It’s International Woman’s Day Today – God created gender to be a living display of some amazing spiritual truths by Mary Kassian

The Amazing Display

Mary Kassian’s Girls Gone Wise Website February, 2011

Every girl knows that beautiful window displays draw us into the store. Right? In this week’s Smart Talk find out why your womanhood is for putting more than YOU on display.

Ever been pulled into a store by what you saw in the display window? God created gender to be a living display of some amazing spiritual truths. Long before He said “Let there be light,” He intentionally planned how He would create man, woman, and male/female relationships to give us insight into eternal things. In this week’s Smart Talk with Mary and Katie, find out why your womanhood is for putting more than you on display!

Think about these questions, write some answers in your journal, and/or discuss them with a friend.

  1. What would most people say is the reason God created two sexes?
  2. Why do you think God chose to display His power and plan through the male-female relationship?
  3. What do you think it means that God wants to relate to you as a Bridegroom to a Bride?
  4. If your womanhood has cosmic significance, then how important is it that you get it right?

Mary Kassian,  http://www.girlsgonewise.com

Read more / Watch video about God’s creation of man and woman here – David Platt – Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

Read – How do I know she’s the one here

Today was supposed to be my wedding day…

We first posted an excerpt from this story in May of 2012. We thought it was an important story, worth retelling to anyone who is the process of considering marriage.

A heartfelt journey of one young woman – read her entire story here – http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/05/26/today-was-supposed-to-be-my-wedding-day/

May 26, 2012. It was supposed to be a momentous occasion–the day I would walk down the aisle in my mother’s lace wedding gown, peonies in hand, best friend at my side, family and friends looking on with joy. It was supposed to be the day I started a new chapter, the day my dreams would be fulfilled. Little did I know, God had other plans.

We met in the winter of 2010–me and God, that is. He always had his eye on me, but I barely even knew who he was. Once I began spending time with him, our relationship blossomed into something special. He cared for me and loved me like no other. He filled a huge void in my heart.

That’s how I came to know God. It’s also how I came to know the man I thought I would marry.

The relationship started out like many others, following cultural expectations rather than God’s design. Dating, sex, spending the night, meeting the parents, integrating the pets (him, a dog; me, two cats). After 10 months, on a snowy Sunday evening in front of the place we first met, he asked me to marry him. It was romantic indeed. Even strangers passing by yelled congratulations from their car windows.

I was excited to be engaged–to finally be moving toward marriage–but something never felt quite right. I sensed a resistance in my heart, like I wasn’t totally sure about something. But he was a good guy–the right age, handsome, fun, easy-going, from a decent family. What more could a girl want?

So I moved forward. Even though I had just bought my own home, I gave it up and moved in with him on a spring day in early March. Everyone has to make sacrifices for love, I reasoned. That’s where we’re going to end up anyway. Why not start now? At first, it was exciting and felt like the right thing to do. But a different story soon emerged.

After just a few months of living together, God shook things up. I accepted an awesome job opportunity in another state, so we left behind the house we just finished renovating and drove across the country (pets in tow) to set up our life far from home, family, friends, and church.

Shortly after we settled, a friend from work recommended we try out a small new Presbyterian church in the area. I was a tad leery, as I had recently been baptized in a non-denominational church, but I agreed to check it out. I immediately loved it and felt like this could be my church home. On my second visit, I filled out a visitor card, which asked a few questions about how I wanted to get involved. Did I want to join a life group? Be part of a ministry team? Have coffee with the pastor? Coffee sounded good. I checked the box.

Later that week, the pastor emailed me, asking when I wanted to get together. What a great opportunity to get to know him and learn more about the church, I thought. Maybe he would even be willing to officiate our wedding in a few months. High hopes turned to frustration when I mentioned the possibility to my fiancé. „Coffee? With a pastor?” he asked. „Heck, no. That’s just too weird.”

After weeks of my coercing, praying, hoping, and begging, he finally obliged. But we continued to fight about it–all the way to the front door of the pastor’s house. Regardless, I enjoyed myself and looked forward to hanging out with the pastor and his wife again soon. I could see them being our friends–a couple who would help guide our marriage and bring us closer to God.

Before we could marry, the church asked us to complete a series of counseling sessions, so we set up time to meet with our new pastor. He recommended we start reading the book When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey. I ordered it online, along with Tim and Kathy Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage. And in my determination to be the very best Christian wife I could be, I also ordered a copy of Carolyn Mahaney’s Feminine Appeal.  I thought these books would help us get ready for one of the biggest steps we would ever take.

Help they did, but in a way I didn’t expect. As I started reading Harvey’s book, the first chapter stopped me dead in my tracks. He explained that faith is the most important part of a marriage. Faith? Really? Even though I was now a Christian, I had never considered this point before. Harvey explains that faith is like the first button on a shirt–if you get that wrong, nothing else will line up right.

I began considering how this idea played out in the episode at the pastor’s house, not to mention the weekly task of begging my fiancé to go to church, trying to convince him to join a Bible study, and asking him to remember to pray before dinner. Is it supposed to be this difficult?

No, it’s not, I learned from Harvey, Keller, and my pastor. I began to realize that just as my thinking had been flawed about sex as a prerequisite for love, I also had the wrong idea about the most important traits in a marriage. As I kept reading and talking to other Christians, no one said it was a good idea for me to marry someone with a different worldview. In other words, I had come to love Jesus and make my decisions based on him; my fiancé had not. That discrepancy became poison in our relationship–barely noticeable at first but eventually corrupting nearly every aspect of our lives. As I grew closer to God, I grew further from wanting to marry someone who did not have a relationship with him.

Keller’s teaching on Ephesians 5 helped clarify what I was discovering. Ephesians 5:25-27 says:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit spoke to me on a weekday in early January when my friend opened the Bible to this passage and showed me the truth. I came to understand that God intends for marriage to mimic Jesus’ selfless love for his people. I was awestruck. My husband is supposed to lead me closer to God? I immediately broke down crying. I kept digging, trying to understand how I got so far off base. „He’s a good man,” I argued. „Yes, but is he a Christian? Does he know Jesus?” people asked me in response. „But if I leave him, won’t I be going against what God says, by not loving the unbeliever?” Surprisingly, no. I was not yet married. I had not made a covenant with him before God. I was not bound to him. As much as it would hurt to say goodbye, I knew this was not the relationship God intended for me. He promises much more, and I wasn’t going to find it in a marriage with an unbeliever.

As this devastating realization sunk in, we began the process of disentangling our lives. And within a few weeks, my ex-fiancé headed back to his home with his belongings, including the dog I had come to love and all of my hopes and dreams for a lifetime of happiness together. We both knew he had to find God on his own terms, in his own way.

Who could have guessed that simply checking a box on a church form would eventually end in heartbreak, financial loss, and unwanted singleness? Difficult and sad as it was, God was there every step of the way. He was there in the simple way it ended, despite our lives being intertwined in nearly every way. He was there in the support and love our family and friends provided. He was there to give me a sense of peace that transcended all understanding. Left to myself, previous breakups had knocked me down to my lowest points in life. But this time, with more riding on the relationship than ever before, I was truly okay. I suppose obedience to God made the difference. As much as it hurts, God is always there to pick up the pieces.

Marriage and family are still the two things I want most in life, but I know that they’re in God’s control–not mine. Before I knew God, I tried to control my relational life by making poor decisions and sacrifices that brought little reward. Now, I find fulfillment in God. He is my rock, the one who deserves my love and attention. While it is a daily struggle to trust him with the things I care about so deeply, he has proven that he’s looking out for me. I leave my future in his hands.

 Written by M. Connor. Read the follow-up article from M. Connor, „Today IS My Wedding Day! at the Gospel Coalition.

Related posts

Loving Your Husband Before You Get Married (via) CBMW

by Carolyn McCulley (via) The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Reprinted from the magazine Joyful Woman. All emphasis below (bold type) is mine.

In my first year as a Christian, I attended or was part of 13 weddings-including the weddings of my two younger sisters and one ex-boyfriend. The Lord was working overtime on the sin of self-pity that year, but out of His sanctifying work came my informal „ministry” of a wedding coordinator. I started by helping one of my sisters, and as the word got around, I ended up serving countless friends.

At a recent rehearsal dinner, someone asked me if it was difficult as an unmarried woman to be so involved in these weddings. I was glad to genuinely say no. That wasn’t always my answer, however. I can clearly recall sitting at many wedding receptions with the wind knocked out of me due to the bitterness in my heart. I would evaluate each aspect of the weddings I attended, and plan for how „my” special day would surpass the event unfolding before me. Like any Cinderella devotee, the highlight of my life would be that special moment when the doors were opened and all eyes-most especially those of My Prince-would be on me. What happened in the „happily ever after” part was the fine print. It was going to be All About Me on that day.

And probably for every day after that, too.

Maybe this is why the apostle Paul thought it was of paramount importance that the older women teach the younger women how to love their husbands. As always, the Bible is radically counter-cultural to the self-centered worldview spoon-fed to young girls through fairy tales and force-fed to young women through movies, magazines, and music. We have to learn how to step out of the princess spotlight and learn how to love well in the way God defines love. A wedding isn’t the kick-off to Happily Ever After. It’s only a segue into a new season, with new and different opportunities to demonstrate Christ-like love that weren’t present when single.

Do him good all the days of your life

King Lemuel was taught well by his mother, and his wisdom was memorialized in the 31st Proverb. Writing of the virtuous woman, he said that her husband has full confidence in her, and she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

That’s all the days of her life – days before and days after marriage. If you’re single, there are things you can do now to sow good seeds for a godly marriage. What if you’re not sure if you’ll be married? Though marriage is the norm for most, not all of us will receive that gift-that’s true. But, we’re still called to prepare.

Problems in marriage are always the result of self-centeredness,” writes Douglas Wilson in Her Hand in Marriage. „So the time a person spends when he is single should be time spent in preparation for marriage. This is important even if he never gets married. This is because biblical preparation for marriage is nothing more than learning to follow Jesus Christ and love one’s neighbor. In other words, preparation for Christian marriage is basically the same as preparation for Christian living. Christians are to prepare for marriage by learning self-denial, subduing their pride, and putting their neighbor first. Once they learn to love God and love their neighbor, they are prepared to enter into the covenant of marriage with one of their neighbors.”

Growing in philandros love

In her outstanding teaching series on the Titus 2 virtues, Carolyn Mahaney notes that the phrase „love their husbands” is only one word in the Greek. It is the compound word philandros, derived from phileo (a warm affection) and andros (man). Loving your husband with a tender, warm, deeply affectionate love might seem like a no-brainer until you think about the caricatures of long-married women in our culture: dismissive, disrespectful, bored, shrewish. Cultivating and maintaining that tender affection can, at times, take some work.

Single women can prepare to grow in philandros love now by understanding the doctrines of sin and God’s sovereignty. If God has marriage for us (His sovereign plan), one thing we need to settle now in our hearts is that we won’t be marrying Prince Charming; we will be marrying a sinner (the doctrine of indwelling sin). As will our husbands! So now we can do the „heartwork” to cultivate philandros love by working on what undermines it: the bitterness, selfishness, fear, and sinful judgment resident in us. When and if God brings us into a new season of marriage, this preparation will help us cultivate tender thoughts and behavior toward our husbands. Though there’s not space for a comprehensive treatment of these topics, below are some questions to we can consider before the Lord while still single:

  • Bitterness: Is there any unforgiveness in your heart against the men you’ve dated, or the men who have never asked you out? Do you regard the single men in your life as brothers in the Lord, or potential husbands? Do you grumble and complain on a regular basis about being single? (Ephesians 4:31-32)
  • Selfishness: Are you willing to serve the „unlovely” or the „least” in your church or circle of friends-even when no one is watching? Do you defer to others, esteeming them as better than yourself, or do you insist on your way? Do you view your time and schedule now as a single as a season to indulge yourself, or to be more available to serve others? (Philippians 2:3-4)
  • Fear: Do you trust God for your future, or do you think He has forgotten you? Do you think others will betray you, and thus „mess up” God’s plan for your life? (Romans 8:28-39)
  • Sinful judgment: Do you speculate about the single men around you, for good or bad? Are you assigning motives for their actions without asking humbly for information? Are you constantly comparing yourself with other women? (James 3:13-4:3)

Whether or not the Lord attaches an andros to our phileo love, this kind of „heartwork” is crucial to growing in the likeness of Christ. By working to become more like our Lord and Savior, we will be worthy of the full trust of both our earthly husbands (should we get married) and, ultimately, our heavenly Bridegroom.

Carolyn McCulley’s blog

Topics for Conversation When a Man and a Woman Are Considering Marriage by John Piper

Photo credit www.areadewasa.com

Use Translator – Limba Romana

English Albanian Arabic Bulgarian Catalan Chinese Simplified Chinese Traditional Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Estonian Filipino Finnish French Galician German Greek Hebrew Hindi Hungarian Indonesian Italian Japanese Korean Lativian Lithuanian Maltese Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Serbian Slovak Slovenian Spanish Swedish Thai Turkish Ukrainian Vietnamese

from DesiringGod.org

In each of these sections one item could be added that I have not listed, namely, How do you handle and live with differences? How do you decide what can remain differences without jeopardizing the relationship? So as you deal with each subheading, include that in the discussion.

Theology

  • What do you believe about . . . everything?
  • Perhaps read through the Desiring God Affirmation of Faith to see where each other is on various biblical doctrines.
  • Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?

Worship and Devotion

  • How important is corporate worship? Other participation in church life?
  • How important is it to be part of a small accountability/support group?
  • What is the importance of music in life and worship?
  • What are your daily personal devotional practices? Prayer, reading, meditation, memorization.
  • What would our family devotions look like? Who leads out in this?
  • Are we doing this now in an appropriate way: praying together about our lives and future, reading the Bible together?

Husband and Wife

  • What is the meaning of headship and submission in the Bible and in our marriage?
  • What are expectations about situations where one of you might be alone with someone of the opposite sex?
  • How are tasks shared in the home: cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, yard work, car upkeep, repairs, shopping for food, and household stuff?
  • What are the expectations for togetherness?
  • What is an ideal non-special evening?
  • How do you understand who and how often sex is initiated?
  • Who does the checkbook—or are there two?

Children

  • If and when, should we have children? Why?
  • How many?
  • How far apart?
  • Would we consider adoption?
  • What are the standards of behavior?
  • What are the appropriate ways to discipline them? How many strikes before they’re . . . whatever?
  • What are the expectations of time spent with them and when they go to bed?
  • What signs of affection will you show them?
  • What about school? Home school? Christian school? Public school?

Lifestyle

  • Own a home or not? Why?
  • What kind of neighborhood? Why?
  • How many cars? New? Used?
  • View of money in general. How much to the church?
  • How do you make money decisions?
  • Where will you buy clothes: Department store? Savers? In between? Why?

Entertainment

  • How much money should we spend on entertainment?
  • How often should we eat out? Where?
  • What kind of vacations are appropriate and helpful for us?
  • How many toys? Snowmobile, boat, cabin?
  • Should we have a television? Where? What is fitting to watch? How much?
  • What are the criteria for Movies and theater and video/DVD? What will our guidelines be for the kids?

Conflict

  • What makes you angry?
  • How do you handle your frustration or anger?
  • Who should bring up an issue that is bothersome?
  • What if we disagree both about what should be done, AND whether it is serious?
  • Will we go to bed angry at each other?
  • What is our view of getting help from friends or counselors?

Work

  • Who is the main breadwinner?
  • Should the wife work outside the home? Before kids? With kids at home? After kids?
  • What are your views of daycare for children?
  • What determines where you will locate? Job? Whose job? Church? Family?

Friends

  • Is it good to do things with friends but without fiancé, or without spouse?
  • What will you do if one of you really likes to hang out with so and so and the other doesn’t?

Health and Sickness

  • Do you have, or have you had any, sicknesses or physical problems that could affect our relationship? (Allergies, cancer, eating disorders, venereal disease, etc.)
  • Do you believe in divine healing and how would prayer relate to medical attention?
  • How do you think about exercise and healthy eating?
  • Do you have any habits that adversely affect health?

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

Do looks matter ? A Christian perspective

Page by Duncan Macleod – Girl in Dove Real Beauty Ad thinks she’s fat. Photo via theinspirationroom.com

We may say that beauty or looks don’t matter, but here is a startling look at how media shapes the way we think and act from a very early age. These are the attitudes (listed on the Washington University website) that we have to battle in our own kids’ lives:

Media’s Effect on Body Image

The popular media (television, movies, magazines, etc.) have, since World War II, increasingly held up a thinner and thinner body image as the ideal for women.

  • In a survey of girls 9 and 10 years old, 40% have tried to lose weight, according to an ongoing study funded by the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute.
  • In a study on fifth graders, 10 year old girls and boys told researchers they were dissatisfied with their own bodies after watching a music video by Britney Spears or a clip from the TV show „Friends”.
  • A 1996 study found that the amount of time an adolescent watches soaps, movies and music videos is associated with their degree of body dissatisfaction and desire to be thin.
  • One study reports that at age thirteen, 53% of American girls are „unhappy with their bodies.” This grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen.

A Kaiser Foundation study by Nancy Signorielli found that:

  • In movies, particularly, but also in television shows and the accompanying commercials, women’s and girls’ appearance is frequently commented on: 58 percent of female characters in movies had comments made about their looks, as did 28 percent in television shows and 26 percent of the female models in the accompanying commercials. Mens’ and boys’ appearance is talked about significantly less often in all three media: a quarter (24%) of male characters in the movies, and 10 percent and 7 percent, respectively, in television shows and commercials.
  • One in every three (37%) articles in leading teen girl magazines also included a focus on appearance, and most of the advertisements (50%) used an appeal to beauty to sell their products.
  • The commercials aimed at female viewers that ran during the television shows most often watched by teen girls also frequently used beauty as a product appeal (56% of commercials). By comparison, this is true of just 3 percent of television commercials aimed at men.

Source: National Institute on Media and the Family   HT source

Read the article below from the Gospel Coalition for a Christian perspective:

„I don’t care what she’ll look like,” the young man declared about his yet-unknown future bride. „I’ll love her for who she is inside.” Everyone in the small gathering of young people looked at him with distinctly unconvinced expressions. But this was a church gathering, and we all knew he was saying the spiritual thing. Such piety simply couldn’t be challenged. That is, until one guy ventured what was to him a sincere question: „Yeah, but don’t you want her to be hot?”

As if something appalling had been said, we collectively turned to the youth minister, who had been quietly backing away from the conversation. With an uneasy smile, he said, „Well, you can make a pretty girl spiritual, but you can’t make a spiritual girl pretty.”

Everyone sensed the sarcasm in his maxim, but it didn’t bring much resolution to the dilemma. Do looks matter? This question comes up a lot in my current ministry, too, usually in the form of a single friend feeling guilty for not being attracted to an otherwise worthy romantic candidate. I usually tell friends they shouldn’t feel guilty for not being attracted to someone–but they shouldn’t think the matter is necessarily settled, either.

Importance of the Body

The importance of physical attraction is related to the importance of the body itself. The Bible presents us as a psychosomatic unity. That’s a fancy way of saying that we are embodied souls. This is, in fact, God’s ideal for us even in eternity. We’re not souls longing to be freed from bodies but rather to have resurrected ones (1 Cor 15:35-57). The body is a necessary and good part of God’s design of every person you meet. So loving the inside of a person while disregarding the outside is not the biblical ideal of love. Just read Song of Solomon if you don’t believe me. Looks do matter. No woman wants a Valentine’s Day card that says, „You’re so sweet on the inside, it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside.” No man does either, though admittedly we are the visually inferior half of our race.

But before we settle into holding out for that girl with the right curves or the guy with the square jaw, let me point out that the importance of the body does not necessarily validate our personal preferences regarding what it should look like.

Basis of Attraction

Marital love involves valuing your spouse’s body. But this isn’t exactly the same thing as finding it attractive, at least not in the way we typically think of finding something attractive. We may inadvertently assume that being attracted to something is primarily about its level of attractiveness. Attraction seems like it just happens without our conscious participation, and we therefore conclude it is beyond our control. You’re attracted to someone, or you’re not, and that’s that. But attraction seems so automatic because we are culturally influenced even at the level of desire. Our preferences unwittingly imitate the narrow criteria for beauty reflected in fitness magazines or clothing advertisements, in the fashion of the day or the remarks of family members.

Without dismissing entirely the mysterious nature of attraction, I wish to point out that we are more capable than we often recognize of directing our preferences. We should not presume that our initial aesthetic sensibilities are an unchallengeable law within us. We have some level of direction over them.

The basis for attraction is valuing an actual person, body and soul. Husbands and wives should be attracted to one another because they value the whole person, not because they happen to like olive skin or a firm body. Those things change, but physical attraction need not. Attraction is more a matter of my commitment to value the full breadth of who my spouse is.

Isn’t this more like Jesus’ love for his people than simply following initial attractions? I’m not casting doubt on couples who fell in love at first sight–but even love at first sight will eventually require the self-emptying love that only Jesus makes us capable of giving (Phil 2:1-11). In marriage we hold hold our preferences loosely, valuing the person concretely rather than seeking a certain body shape or hair color. This is a far more stable basis for physical attraction in marriage. And it makes for better Valentine’s Day cards.

Preparation for Marriage

This principle can inform the way we seek a spouse. Perhaps this means that singles should be willing to direct their affections toward potential spouses they may not initially find attractive. My reasoning is not that looks are unimportant–remember, our bodies are a vital aspect of who we are. Rather, my reasoning is that our opinion of what constitutes good looks must not be an idol carved in stone. We need to be willing to challenge our own preferences regarding physical attraction in light of the greater principle that attraction stems from valuing a person.

How do you do this? Honestly, I don’t know. There is a level of mystery to the whole thing that we can’t escape. But maybe it could start with simply acknowledging that weak physical attraction is not necessarily a permanent situation. If you know a potential mate who is godly, relates well to you, and would otherwise be a worthy spouse, you should not feel guilty for feeling unattracted. Instead, holding your preferences with an open hand before the Lord, ask him what he would have you do. You may decide to pursue this person–then, you determine to appreciate God’s design, body and soul. You may be surprised at just how strong such properly grounded attraction can become.

HT www.thegospelcoalition.org

Nu urmări eliberarea de pornografie, urmăreşte-L pe Hristos – Don’t Pursue Freedom from Pornography, Pursue Christ (English/Romanian)

Un articol din arhiva, care l-am postat in noiembrie 2012, dar pentru ca a fost un ajutor pentru unii cititori, care se lupta cu problema pornografiei, il repostam aici:

telegraph.co.uk

Tu nu te lupti cu o dependenta de pornografie, tu te lupti cu o dependenta de pacat si in timp ce tu il cauti pe Hristos, in timp ce te increzi in El vei descoperi libertate din dependenta ta de pacat si eliberare de pacatul sexual. Eliberarea de pacatul sexual si de orice fel de pacat nu vine prin confruntarea pacatului si prin a spune, „Trebuie sa biruiesc asta.” Ci vine din a gasi acel ceva care este mai frumos- care este Hristos, si odata ce-L vezi pe El, odata ce te uiti la El ca fiind mai bun, vei birui cu siguranta.

Dacă vrei eliberarea de pornografie, atunci întoarce-ţi ochii spre frumuseţea, sacrificiul lui Isus Hristos pentru salvarea păcătoşilor de mânia Lui Dumnezeu, bând El acea mânie pentru credincios la cruce.

English Title: Don’t Pursue Freedom from Pornography, Pursue Christ VIDEO by

Related articles

Căsătoria = Sănătate ! Mariajul este benefic la propriu pentru inimă, susțin experții de la Universitatea Emory

wedding bride groom 1 million lightsPhoto credit www.canberratimes.com.au

Inca o stire amuzanta, dar nu surprinzatoare:

În urma cercetării efectuate pe un eșantion de peste 500 de pacienți supuși unor intervenții chirurgicale pentru afecțiuni cardiovasculare, specialiștii au observat că participanții căsătoriți aveau cel puțin de trei ori mai multe șanse de a supraviețui față de celibatari. Rezultatul a fost valabil atât în cazul bărbaților, cât și al femeilor. Pe de altă parte, chiar dacă supraviețuiau primelor trei luni de la operație, celibatarii prezentau un risc major de a muri după cinci ani de la intervenția chirurgicală (aproximativ 70%). O explicație a fenomenului derivă din importanța îngrijirii acordate de partenerul de viață, dar și din maniera pozitivă de a privi intervenția chirurgicală, observată în rândul pacienților căsătoriți, sugerează autoarea studiului, Ellen Idler, expertă în sociologie.

Un rezultat asemănător a fost obținut și de experții de la Brigham and Women’s Hospital, în urma unui studiu prin care au analizat impactul căsătoriei asupra diagnosticării și speranței de viață în rândul pacienților cu cancer. În urma demersului, ei au observat că persoanele căsătorite aveau mai multe șanse de a primi diagnosticul înainte ca tumoarea să ajungă la metastază, dar și șanse mai mari de a supraviețuii bolii, față de cei singuri.

Totodată, căsătoria îi protejează pe indivizi de accidentele fatale, au observat specialiștii de la Universitatea Rice. Concluziile studiului au arătat că celibatarii și cei care au divorțat sunt de două ori mai expuși riscului de a muri în urma unor evenimente care puteau fi evitate ușor, față de cei căsătoriți. Balanța dintre căsătoriți și persoanele singure s-a echilibrat în cazul accidentelor dificil de prevenit. „Starea civilă are o influenţă pentru că poate oferi sprijin pozitiv, poate demonta unele riscuri ale partenerului și poate oferi un sprijin imediat, care salvează viața în caz de urgență”, a explicat coordonatorul studiului, prof. Justin Deeney.

Citeste articolul in intregime aici – http://www.semneletimpului.ro

Un colaj Video cu o tânără bătută zilnic – Violenţa din familie, păcatul ascuns. Ce spune Biblia?

Ce spune Biblia despre violenta in familie? Cateva versete:

  1. Coloseni 3:19 –  Soţilor, iubiţi-vă soţiile şi nu fiţi aspri cu ele!
  2. Psalmi 11:5  – Domnul îl cercetează pe cel drept, dar pe cel rău şi pe cel ce iubeşte violenţa, sufletul Lui îi urăşte.
  3. 2 Timotei 3:1-5 – Să ştii că în zilele de pe urmă vor fi vremuri grele. 2 Căci oamenii vor fi iubitori de sine, iubitori de bani, lăudăroşi, aroganţi, blasfemiatori, neascultători de părinţi, nemulţumitori, lipsiţi de sfinţenie, 3 fără afecţiune, neînduplecaţi, acuzatori, neînfrânaţi (in engleza ‘brutali’), sălbatici, neiubitori de bine, 4 trădători, nechibzuiţi, încrezuţi, iubitori mai degrabă de plăceri decât de Dumnezeu, 5 având doar o formă de evlavie, dar negându-i puterea.
  4. Efeseni 4:31 – Orice amărăciune, mânie, furie, ţipăt şi blasfemie şi orice răutate să piară dintre voi!
  5. Romani 12:16-19 – Trăiţi în armonie unii cu alţii! Nu vă gândiţi la lucrurile înalte, ci asociaţi-vă cu cei smeriţi! Nu vă consideraţi singuri înţelepţi! 17 Nu întoarceţi nimănui rău pentru rău! Urmăriţi ce este bine înaintea tuturor oamenilor! 18 Dacă este posibil, atât cât depinde de voi, trăiţi în pace cu toţi oamenii! 19 Preaiubiţilor, nu vă răzbunaţi niciodată singuri, ci lăsaţi loc mâniei lui Dumnezeu, pentru că este scris: „A Mea este răzbunarea; Eu voi răsplăti! zice Domnul.
  6. Psalmi 10:17-18 – Tu, Doamne, asculţi dorinţa celor sărmani; Tu le întăreşti inima, plecându-Ţi urechea la cererea lor, 18 ca să faci dreptate orfanului şi celui asuprit, pentru ca omul, care este din ţărână, să nu mai insufle groaza.
  7. Psalmi 10:11 – Gura celui drept este un izvor de viaţă, dar gura celor răi ascunde violenţă.
  8. Efeseni 4:26 – „Mâniaţi-vă şi nu păcătuiţi!“ Nu lăsaţi să apună soarele peste mânia voastra. 

Sursa  Photo credit www.huffingtonpost. si http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Un colaj video a 365 de fotografii făcute în fiecare zi de o femeie agresată fizic de partenerul ei a devenit viral pe internet şi a reuşit să aducă în prim-plan lupta împotriva violenţei domestice.

Dacă în primele fotografii tânăra este frumoasă şi zâmbitoare, spre final chipul ei suferă modificări semnificative din cauza bătăilor primite. Tot la finalul clipului, ea ţine în mână un afiş pe care scrie în limba sârbă: „Vă rog, ajutaţi-mă! Nu ştiu dacă apuc ziua de mâine.”

Clipul este bazat pe fapte reale şi a fost creat de Organizaţia B92 din Serbia, care are ca scop aducerea la cunoştinţă a efectele grave ale violenţei în familie, dar şi construirea unui adăpost în Belgrad pentru victimele acestui tip de maltratare.

 10 români mor, lunar, din cauza violenţei domestice

Sute de români au murit în şapte ani din cauza violenţei domestice, mai exact 10 oameni în fiecare lună. Pentru autorităţi sunt doar statistici, însă pentru una din patru femei poate fi sfârşitul. Cu ocazia zilei de 25 noiembrie, declarată Ziua internaţională pentru eliminarea violenţei împotriva femeilor, Ministerul Muncii, Familiei şi Protecţiei Sociale a pus în dezbatere o strategie bazată pe prevenţia abuzului.

„Implementarea strategiei a început anul acesta si va continua până în 2017, şi nu va presupune niciun fel de alocări suplimentare de la bugetul de stat, finanţarea fiind aproape în exclusivitate bazată pe atragerea de fonduri europene nerambursabile”, a precizat secretarul de stat Denisa Oana Pătraşcu.

Campania presupune o caravană numită „Toleranţă zero faţă de violenţa în familie” şi vizează modificarea atitudinii comunităţii faţă de violenţa în familie, precum şi sensibilizarea autorităţilor locale pentru a se implica în prevenirea şi combaterea fenomenului, prin mobilizarea resurselor de care dispun. Sursa Semnele Timpului.

Pornography – What’s at risk when people think they can maintain a life of Christian discipleship while continuing to view pornography?

Dr. Heath Lambert, author of „Finally Free” at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I’d answer that (question) like this:

The men I’m doing ministry with, who are coming to me and saying, „I have this incredible struggle with pornography, I’ve been stuck for a long time and I don’t know how to get out of it.” By the time I’m having this conversation with someone, I’m actually encouraged. That doesn’t freak me out at all, I’m really encouraged when you’ve got a guy who says, „Let me open up my life and tell you what’s going on.” The people that concern me are the people that I’m not talking to. People that aren’t talking to the pastor, that aren’t talking to somebody else, because those are the people who are destroying their ministry, or their future ministry. They’re destroying their marriage and family, or their future marriage and family.

Because the way sin works, is it destroys. The lie of internet pornography is ‘, I’ll do this little thing over here, and it’s nasty, and it’s ugly, but I get finished with it and I cover it up, and I’ll go back to the rest of my life.” And the problem is that sin doesn’t stay covered up. You think you can control it, and you cannot control it. And it will break out, it will ruin your life.

And the tragedy of that is that the worst consequences are actually the ones that are stored up over a long amount of time. And so, these men who are doing this are sipping on poison that is eventually going to kill their ministry efforts and their efforts at marriage and family. They’re literally destroying their lives and their effectiveness for Christ, and they don’t even understand it. (Photos via Amazon)

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385832

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(2) For those seeking to overcome pornography, 

what practical measures are commonly missing from their strategy?

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385831

See Parts 3 & 4 also which answer the following questions:

Part 3 – How can people identify whether their sorrow over sin is godly sorrow or worldly sorrow?

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385833

That’s a great question, and where so much of the action is. Because you can have 2 people that are both sobbing, that are begging to be different, that are both begging you to help them and they swear they’re gonna change from now on. And you don’t know if either of them, or any of them, if they’re serious about it, if that’s the kind of change that will last. And so, this is why Paul’s language in 2 Corinthian 7 is so helpful, because he makes a distinction between these 2 kinds of sorrow. There’s Godly sorrow that leads to life and peace and there is worldly sorrow that leads to death and despair. And the difference is fundamentally, whether the sorrow is about you and your kingdom, or about Jesus and His kingdom. If you’re sad because you got found out, if you’re sad because of the consequences, that is the kind of sorrow that will kill you. The Bible is very clear on this. But if you’re sad over your sin because God’s law has been broken, because you’ve grieved the Holy Spirit, then that is the kind of sorrow that indicates that you’re turning the corner because it indicates that you’re moving from yourself, in your own lust, which is why you looked at the porn to begin with, towards God and His kingdom. And the markers between those are a number that I mention in the book. But, just a few that I’d mention here that are most significant are:

  1. Do you have the willingness to reach out to others for help? Do you have the willingness to expose yourself and bring the darkness into the light?
  2. Do you have the willingness to accept the consequences? Are you willing to have your wife be upset?
  3. Are you willing to tell your parents and have them cut off your internet privileges?
  4. Are you willing to lose your job at your church because of being sexually immoral?

People who are willing to face the consequences are people who are demonstrating that their sorrow is the Godly kind that leads to life.

Part 4 – How are pastors particularly vulnerable to pornography, and what are the dangers?

See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385834

There is a recent statistic out that says that 75% of pastors do nothing to make themselves accountable to anyone with regard to pornography. That’s terrible. I don’t think I wanna make a law here, where the Bible leaves people free, but I think I wanna say that in this pornographic age, it is reckless and irresponsible for a minister of the Gospel to take no measures to insulate themselves from pornography, for this reason: Pornography is looking for you. You don’t even have to think, „Oh, I might struggle with this.” Pornography is looking for you. There’s all this research that the porn industry is engaging in marketing , and in paying all kinds of things to attract people that aren’t currently looking at it. They’re spending millions and billions of dollars to get you in. And pastors that are really concerned to protect themselves and their families, and their flock from this real silent killer, need to be serious about putting some kind of accountability measures in their life, whether it’s just an accountability partner to say, „Hey, here’s where I’m struggling. Here’s some areas where you can pray with me.” Certainly, internet filters and protection on tablet devices and phones. That’s something that everybody can do, but I say that particularly for pastors since that recent statistic is so high.

De ce e Biblia impotriva consumului de alcool – Pentru ca e daunator corpului tau. Un studiu arata relatia dintre consumul de alcool si cancerul la san

CITESTE ARTICOLUL in LIMBA ENGLEZA aici – Click to Read this article in English here.

Sunt cel putin 75 de versete despre vin in Biblie la acest site. Desi e in Engleza, e foarte simplu sa descifrati versetele dupa pasajele/cartile din Biblie mentionate. – http://www.scionofzion.com/drinking.htm Biblia ne invata sa fim treji si sa nu ne imbatam. Dar acest studiu ne arata ca chiar si un pahar de vin e daunator fetelor/femeilor si riscul de a face cancer la san se ridica cu 34% prin consumul a mediei de 1 pahar de vin la zi (7 pe saptamana si daca bea lichior sau bere, o cantitate si mai mica rezulta in acelasi risc)

Stiu, cine bea si spune ca e liber in Hristos sa o faca v-a contesta ca Biblia te invata sa nu bei, desi sunt exemple, de ex. cand Pavel ii spune lui Timotei sa bea apa cu putin vin pentru desele lui imbolnaviri si il dezleaga sa consume putin vin. Oare de ce il desleaga sa bea? Nu pentru ca nu se facea asa ceva intre primii crestini? si apoi altele… Dar nu acesta e subiectul articolului, ci subiectul este fetele tinere, alcoolul si cancerul de san (cel mai inspaimantator cancer pentru o fata/femeie).

Studiul acesta a fost publicat în Journal of the National Cancer Institute si în Oxford Journals.

Un studiu, la care au participat peste 90.000 de mame fără cazuri de cancer în istoricul familiei, care au participat la al II-lea Studiu de Sănătate al Asistentelor realizat în perioada 1989-2009 s-a descoperit ca:

În urma rezultatelor, cercetătorii au descoperit că alcoolul consumat în perioada adolescenţei, până la prima sarcină, a crescut riscul dezvoltării cancerului mamar, dar şi a afecţiunilor benigne proliferative ale sânilor, unul din factorii de risc în apariţia tumorilor sânilor. Chiar şi după prima sarcină, riscul de dezvoltare a cancerului la sân a rămas la fel de ridicat, dar şi şansele de dezvoltare a tumorilor benigne mamare a sânilor.

Redau aici detaliile:

Tinerele care consumă alcool în perioada adolescenţei, până la prima sarcină, ar putea avea un risc mai mare de dezvoltare a cancerului de sân, susţin cercetătorii americani într-un studiu apărut în Oxford Journals.

La studiu au participat peste 90.000 de mame fără cazuri de cancer în istoricul familiei, care au participat la al II-lea Studiu de Sănătate al Asistentelor realizat în perioada 1989-2009. Pe baza chestionarelor completate la începutul experimentului, oamenii de ştiinţă au putut evalua nivelul consumului de alcool şi modul în care acesta ar putea influenţa dezvoltarea cancerului de sân. Dintre acestea, circa 3,8 procente au declarat că beau cantităţi moderate sau ridicate de alcool, în timp ce 20,4% au declarat că nu au consumat astfel de băuturi în perioada dintre adolescenţă şi prima sarcină. Până la sfârşitul studiului, 1.609 de participante au dezvoltat cancer la sân, punctează cercetătorii.

În urma rezultatelor, cercetătorii au descoperit că alcoolul consumat în perioada adolescenţei, până la prima sarcină, a crescut riscul dezvoltării cancerului mamar, dar şi a afecţiunilor benigne proliferative ale sânilor, unul din factorii de risc în apariţia tumorilor sânilor. Chiar şi după prima sarcină, riscul de dezvoltare a cancerului la sân a rămas la fel de ridicat, dar şi şansele de dezvoltare a tumorilor benigne mamare a sânilor.

„Conform cercetărilor noastre, lucrurile sunt clare: dacă o femeie consumă, în medie, o băutură alcoolică pe zi în perioada de la primul ciclu menstrual şi prima ei sarcină adusă la termen, riscul de a dezvolta cancer la sân în cazul acesteia creşte cu 13 procente”, a declarat coautorul studiului, dr, Graham Colditz, director asociat în prevenirea şi controlarea cancerului la Centrul pentru Cancer Siteman de la Spitalul Barnes-Jewish, pentru Eurek Alert.

De asemenea, consumate zilnic, fiecare sticlă de bere, pahar de vin sau shot de alcool creşte riscul de dezvoltare a afecţiunilor benigne proliferative ale sânilor cu 15%. Aceste tumori benigne pot creşte riscul de dezvoltare a tumorilor maligne chiar şi cu 500%, susţine coordonatorul studului, dr. Ying Liu, instructor în Divizia de Ştiinţe pentru Sănătatea Publică de la Şcoala de Medicină.

Studiul a fost publicat în Journal of the National Cancer Institute. Sursa http://www.semneletimpului.ro

Si inca un articol de la inceputul anului, care dovedeste ca alcoolul distruge fete/femei:

Alcoolul si fetele

10 Jan 2013

Avem tendinta sa stam de vorba cu baietii nostri despre pericolul alcoolului, dar iata o statistica trista care ne spune ca trebuie sa ne invatam si fetele sa se fereasca de acest pericol:
In SUA, aproximativ 23.000 de femei mor anual ca urmare a abuzului de alcool. În afară de bolile asociate consumului de alcool, fetele şi femeile au şi un risc crescut de a rămâne însărcinate, de a contracta boli cu transmitere sexuală şi de a face cancer la sân. Problema este gravă nu doar peste ocean, ci şi în Europa.

Numărul de decese ca urmare a abuzului de alcool crește de la an la an, potrivit unui raport realizat de Centrele pentru prevenirea şi controlul îmbolnăvirilor din SUA. Aceeaşi problemă o au şi autorităţile scoţiene, care se confruntă cu o dublare a deceselor cauzate de alcoolism, în rândul femeilor.

Raportul a arătat că una din opt femei din SUA consumă regulat alcool în exces şi, potrivit ABC News, situaţia este şi mai gravă în rândul adolescentelor. Una din cinci liceene consumă alcool în exces. sursa http://www.semneletimpului.ro

Young women are now paying the price for drinking through breast cancer

Photo credit www.motivationalquotes.com

Teach your daughters not to drink alcohol

Some alarming results, recently reported in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute and in the Oxford Journals.

Women who drink the equivalent of one glass of wine a night through their teens and early twenties increase their chance of breast cancer by one third, according to new research.

Here are some points from the report:

Background Adult alcohol consumption during the previous year is related to breast cancer risk. Breast tissue is particularly susceptible to carcinogens between menarche (first period) and first full-term pregnancy. No study has characterized the contribution of alcohol consumption during this interval to risks of proliferative benign breast disease (BBD) and breast cancer.

Methods We used data from 91005 parous women in the Nurses’ Health Study II who had no cancer history, completed questions on early alcohol consumption in 1989, and were followed through June 30, 2009, to analyze breast cancer risk. A subset of 60093 women who had no history of BBD or cancer in 1991 and were followed through June 30, 2001, were included in the analysis of proliferative BBD. Relative risks (RRs) were estimated using Cox proportional hazard regression.

Results We identified 1609 breast cancer cases and 970 proliferative BBD cases confirmed by central histology review. Alcohol consumption between menarche and first pregnancy, adjusted for drinking after first pregnancy, was associated with risks of breast cancer (RR = 1.11 per 10g/day intake; 95% confidence interval [CI] = 1.00 to 1.23) and proliferative BBD (RR = 1.16 per 10g/day intake; 95% CI = 1.02 to 1.32). Drinking after first pregnancy had a similar risk for breast cancer (RR = 1.09 per 10g/day intake; 95% CI = 0.96 to 1.23) but not for BBD. The association between drinking before first pregnancy and breast neoplasia appeared to be stronger with longer menarche to first pregnancy intervals.

Conclusions Alcohol consumption before first pregnancy was consistently associated with increased risks of proliferative BBD and breast cancer.

Alcohol is considered by the International Agency for Research on Cancer to be causally related to invasive breast cancer (hereafter called “breast cancer”) (1), with a 7% to 10% increase in risk for each 10g alcohol consumed daily by adult women. One mechanism may be alcohol-induced increases in circulating estrogens and subsequently epithelial cell proliferation. However, the risk attributable to alcohol intake during adolescence and early adulthood remains inconclusive. (photo below www.sodahead.com)

And here is the story in plain speak from the Telegraph.Uk:

The study published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute found that mothers who had drunk around two units of alcohol a day (1 glass of wine) in the decade after their periods began were 34 per cent more likely to develop the disease than those who did not drink during the same period.

The association was strongest among mothers who started their family later in life.

Research has previously found that alcohol is a key factor in breast cancer, with women who drink around two units a day having about a 24 per cent increased risk of the disease.

The new study found that the risk was even more marked if women started drinking younger, with an even stronger association depending on how long they were fertile for before becoming pregnant.

Women who never have children, or delay becoming pregnant, were already known to be more susceptible to breast cancer.

Researchers led by Dr Ying Liu from Washington University School of Medicine in St Louis, US, examined the history of 91,000 women aged 15 to 40,

The evidence suggested that alcohol consumed before first pregnancy may play an important role in the development of breast cancer, said the researchers.

“Reducing alcohol consumption during this period may be an effective prevention strategy,” they concluded.

The findings indicated a dose-dependent relationship, which means the more alcohol a woman drinks during that time, the higher her risk of developing breast cancer.

Dr Liu said: “The general consistency in the patterns of association between alcohol and risk of proliferative benign breast cancer disease and of breast cancer lends support to the hypothesis that alcohol intake, particularly before first pregnancy when breast tissue is likely at its most vulnerable stage, may play an important role in the etiology of breast cancer.”

Crystal Renaud – Women and sex addiction – a story of grace

Crystal, who was exposed to pornography at the age of 10.: It’s interesting how a magazine one day, can take you places you never wanted to go.

Click here for the podcast:

Screen Shot 2013-08-29 at 4.11.41 PM

From http://www.ragamuffinreflections.com

Episode #26 of the Undone Redone podcast features an interview with author and speaker Crystal Renaud who shares her 8 year battle with pornography and sex addiction and the unique shame that women who struggle in this area experience. Crystal is the Founder and Director of Whole Women’s Ministries and the author of Dirty Girls Come Clean, her story of dealing with and overcoming sex addiction as a female. Crystal launched Dirty Girls Ministries in 2009 out of her own journey of becoming whole after an 8-year battle with pornography and sexual addiction.

Crystal’s ministry is hosting an online conference for women called Whole Women’s Conference being held September 7th for North America and September 14th for the International conference. To register, go to www.dirtygirlsministries.com/whole/.  For more information – http://crystalrenaud.com/
Related articles

The 3 Deadliest Words In The World – „It’s A Girl” : Evan Grae Davis – Gendercide: the greatest human rights issue of our time & the greatest form of violence in the world

Photo credit waitingonmylittlewiggleworm.blogspot.com

Here is an article whose subject – gendercide- is absolutely devastating. The statistics are staggering.

What is gendercide? Gendercide is the systematic killing of members of a specific sex. 

The ugly facts of gendercide: China and India kill more girls than are born in the whole United States in one year. And then the aftermath: In China there are 37 million more men than women, leading to kidnappings of women from other countries and resulting in a high number of child brides. Filmmaker Evan Grae Davis has filmed a documentary that focuses on these two countries.

Even in a secular society, life is the most basic human right there is. For those of us that live our lives for the God who created us, it is much, much more. Psalm 127:3 says, „Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Ezekiel 16:36-38 speaks about the judgment against those that gave the blood of their children to their idols. Jeremiah 22:17 speaks about „shedding innocent blood, and for practicing oppression and violence.” Just look at the picture below, the terrified women held in a cell and awaiting a brutal forced abortion after having been busted in by the Family Planning Police of China and arrested. And then there is Exodus 20:13 „You shall not murder”, one of 10 commandments given to mankind.

The 3 Deadliest Words In The World – „It’s A Girl”

Photo credit and story below from http://www.itsagirlmovie.com

In India, China and many other parts of the world today, girls are killed, aborted and abandoned simply because they are girls. The United Nations estimates as many as 200 million girls are missing in the world today because of this so-called „gendercide”.

This is a trailer for a documentary that shows some of the faces of women and societies in China and India that contribute to the genocide of girls. Following a 3 minute documentary trailer for the film, ‘It’s a Girl’ director Evan Grae Davis gives a TEDxTalk.

3 minute trailer

Bring It’s a Girl to your city. Learn more athttp://www.itsagirlmovie.com/host-a-s….

About the speaker:
From the Aral Sea disaster in Eastern Europe to poverty in Africa to social transformation among tribal groups of South America, ‘It’s a Girl’ director Evan Grae Davis has traveled the globe with camera in hand for 16 years. Evan has dedicated his career to advocating for social justice through writing and directing short documentaries and educational videos championing the cause of the poor and exploited. Evan draws from his experience and passion as he lends leadership to Shadowline Films, a team of filmmakers who share a common concern for the critical issues of our time. It’s a Girl is his first feature-length documentary.

It’s a girl, a film being released this year, documents the practice of killing unwanted baby girls in South Asia. The trailer’s most chilling scene is one with an Indian woman who, unable to contain her laughter, confesses to having killed eight infant daughters.

The statistics are sickening. The UN reports approximately 200 million girls in the world today are ‘missing’. India and China are said to eliminate more female infants than the number of girls born in the US each year. Lianyungang in China has the worst infant gender ratio on record with 163 boys born for every 100 girls. Taiwan, South Korea and Pakistan are also countries in which unwanted female babies are aborted, killed or abandoned.

China gendercideEvan Grae Davis: The one child policy in China results in the most violence against women than any other official policy in the world today. (Photo from video)

women abducted in bed for forced abortions ChinaThese women were abducted from bed (some still in their pajamas) for forced abortions in China. Their doors were broken in by the Family Planning Police in a family planning raid. Not only will they suffer forced abortions, but in many cases sterilizations. (Photo from video)

About the talk:
Evan talks about the global problem of female genocide using some eye opening statistics, powerful real life experiences and most importantly through his documentary making journey. His documentary is called „It’s a girl”.

VIDEO by Shadowline Films and TEDxTalks (11 minutes)

Conferinta Femeilor Mamaia – Rodica Baciu

Rodica Baciu
Rodica Baciu

Matei 28:20 – Şi iată că Eu sînt cu voi în toate zilele, pînă la sfîrşitul veacului. Aceasta promisiune se oglindeste si mai mult in cartea Efeseni, in care arata cum am fost adusi de la moarte la viata si pusi in Hristos pentru a fi o faptura noua. Ultima parte a cartii Efeseni ne prezinta faptul ca nu numai ca nu suntem singuri, nu numai ca suntem in Hristos, dar Dumnezeu s-a preocupat in detaliu ca noi sa fim echipati cu un armament spiritual potrivit pentru orice situatie grea. Este un avantaj extraordinar sa cunoastem acest armament, sa il purtam in fiecare zi:

VIDEO by CredoTVonline

When Mother’s day is not a celebration for you – words of comfort

from Noel Piper’s blog

God knows, Mothers Day is the hardest day in the year for some of you.

Large bouquets of white roses are at the front of our church. If you were with us this weekend, one of those roses would have been for you.

Your sadness may be related to your mother:

  • Your mother is not alive.
  • Life with your mother was too difficult to celebrate.
  • Your mother wasn’t part of your life.
  • You can celebrate with your mother because she lives too far away.
  • Your mother is ill or suffering dementia.

It may be grief related to your own mothering:

  • You have longed for children but have never been able to be pregnant.
  • You have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth and never had even one sweet moment of looking into your baby’s eyes.
  • After that loss, you fear it might happen again.
  • You laid your baby down to sleep one afternoon or evening, and your little one never woke again.
  • After losing that child, you feel fear when you look at your other children or think of having another.
  • You were so close to adopting the child you already loved from a distance, and then the plans fell through.
  • Your child–whether a child or adult–lost the battle to a disease, or died accidentally, or was murdered, or took his or her own life.
  • Your child is alienated from you.
  • Your child has a disability that doesn’t permit you ever to hear “I love you” from him or her. (If this is true, I hope you will be comforted today by John Knight’s post about his wife and son)

God knows. That wasn’t a throw-away phrase I used at the beginning. God does know. He knows your fear, grief, anger, anxiety, love–the welter of emotions today that you hardly know how to name. He knows that even though you may be mostly composed most days, this day stirs it all up.

I pray that your church and others close to you will be Christ’s hands and heart for you today.

Even if other people aren’t aware or sensitive, I pray for you today that you can feel deeply the com-passion (together-suffering) of Jesus who bears our griefs and carries our sorrows.

Husbands, love your wives

Excerpt from the message – John MacArthur:

(See entire message here gty.org/resources/sermons/80-383)

People in marriages attack each other because of their own sinfulness, their own fallenness and because there’s conflict as we read in Genesis between the man and the woman as they vie for power in the union. So immediately upon the Fall, marriage is under assault from the outside by Satan and from the inside by the conflict that rises in the hearts of the two people that make up that union.

……

MacArthur states that in order for a marriage to work, it has: To be „monitored by and empowered by the Holy Spirit”. 

“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her so that He might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless. “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church because we are members of His body.” A very lengthy and very detailed set of instructions for the husband.

The husband’s command is very clear. It’s a single command. Husbands, love your wives. Love your wives. That is the command. There is no command to take authority over your wife. That’s not the command. That is not the command. Is the husband the head? Absolutely he’s the head. We saw that, didn’t we, in 1 Corinthians 11, the husband is the head of the wife, Christ is the head of the man, God is the head of Christ. But the command is not to take authority. It doesn’t say a word about that. It doesn’t say take authority. It doesn’t say rule over your wife. It doesn’t say order her around. It doesn’t say command her. It doesn’t say subjugate her, subject her. It doesn’t say dominate her. It says love your wives…love your wives. And the word for love is from the verb agapao which is the most intense, most divine, most magnanimous, most sacrificial, most humble kind of love. It’s the love of the will. There are other words for love in the Greek language. There’s the word eros(? from which you get erotic, that’s a sexual kind of love. There’s the word phileo, the verb phileo which is the word that is in the word Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, it means that, that kind of a normal, human affection. There is even a word for family love and that word is used when the Apostle Paul writes to Timothy and says that people in the society, the worldly society have lost their natural affection. That is their family love. So there are words for family love, and erotic love, and brotherly love. But this is the word for the love of the will. This is the word that is the most magnanimous, the most far-reaching, and the most intentional. This is…this is a word for love that is not defined by the solicitation of the one loved. This is the love of the will. This is loving because it is right to love, loving because you will to love. It doesn’t mean the person is not attractive, but this word is defined as a word that expresses one’s intentionality.

This is how we are to love because we determine to love, because we will to love. This is, of course, defined for us as the kind of love the Lord has for His church. He does not love us because we are lovable. He did not save us because we were lovable. He didn’t save you and not somebody else down the street from you because you were more lovable than the person down the street. You might have picked your life partner because that person was more lovable in your judgment than the other people you knew. That is not how God chose you. He predetermined by His own will to set His love on you and to then spend His love relentlessly on you forever and ever and ever. And it is that kind of love that a husband is to set upon the woman that he takes as his wife.

It is the manner of our love. Let’s start with that word “manner,” we’ll break it down into several parts. This love, the manner of this love, “as Christ loved the church” and you can go all the way back and say, Romans 5:8, “He loved us when we were enemies, when we were alienated, when we were unlovable and unlovely and unloving and before we loved Him. We only love Him because He first loved us. That’s what we’re talking about. You set your love by your will because it’s right and it’s noble, and it’s the way Christ set His love on us. That’s the manner of it.

 

The Willful Submission of a Christian Wife

Excerpts from – see entire message here http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/80-382

John MacArthur:

In other words, if you reverence Christ, if you are in awe of Christ, if you desire to honor and please Him, then be a submissive person…a submissive person. As general characteristic, we are to be submissive. Spirit-filled people are submissive. That is to say, they are not dominating, they are not proud, they are not self-willed. They do not live by their own agenda which is, of course, the way people in our culture and our society today live. We have sown the seeds of a self-esteem psychology and we have reaped a harvest of pride, overwhelming pride, personal pride, self-glorification, self-will, domination of the environment by one’s own person and plans. But Spirit-filled people are submissive by the work of the Holy Spirit.

The word here for “subject,” or “submit” is hupotasso, it’s a Greek verb, hupotasso, it’s compounded. It means…tasso means to arrange, to place in order, and hupo is under. It’s a military term, it means to place yourself under, to rank yourself under. That’s what it means in the military sense. It is to rank yourself under those in authority over you, under those who have responsibility for you, to be under someone. As a general principle as Christians, we are to live lives of submission. This is so clearly the general principle of Christian living that it is referred to many times in particular in the New Testament. But perhaps as clear a section as there is Philippians 2. In Philippians 2 we read in verse 1, we’ll just pick it up at verse 1, “If there’s any encouragement in Christ, any consolation of love, any fellowship of the Spirit, any affection and compassion—talking about mutually among believers—make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, loving everybody the same, thinking the same things, united in Spirit, intent on one purpose.”

How in the world can you do that? How can you get along so completely with others? “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interest of others.” That is the soul of submission. It is humility. It is being unselfish, having no conceit but with humility of mind, considering others as more important than yourselves. Not looking out for your own interests, but the interests of others. That is a spiritual grace that is produced by the Holy Spirit. If there is any fellowship of the Spirit, any real fellowship of the Spirit, this then will appear. And—by the way—the greatest illustration of this is Christ Himself. You are to have this attitude of humble submission in yourselves, verse 5, which was also in Christ Jesus who although He existed in the form of God didn’t regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, held onto, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a slave and being made in the likeness of man, found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross.”

This is what it means to be submissive, to be humble, to look not on your own things but the things of others. That broad command is also repeated in 1 Corinthians 16:16, “You also be in subjection to such men and to everyone who helps in the work and labors.”

How do I know she’s the one? by Michael Lawrence

In honor of International Woman’s day today, I thought I’d repost this article:

A Biblical perspective from boundless.org (2010)

„How do I know if she’s the one?”

I can’t think of a question I encounter more often among single Christian men. The point of the question is clear enough. But a rich irony dwells beneath the question. In a culture that allows us to choose the person we’re going to marry, no one wants to make the wrong choice. Especially if, as Christians, we understand that the choice we make is a choice for life.

The question is not merely ironic. If what you’re after is a marriage that will glorify God and produce real joy for you and your bride, it’s also the wrong question. That’s because the unstated goal of the question is „How do I know if she’s the one … for me.”

The question frames the entire decision-making process in fundamentally self-oriented — if not downright selfish — terms. And it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or not she meets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet. In this scenario you remain unexamined, unquestioned, and unassailable — sovereign in your tastes and preferences and judgments.

The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry a sinner, but you are a sinner as well.

From a consumeristic perspective, no woman on this planet is ever going to perfectly meet your specifications. What’s more, your unexamined requirements for a spouse are inevitably twisted by your own sinful nature. The Bible reminds us that though our marriages are to be pictures of the gospel relationship between Christ and the church, none of us get to marry Jesus. Instead, like Hosea, we all marry Gomer; that is to say, we all marry another sinner, whom God intends to use to refine and grow our faith in Jesus.

So what’s a guy to do?

Ask the right questions

To begin with, start with a different question. Instead of asking if she’s the one, you should ask yourself, „Am I the sort of man a godly woman would want to marry?” If you’re not, then you’d be better off spending less time evaluating the women around you, and more time developing the character of a disciple. Start by considering the characteristics of an elder that Paul lays out in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and work toward those.

Then you should ask another question: „What sort of qualities should I be looking for in a wife so that my marriage will be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church?” If you’re not sure what those characteristics are, then spend some time reading Proverbs 31, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:22-33.

Once you’ve asked the right questions, and once you’ve found someone you suspect fits the biblical description of a godly wife, you now need to decide whether to get married. And men, though this is a big decision, it’s not a decision that should take too long. How long is too long for a dating relationship? The Bible doesn’t provide a timetable (after all, most marriages were arranged during Biblical times). But it does provide principles that point us in the direction of making a decision to marry or break up in the shortest appropriate time.

Think like a servant, not a consumer

In 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Paul warns the Thessalonian Christians against „taking advantage” of their brothers or sisters. The larger context in the first eight verses makes clear that what Paul primarily has in view is sexual immorality, in which you take from one another a physical intimacy not rightfully yours.

But the text also suggests that there are other ways you can take advantage of one another in a dating relationship. And one of the primary ways men do this is to elicit and enjoy all the benefits of unending companionship and emotional intimacy with their girlfriends without ever committing to the covenant relationship of marriage.

Too often in dating relationships we think and act like consumers rather than servants. And not very good consumers at that. After all, no one would ever go down to his local car dealership, take a car out for an extended test drive, park it in his garage, drive it back and forth to work for several weeks, maybe take it on vacation, having put lots of miles on it, and then take it back to the dealer and say, „I’m just not ready to buy a new car.”

But so often, that’s exactly the way men treat the women they’re dating. Endlessly „test driving” the relationship, without any real regard for the spiritual and emotional wear and tear they’re putting her through, all the while keeping their eyes out for a better model.

The Scriptures are clear. We are not to take advantage of one another in this way. Instead, as Paul says in Romans 13:10, „Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

Remember that love is never easy

One of the myths out there is that if you just spend enough time searching, if you can just gather enough information, you’ll find a woman with whom marriage will be „easy.” The fact is, such a woman doesn’t exist, and if she did, she likely wouldn’t marry you. And that means that you don’t need as much information as you think you do.

No matter how long you’ve dated, everyone marries a stranger. That’s because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you’re trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it’s only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren’t easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?

Men, the point of marriage is that we learn to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, as Revelation 21 and Ephesians 5 tell us, one day, Christ’s bride will be perfectly beautiful, without spot or blemish, altogether lovely and loveable.

But the church is not there yet. First, Christ had to commit himself to us, even to death on a cross. This is the model we’re called to follow. It’s not an easy model, but it is worth it.

So your goal should not be to date her long enough until you’re confident marriage won’t be hard, but to date her just long enough to discern if you’re willing to love her sacrificially, and if she’s willing to respond to that kind of love.

Remember that to commit does not mean to settle

Does this mean you should just „settle” for the first Christian woman who comes along? No, not at all. You should be making this decision in light of the qualities held out in Scripture for a godly wife, and you should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you.

But you also need to be aware that you live in a culture that says the ultimate good in life is to always keep your options open, and that any commitment is inevitably „settling” for less than you could have tomorrow. You must reject that kind of thinking for the worldly garbage that it is. Did Jesus Christ settle for the church? No, he loved the church, and gave his life as a ransom for her (Mark 10:45).

Marriage is fundamentally a means to glorify and serve God, not by finding someone who will meet our needs and desires, but by giving ourselves to another for their good. So if you find yourself hesitating about committing to a godly, biblically-qualified woman, then ask yourself, „Are my reasons biblical, or am I just afraid that if I commit, someone better will walk around the corner after it’s too late?” Consumers are always on the lookout for something better. Christ calls us to trust Him that in finding a wife, we have found „what is good and receive favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22).

Marry true beauty when you find it

Finally, the Scriptures call us to develop an attraction to true beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-6 describes the beautiful wife as a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, born out of her faith and hope in God, and displayed in her trusting submission to her husband. Men, is the presence of this kind of beauty the driving force for your sense of attraction to your girlfriend? Or have you made romantic attraction and „chemistry” the deciding issue?

Now don’t get me wrong. You should be physically attracted to the woman you marry. This is one of the ways marriage serves as a protection against sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:3-5). But we get in trouble, both in dating and in marriage, when we make physical beauty and „chemistry” the threshold issue in the decision to commit (or remain committed) to marriage.

Physical beauty in a fallen world is fading and transient. What’s more, the world narrowly defines beauty as the body of a teenager, and scorns the beauty of motherhood and maturity. But in which „body” is your wife going to spend most of her years with you? Personalities also change and mature, and what seems like „chemistry” when you’re 22 might feel like superficial immaturity 10 years later. Even over the course of a long courtship and engagement in the prime of your youth, physical attraction and chemistry are sure to go through ups and downs. We must resist the temptation to value the wrong kind of beauty.

No one lives in a perpetual state of „being in love.” But in marriage, our love is called to „always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere” (1 Cor. 13:7). If mere worldly, physical beauty is the main thing attracting our love, then our love will prove as ephemeral as that beauty. But if we have developed an attraction to true beauty, then we have nothing to fear. Marry a vibrant growing Christian woman, and you have Christ’s promise that he is committed to making her more and more beautiful, spiritually beautiful, with every passing day (Rom. 8:28; Phil. 1:6).

More questions to ask

How then do you decide, in a reasonable amount of time, whether or not to marry the woman you’re dating? Let me conclude with some more questions you should be asking.

  • Generally speaking, will you be able to serve God better together than apart?
  • Do you desire to fulfill the biblical role of a husband outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 with this specific woman? Do you want to love her sacrificially?
  • Does this relationship spur you on in your Christian discipleship, or does it dull and distract your interest in the Lord and his people? Are you more or less eager to study God’s word, and pray, and give yourself in service as a result of time spent together?
  • Do you think she will make a good discipler of your children?
  • What do other mature Christian friends and family members say about your relationship? Do they see a relationship that is spiritually solid and God-glorifying?

If you can’t answer the questions at all, then you may need to spend some more time getting to know each other. But if you can answer them (and others like them) either positively or negatively, then it’s time to stop test-driving the relationship and either commit to marriage or let someone else have the opportunity.

Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend
by Michael Lawrence
„How do I know if she’s the one?”I can’t think of a question I encounter more often among single Christian men. The point of the question is clear enough. But a rich irony dwells beneath the question. In a culture that allows us to choose the person we’re going to marry, no one wants to make the wrong choice. Especially if, as Christians, we understand that the choice we make is a choice for life.The question is not merely ironic. If what you’re after is a marriage that will glorify God and produce real joy for you and your bride, it’s also the wrong question. That’s because the unstated goal of the question is „How do I know if she’s the one … for me.”

The question frames the entire decision-making process in fundamentally self-oriented — if not downright selfish — terms. And it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or not she meets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet. In this scenario you remain unexamined, unquestioned, and unassailable — sovereign in your tastes and preferences and judgments.

The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry a sinner, but you are a sinner as well.

From a consumeristic perspective, no woman on this planet is ever going to perfectly meet your specifications. What’s more, your unexamined requirements for a spouse are inevitably twisted by your own sinful nature. The Bible reminds us that though our marriages are to be pictures of the gospel relationship between Christ and the church, none of us get to marry Jesus. Instead, like Hosea, we all marry Gomer; that is to say, we all marry another sinner, whom God intends to use to refine and grow our faith in Jesus.

So what’s a guy to do?

Ask the right questions

To begin with, start with a different question. Instead of asking if she’s the one, you should ask yourself, „Am I the sort of man a godly woman would want to marry?” If you’re not, then you’d be better off spending less time evaluating the women around you, and more time developing the character of a disciple. Start by considering the characteristics of an elder that Paul lays out in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and work toward those.

Then you should ask another question: „What sort of qualities should I be looking for in a wife so that my marriage will be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church?” If you’re not sure what those characteristics are, then spend some time reading Proverbs 31, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:22-33.

Once you’ve asked the right questions, and once you’ve found someone you suspect fits the biblical description of a godly wife, you now need to decide whether to get married. And men, though this is a big decision, it’s not a decision that should take too long. How long is too long for a dating relationship? The Bible doesn’t provide a timetable (after all, most marriages were arranged during Biblical times). But it does provide principles that point us in the direction of making a decision to marry or break up in the shortest appropriate time.

Think like a servant, not a consumer

In 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Paul warns the Thessalonian Christians against „taking advantage” of their brothers or sisters. The larger context in the first eight verses makes clear that what Paul primarily has in view is sexual immorality, in which you take from one another a physical intimacy not rightfully yours.

But the text also suggests that there are other ways you can take advantage of one another in a dating relationship. And one of the primary ways men do this is to elicit and enjoy all the benefits of unending companionship and emotional intimacy with their girlfriends without ever committing to the covenant relationship of marriage.

Too often in dating relationships we think and act like consumers rather than servants. And not very good consumers at that. After all, no one would ever go down to his local car dealership, take a car out for an extended test drive, park it in his garage, drive it back and forth to work for several weeks, maybe take it on vacation, having put lots of miles on it, and then take it back to the dealer and say, „I’m just not ready to buy a new car.”

But so often, that’s exactly the way men treat the women they’re dating. Endlessly „test driving” the relationship, without any real regard for the spiritual and emotional wear and tear they’re putting her through, all the while keeping their eyes out for a better model.

The Scriptures are clear. We are not to take advantage of one another in this way. Instead, as Paul says in Romans 13:10, „Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

Remember that love is never easy

One of the myths out there is that if you just spend enough time searching, if you can just gather enough information, you’ll find a woman with whom marriage will be „easy.” The fact is, such a woman doesn’t exist, and if she did, she likely wouldn’t marry you. And that means that you don’t need as much information as you think you do.

No matter how long you’ve dated, everyone marries a stranger. That’s because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you’re trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it’s only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren’t easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?

Men, the point of marriage is that we learn to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, as Revelation 21 and Ephesians 5 tell us, one day, Christ’s bride will be perfectly beautiful, without spot or blemish, altogether lovely and loveable.

But the church is not there yet. First, Christ had to commit himself to us, even to death on a cross. This is the model we’re called to follow. It’s not an easy model, but it is worth it.

So your goal should not be to date her long enough until you’re confident marriage won’t be hard, but to date her just long enough to discern if you’re willing to love her sacrificially, and if she’s willing to respond to that kind of love.

Remember that to commit does not mean to settle

Does this mean you should just „settle” for the first Christian woman who comes along? No, not at all. You should be making this decision in light of the qualities held out in Scripture for a godly wife, and you should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you.

But you also need to be aware that you live in a culture that says the ultimate good in life is to always keep your options open, and that any commitment is inevitably „settling” for less than you could have tomorrow. You must reject that kind of thinking for the worldly garbage that it is. Did Jesus Christ settle for the church? No, he loved the church, and gave his life as a ransom for her (Mark 10:45).

Marriage is fundamentally a means to glorify and serve God, not by finding someone who will meet our needs and desires, but by giving ourselves to another for their good. So if you find yourself hesitating about committing to a godly, biblically-qualified woman, then ask yourself, „Are my reasons biblical, or am I just afraid that if I commit, someone better will walk around the corner after it’s too late?” Consumers are always on the lookout for something better. Christ calls us to trust Him that in finding a wife, we have found „what is good and receive favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22).

Marry true beauty when you find it

Finally, the Scriptures call us to develop an attraction to true beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-6 describes the beautiful wife as a woman who has a gentle and quiet spirit, born out of her faith and hope in God, and displayed in her trusting submission to her husband. Men, is the presence of this kind of beauty the driving force for your sense of attraction to your girlfriend? Or have you made romantic attraction and „chemistry” the deciding issue?

Now don’t get me wrong. You should be physically attracted to the woman you marry. This is one of the ways marriage serves as a protection against sexual immorality (1 Cor. 7:3-5). But we get in trouble, both in dating and in marriage, when we make physical beauty and „chemistry” the threshold issue in the decision to commit (or remain committed) to marriage.

Physical beauty in a fallen world is fading and transient. What’s more, the world narrowly defines beauty as the body of a teenager, and scorns the beauty of motherhood and maturity. But in which „body” is your wife going to spend most of her years with you? Personalities also change and mature, and what seems like „chemistry” when you’re 22 might feel like superficial immaturity 10 years later. Even over the course of a long courtship and engagement in the prime of your youth, physical attraction and chemistry are sure to go through ups and downs. We must resist the temptation to value the wrong kind of beauty.

No one lives in a perpetual state of „being in love.” But in marriage, our love is called to „always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere” (1 Cor. 13:7). If mere worldly, physical beauty is the main thing attracting our love, then our love will prove as ephemeral as that beauty. But if we have developed an attraction to true beauty, then we have nothing to fear. Marry a vibrant growing Christian woman, and you have Christ’s promise that he is committed to making her more and more beautiful, spiritually beautiful, with every passing day (Rom. 8:28; Phil. 1:6).

More questions to ask

How then do you decide, in a reasonable amount of time, whether or not to marry the woman you’re dating? Let me conclude with some more questions you should be asking.

  • Generally speaking, will you be able to serve God better together than apart?
  • Do you desire to fulfill the biblical role of a husband outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 with this specific woman? Do you want to love her sacrificially?
  • Does this relationship spur you on in your Christian discipleship, or does it dull and distract your interest in the Lord and his people? Are you more or less eager to study God’s word, and pray, and give yourself in service as a result of time spent together?
  • Do you think she will make a good discipler of your children?
  • What do other mature Christian friends and family members say about your relationship? Do they see a relationship that is spiritually solid and God-glorifying?

If you can’t answer the questions at all, then you may need to spend some more time getting to know each other. But if you can answer them (and others like them) either positively or negatively, then it’s time to stop test-driving the relationship and either commit to marriage or let someone else have the opportunity.

Copyright © 2006 Michael Lawrence. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. This article was published on Boundless.org on April 8, 2010.

Vad chipul tau draga mama, Ruben Filoti si poezia Mama, de Traian Dorz

MAMA  versuri Traian Dorz

Mi-ai cântat cu glas de lacrimi legănându-mă alene
Alinându-mi cu-al tău cântec lacrima ivita-n gene…

Și mi-ai plâns înfiorată cântecele duioșiei
De-ai trezit în al meu suflet cald fiorul armoniei,

Mi-ai citit în ceasuri sfinte din Cazanii și Scriptură
A lui Dumnezeu iubire ele-n inima crescură.

În singurătatea serii luminat de raza lunii
M-ai făcut să simt puterea și odihna rugăciunii.

De durerea altor lacrimi te-am văzut plângând pe tine
Și de-atuncea port durerea altora și eu în mine.

Pentru adevăr într-una te-am văzut fără de teamă
Și de-atuncea știu c-adevărul e curaj și luptă, mamă.

… A trecut în urmă vremea și-ntr-o toamnă grea târzie
m-a răpit de lângă tine lumea largă și pustie.

Ai vărsat atunci amare mii de lacrimi în năframă
Si cu inima zdrobita, m-ai pierdut în zare, mamă.

Mult umblai de-atunci prin lume, multe ochii mei văzură
Multe șoapte mă chemară, multe vânturi mă bătură,

Dar din mii de lucruri scumpe , de ființă și de nume
Tu-mi rămâi mereu ființa cea mai mult iubită-n lume.

…Astăzi sunt tot strein și singur și departe sunt de casă
Dar sunt fericit, măicuță, c-azi și tu ești credincioasă

Și că știu c-odată-n ceruri unde nu mai sunt suspine
Fericit voi fi-mpreună, printre cei iubiți, cu tine.

Dumnezeu să-ți dăruiască, scumpă mamă, mângâiere
Mâna Lui să-ți șteargă ochii de-orice lacrimi de durere,

Să-ți văd chipul totdeauna luminat de bucurie,
Cea mai fericită mamă, Doamne, mama mea să fie

nitaviorel1

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries

Blogosfera Evanghelică

Vizite unicate din Martie 6,2011

free counters

Va multumim ca ne-ati vizitat azi!


România – LIVE webcams de la orase mari