterizeaza starea de pasivitate, de relaxare si ritmul Beta, care caracterizeaza starea de activitate a creierului. S-a constatat ca indiferent de continutul programului de televiziune urmarit, creierul functioneaza, reactioneaza la fel.  In doua minute, aceasta activitate a creierului se modifica, trecand de la ritmul Beta, care e specific starii de veghe, de gandire, de analiza, de decizie, trece la ritmul Alpha- pasiv, de relaxare, Creierul nostru este alcatuit din doua jumatati- emisfera dreapta si emisfera stanga, fiecare cu functii specifice. Ca sa gandim bine, ca organizmul nostru sa functioneze bine, avem nevoie ca ambele jumatati ale creierului sa fie active; ambele sa comunice intre ele.

Emisfera stanga a creierului defineste, clasifica, descrie, lucreaza cu notiuni abstracte, cu simboluri, analizeaza situatiile si lucrurile plecand de la fiecare detaliu in parte. Gandeste in pasi logici, secvential, organizeaza lucrurile in timp, trage concluzii pe baza unor date si fapte logice, leaga ideile unele de altele si intelege relatia cauza efect.

Emisfera dreapta a creierului gandeste nonverbal, in imagini, in sunete, in emotii. Ia decizii pe baza impresiilor, a sentimentelor, a imaginilor- judecand nu liniar, ci in salturi.

Toate studiile constata aparitia unei anomalii, adica a unei anormalitati a creierului in timpul privitului la televizor. Jumatatea stanga a creierului intra in repaus, aproape ca nu mai functioneaza si lasa jumatatea dreapta a creierului sa indeplineasca toate activitatile cognitive. Si legaturile intre cele doua jumatati ale creierului asigura o functionare normala a creierului nostru sunt intrerupte. Deci, in doua minute, creierul nostru ajunge sa functioneze doar cu jumatatea dreapta.

Efectele asupra creierului si a comportamentului

kid on internet1. Avem de a face cu o scadere a capacitatii de analize si de concentrare. Partea stanga a creierului este importanta pentru organizarea, analiza si judecata datelor primite. Iar jumatatea dreapta proceseaza informatia in intregul ei, nu in detalii si determina raspunsuri mai degraba emotionale, decat rationale. Nu putem gandi rational continutul prezentat la televizor , deoarece, jumatatea stanga a creierului nostru inceteaza sa mai lucreze. Prin urmare, nu este surprinzator ca oamenii rareori inteleg ce vad la televizor si ei retin 20% din informatiile unei emisiuni informativa pe care o urmaresc.

2. Scaderea capacitatii de constientizare. Viteza foarte mare de schimbare a cadrelor, efectele tehnice in general, care bulverseaza atentia telespectatorilor, fac ca majoritatea informatiilor transmise prin televiziune sa intre direct in subconstient. Sa aiba un impact subliminal. Adica, nu sunt constientizate de loc, sau aproape de loc de telespectatori, desi ele patrund in gandirea noastra.

3. Scaderea capacitatii de invatare. Transferul activitatii creierului da pe jumatatea stanga, pe jumatatea dreapta, concomitent cu intreruperea partiala a legaturilor intre cele jumatati a creierului, conduce la un fel de anomalie. O defectiune, in care creierul se afla in starea pasiva, Alpha, de relaxare, este pus in situatia de a absorbi o cantitate uriasa de informatii.

Exista sute de studii care arata ca miscarea ochilor si gandirea sunt legate in mod direct. Actul cautarii informatiilor cu ochii, atunci cand citim, necesita si obliga in acelasi timp pe cel ce priveste sa fie alert, sa fie activ, sa nu accepte pasiv orice i se ofera. Atunci cand ochii nu se misca, ca atunci cand privim un ecran, in timpul vizionarii gandirea este diminuata.

Unii sustin ca televizorul este un mediu care favorizeaza invatarea prin cantitatea si diversitatea informatiilor diferite. Dar, de fapt, invatarea care are loc este foarte putin cognitiva. Este greu de reprodus, foarte putin analizabila si este putin bazata pe gandire. Pentru a invata cu adevarat ceva, trebuie sa interactionezi cu sursa datelor. In cazul televizorului nu gandesti cu adevarat. Informatia ajunge la tine, dar tu nu interactionezi cu sursa ei. Invatarea trebuie sa fie un proces rational si constient, care se face cu efort de intelegere. Noile cunostinte sunt depozitate in memorie, de unde pot fi scoase pentru a fi utilizate atunci cand gandim. In cazul vizionarii televizorului, cunostintele nu sunt nici percepute, nici structurate logic, nici constientizate. Televizorul are capacitatea de a-si trimite informatiile direct in subconstient, fara ca telespectatorul sa poata controla acea informatie, fara ca sa constientizeze cu adevarat ce si cum au patruns acele mesaje in memorie. Si televizorul devine astfel un mediu foarte bun de manipulare sau de modelare a comportamentului si a gandirii oamenilor. Pe acest efect subliminal, pe care informatia patrunde la  subconstient , fara a fi constientizata se bazeaza efectul publicitatii.

Cand citesc, copiii cauta imaginile din text. Urmarirea televizorului in mod prelungit si sistematic va constitui un obstacol in dezvoltarea capacitatii de lectura.  Daca vizionarea se desfasoara intensiv, inca din primii ani de viata, in perioada 2-5 ani, sau 5-14 ani, cand practic se dezvolta creierul nostru, atunci poate sa apara tabloul sintologic al ADHD (sindromul de deficit de atentie si Hiperkinezie).

4. Scaderea capacitatii de a comunica – Mediul care afecteaza felul in care se dezvolta creierul unui copil. Experienta mediului in care creste copilul joaca un rol esential in dezvoltarea structurii creierului sau. Ceea ce face copilul in fiecare zi, modul in care gandeste, felul in care comunica, ceea ce invata, stimuli care ii trag atentia, au potentialul de a modifica felul in care este alcatuit creierul. Nu numai ca schimba modul in care este folosit creierul, dar cauzeaza si modificari structurale.

SOLUTII pentru a putea preveni aceste modificari

  1. Viata disciplinata. Majoritatea specialistilor in deomeniu sustin ca nu trebuie permis ca televizorul sau calculatorul sa inlocuiasca jocurile fizice, alergatul, sau inotul. Lucrul de mana- copilul sa construiasca, sa coase, sa intreprinda ceva in general cu mainile. Sau alte activitati ce presupun folosirea ambelor- maini si picioare, ca sa utilizeze ambele jumatati ale creierului. 
  2. Disciplina spirituala. Asta inseamna educarea copilului pentru a avea grija de sufletul lui: citirea scripturii, rugaciunea, cantarea, darnicia. Sunt cateva activitati pe care copilul trebuie sa le invete de mic, ca parte a vietii lui spirituale.
  3. Relatiile lui personale. Viata de familie, contactul cu natura, lectura, frecventarea bisericii, credinta- sunt alte cai de eliberare de dependenta ecranlui.
  4. Parintii – Mama poate fi cea mai buna calauza pe care copilu o poate avea pentru a-si dezvolta mintea. Mamicilor care au copilasi de un an, 2, 3 si sunt epuizate pentru ca copilul le ocupa absolut tot timpul si isi doresc din suflet sa aibe 10 minute pentru ele, solutia se afla la indemana. Pune copilasul in fata televizorului, in fata computerului si copilul se linisteste c aprin farmec. Dar, vizionarea televizorului, inca de la varsta frageda creeaza o dependenta a copilului. Copilul il va dori din ce in ce mai mult sa urmareasca ecranul. Iar, acest lucru ii va afecta nu doar felul cum ii functioneaza creierul, ci va ramane in timp cu un grad de inteligenta mai scazuta decat i-a dat Dumnezeu sa aiba.

Vreau sa inchei cu un citat din Proverbe 4 –

Ascultaţi, fiilor, învăţătura unui tată, şi luaţi aminte, ca să pricepeţi; căci eu vă dau sfaturi bune: nu lepădaţi învăţătura mea. Căci cînd eram încă fiu la tatăl meu, şi fiu gingaş şi singur la mama mea, el mă învăţa atunci, şi-mi zicea: ,,Păstrează bine în inima ta cuvintele mele, păzeşte învăţăturile mele, şi vei trăi! Dobîndeşte înţelepciune, dobîndeşte pricepere; nu uita cuvintele gurii mele, şi nu te abate dela ele. N’o părăsi, şi ea te va păzi; iubeşte -o, şi te va ocroti! Iată începutul înţelepciunii: dobîndeşte înţelepciunea, şi cu tot ce ai, dobîndeşte priceperea. Înalţă -o, şi ea te va înălţa; ea va fi slava ta, dacă o vei îmbrăţişa. Ea îţi va pune pe cap o cunună plăcută, te va împodobi cu o strălucită cunună împărătească. (72:38)

EMIL BARTOS continua

4. Domeniul relational

 Lumea asta tehnologica a afectat foarte mult relatiile. Parintii nu pot comunica cu copii si copii nu se pot decupla. Media de stat pe internet astazi in Romania este 5-6 ore pe zi. In America 9-10 ore pe zi. Cifra creste pentru ca a fost introdus si in scoli. Aceasta este o generatie digitala. Noi avem datoria sa va avertizam, sa va pregatim. Ce aveti de gand sa faceti? Sa stati pasivi, sa nu faceti nimic? Cum o sa va cresteti copiii pe care ii veti avea?

SOLUTII

Ce avem de facut intr-o lume tehnologizata? Scopul nostru este sa ne pregatim, sa nu fim in necunostinta. Sa deosebim vremurile. Am cateva idei practice si teoretice. Motto-ul sa fie: Cercetati toate lucrurile si pastrati ce este bun. Prescurtat, asta inseamna ca devenim ceea ce pastram. Nimeni nu-ti cere sa te izolezi de lumea aceasta in care traim. Lumea virtuala ne-a cucerit, ne-a invadat. Dar, ea trebuie sa fie un slujitor al nostru. Noi sa o stapanim si noi sa ii punem limitele. Cred ca este o atitudine gresita  ca sa ignoram evolutia tehnologizmului. Atitudinea corecta este sa cunoastem si sa transformam aceasta lume tehnlogizata. Noi nu fugim, nu ne izolam, dar putem cunoaste lumea si sa o transformam. Cercetam toate si pastram ce este bun doar.

  1. Sa relocalizam tehnologia in creatie. Sa gasim locul potrivit al tehnologiei in creatia lui Dumnezeu. Daca Dumnezeu a ingaduit sa descoperim anumite legi stiintifice inseamna ca ne putem bucura de ele, dar trebuie sa le gasim locul potrivit. De aceea, asa cum am fost chemati in Geneza 1 sa fim ispravnici buni ai creatiei lui Dumnezeu, de ex.- daca tehnologia iti afecteaza trupul, spiritul, ratiunea,adevarul, trebuie sa pui limite acelei tehnologii. Daca ai primele semne ale dependentei de tehnologie, trebuie sa faci ceva imediat. Orice amanare inseamna ca vei deveni un rob foarte curand. Trebuie sa punem limite acestei tehnologii. 
  2. Regandeste-ti prioritatile- sociale cat si spirituale, cum ar fi vegherea. Domnul Isus Hristos ne indeamna: Vegheati. Fiti alerti, fiti vigilenti, tot timpul atenti. Asta inseamna ca s-ar putea, ca in iuresul acesta al tehnologizarii sa nu mai ai timp de meditatie, de partasie. Pe internet, noi intram intr-o lume mult mai periculoasa si mai ispititoare decat lumea reala, pentru ca lucreaza la nivelul imaginarului. Unii va petreceti ore intregi citind comentarii la bloguri si va hraniti cu otrava care unii o lasa acolo. Nu cred ca este corect sa ne sacrificam intimitatea partasiei cu Domnul si sa o dezvelim in vazul lumii, in virtual. De aceea, practicati mai mult solitudinea, partasia intima cu Domnul. Redescoperiti aceasta prioritate contra zgomotului lumii. Mai degraba, izolati-va in rugaciune si in partasie. Reveniti la relatiile reale, in special cu cei apropiati voua. Refuzati inlocuirea bisericii reale cu biserici virtuale. Orice inchinare necesita participarea trupului tau. Copiilor, stati mai mult cu parintii vostri, fata in fata, ca si asa ii aveti pentru scurta vreme. Reveniti la relatii normale. (90:00)
  3. Cuvantul inaintea imaginii.  Noi credem in cuvantul lui Dumnezeu si desi imaginile incep sa isi ia locul lor in inchinarea bisericii si aici trebuie sa punem limite. Cuvantul este inaintea imaginii. Am fost la biserici in alte tari unde Cuvantului i s-a dat foarte putin, 10-15 minute si restul era imagini. Cantari foarte multe cu imagini. S-au uitat la   documentare. Au transferat in biserica imaginile. Intotdeauna, in istoria bisericii ni se spune, cand imaginea a surpat cuvantul s-a nascut idolatria. Si nu suntem departe de o noua forma de idolatrie in care imaginea va fi din nou in prim plan si cuvantul va fi dat afara. Luptati pentru prioritatea Cuvantului inaintea imaginii.
  4. Aplicati disciplinele spirituale in sfera virtuala. Adica, anumite discipline pe care noi le avem in viata reala pot fi aplicate si in lumea virtuala, in anumite limite desigur. De ex. – Rugaciunea este partea vietii noastre reale. Nu cred ca exista vreo restrictie, nici teologica si nici practica,  sa folosim rugaciunea si in lumea virtuala. Cu alte cuvinte, sa rascumparam aceasta lume. Cred ca ne putem ruga unii pentru altii si folosind lumea aceasta a internetului. Dar, disciplina inseamna mai mult, inseamna abstinenta si control. V-as sugera cateva idei foarte practice:
  • Post de internet. Te abtii, si arati ca depinzi de Dumnezeu nu de mancare/internet. In perioada de post esti mai atent cu viata ta spirituala, te rogi mai mult, mijlocesti pentru altii, O zi pe saptamana sa o puneti deoparte, sa nu deschideti nici internetul, nici televizorul. Ziua aia nu deschizi nimic. Stai cu Domnul, stai cu sotul/sotia, cu familia, cu prietenii. Crezi ca poti face aceasta? Sti ce ai demonstra cu aceasta? Ca tu stapanesti aceasta lume, nu ea te stapaneste pe tine.
  • Darea de socoteala fata de mentor. Noi nu prea avem dezvoltata ideea mentoratului. Adica, tu ca si crestin trebuie sa dai socoteala din cand in cand de viata ta spirituala cuiva. Poate ca te lupti cu o ispita, cu o patima. Ai nevoie sa dai socoteala de viata ta spirituala cuiva. Cei care aveti probleme in domeniul virtual, nu stati si nu faceti nimic. Cautati un mentor- pastorii, prezbiterii bisericii, om matur pe care-l cunosti si ai incredere- du-te si spune-i problema ta. Rugati-va impreuna.  Sunt situatii foarte grave in mijlocul adunarilor noastre.

A venit la mine un tanar, cu un copil si o sotie de 30 de ani. In fiecare noapte cand pacatuia, sotia lui se culca in pat cu copilul, obosita. El ramanea noaptea tarziu si se uita la filme murdare. A inceput sa nu o mai iubeasca. Viata lui spirituala era in cadere. Si a venit la mine ca avea nevoie de ajutor. Lumea virtuala iti poate distruge relatiile cele mai dragi. Ai nevoie de ajutor. Singur s-ar putea sa nu rezisti. Asta inseamna sa dai socoteala de viata ta. L-am ajutat. Am stat impreuna, l-am mai sunat, am stat de vorba ca sa vad cum e, care e situatia cu idolul lui? Multumesc Domnului ca a scapat, s-a eliberat.

Rascumpararea lumii virtuale

Noi trebuie sa folosim aceasta lume virtuala in favoarea imparatiei lui Dumnezeu. Nu ne facem ca nu exits, nu o ignoram. Dar, de ce nu am transforma-o? De ce nu am rascumpara-o aceasta si sa o folosim pentru castigarea altora pentru Hristos?

  1. Exista tineri foarte capabili in bisericile noastre, specialisti in IT. Am putea, sub indrumare spirituala, sa strangem tinerii acestia sa formeze grupari si grupuri de evanghelizare in lumea virtuala. Sa-si foloseasca darurile, sub indrumare spirituala  si rugaciune, pentru ca sa-i castige pe tinerii care sunt pierduti pe lumea virtuala, ca nimeni nu are grija de ei. La biserica nu vin, se izoleaza tot mai mult, cine se ingrijeste de ei? Cine-i cauta? Nimeni nu o sa-i caute in lumea virtuala. Parintii acestei generatii abia se pricep la computer. De ce n-ai transforma terenul lumii virtuale intr-un camp de misiune si de evanghelizare? 
  2. Consiliere in lumea virtuala- sunt tineri care nu vor sa stie nimeni viata lor. Se ascund, evadeaza. Dar, in lumea virtuala, sub anonimat, cei mai multi sunt gata sa comunice, sa fie ajutati. Iata, ca putem cu aceste mijloace sa facem si lucrari duhovnicesti

S-ar putea sa avem un nou tip de evanghelisti, misionari si consilieri in lumea virtuala. Este Dumnezeu  atotprezent si in lumea aceasta virtuala? O, da. Noi credem ca am creat-o noi, ca e lumea noastra. Dar nu este asa. Credeti ca cel rau si demonii lucreaza in lumea virtuala? Oh, da, foarte intens. Atunci hai sa luptam, fratilor. Nu ai voie sa te uiti la aceasta lume ca inofensiva, ca una ireala. E a ta. Nu exista viata privata pentru crestin. Un crestin da socoteala de viata lui inaintea lui Dumnezeu, inaintea bisericii. de aceea si aceasta situatie trebuie dusa inaintea Domnului.

Apeleaza la puterea Duhului Sfant. Depisteaza idolii din tine, probleme alea care sunt acolo si care apartin domeniului de tehnologie. Pentru ca puterea Duhului Sfant poate sa elibereze pe om de orice fel de dependenta. Duhul lui Dumnezeu te va ajuta, daca vei fi sincer. Nu stiu ce hotarare vei lua dar datoria mea a fost sa iti atrag atentia ca ne luptam azi cu un nou idol, ca suntem in fata unui nou pericol si daca nu esti pregatit, caderea va fi pe termen lung si vei fi greu de recuperat. De aceea trebuie sa te inarmezi acum, sa iei hotarari chiar astazi pentru viata ta.

Related articles

The Lies of Lust and porn

Below the video are some verses  that tell us what the Bible has to say about pornography.

Dads, you must equip your boy or girl as to what pornography really is. They’re going to stumble over it, whether at a sleep over, or when walking by a computer at the public library. The best description of why pornography works and why it is so addictive is given by Paul. What is lust? According to Paul, lust is deceit. Pornography is a liar. You bought the lie, didn’t you. And you bought it a lot. Lust is deceitful. And deceit is the prime source of lust’s power.

eyeWhy is it that you act on your lust? Because it’s lying to you. What do you say in your brain? That little something that kicks and says, „I want that. That will feel good.” That’s a lie. Because lust is a lie. It promises you will feel good, but you don’t, do you? It is normal to have desire for one’s spouse, but, we’re talking about lust here- looking with sexual desire  and fantasies at what does not belong to you. It’s lying to you.

Now, enter this modern thing called pornography. This is like the sparkling diamond in the crown of lust. Because lust promises physical pleasure that is supposed to be so good and so powerful, but, it’s lying to you because it’s so powerful. It is a master deceiver and porn is its masterpiece. Porn is lust in its most tantalizing form. Why? Nothing is left to the imagination. Porn is the most blatant of all of lust’s lies. It is a hideous beast, it pummels its victims. Along comes porn and says, „This is going to be good.

Porn comes along to the hedonistic soul at heart, not finding satisfaction in God. Finding satisfaction is stuff- eating, drinking and being merry is the god of their world, and maybe yours too because you’re believing some of that lie that hedonism is a good goal and „it will feel good if I do it”. But Paul says: It’s a liar.

Lust promises that physical pleasure can deliver deep, unequaled and sustainable satisfaction. But, does it always deliver something else? Heart wrenching dissatisfaction, because it’s a liar. It never delivers what it promises. Pornography results with the exact opposite of its promise.

Every time you participate in pornography, it is mocking you „for stupidity”. The lie, AGAIN! You bough it again! Didn’t you learn it the last time, and the time before, and the time before that… when it lied to you, and you felt awful?

Todd Friel from his wretched radio broadcast June 17, 2011.

Psalm 119:37 – Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

Psalm 119:9-10 – How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

1 John 2:16 – For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Proverbs 7:21-27 – With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, …

Matthew 5:28 – But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 6:22-23 – “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Galatians 5:19 – Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

Habakkuk 2:15 – “Woe to him who makes his neighbors drink— you pour out your wrath and make them drunk, in order to gaze at their nakedness!

Romans 13:13 – Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 – For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.

1 Corinthians  6:18-20 – Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:9 – Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,

1 Corinthians 6:13 – Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Ephesians 2:3 – Among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

1 Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

http://www.openbible.info

Sexual Temptation – Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?

A great post over at ChurchLeaders.com written by Aaron McCarter.

Aaron McCarter shows that „Proverbs is warning us not to let lust override the commandments of God’s word„. And McCarter points out that it is no different today, than it was during Solomon’s reign when he wrote his admonitions to young men. McCarter writes:

Proverbs holds a view of romance, marriage, and sex that was counter-cultural back then, and it’s counter-cultural now. In Proverbs, the highest possible value is placed on faithfulness and friendship in marriage. I’m not entirely sure those are the leading ideas in culture at large today.

He talks about the danger of sexual temptation and recounts the devastation he has seen from „having a front row seat” to the destruction of many a marriage:

Being a pastor can be sobering at times. I’ve been given a front row seat too many times to watch the destruction that unfaithfulness brings to a marriage. It’s horrifying to watch. Usually I’m brought in to help… but I generally feel like a helpless bystander with little or nothing to offer. It’s just carnage. You’ve probably seen it yourself.

No decent human being sets out to cheat on their spouse… but it happens all of time. Why? It’s not because somebody goes out and does it. It’s far more subtle than that. The seeds of adultery are planted in the mind.

People have affairs because one day they allowed themselves to consider it. That’s all. And then, inevitably, they flirted with the idea (even if they didn’t yet even flirt with an actual person). And the momentum gathers.

“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.”

He concludes by comparing lust to fire and showing how fire can be „powerful and useful„, yet, „difficult to contain and enormously destructive„. He concludes with a pastoral warning:

Don’t see how long you can carry fire next to your chest. God intended sex, romance, and relationships to be handled in a certain way, and walking close to sexual temptation is a sure way to get burned.

 

 

 

 

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries

Blogosfera Evanghelică

Vizite unicate din Martie 6,2011

free counters

Va multumim ca ne-ati vizitat azi!


România – LIVE webcams de la orase mari