Teaching Your Kids How to Say ‘No’ to Porn

Some really good advice in an article by Jen Wilkin, posted on the Gospel Coalition last week:

The first time porn was served at the cafeteria lunch table, my son was 11 years old. Does that seem young to you? Research suggests that one in three children ages 11 to 14 have viewed pornography on a mobile device. Add to that the very real possibility that a child will stumble across explicit content on YouTube or in a pop-up ad during innocent computer usage, and one thing becomes clear: parents must be proactive in talking about porn with their kids.
I’m not a fearmonger when it comes to parenting. In fact, I think fear is a terrible motivator for making parenting decisions. But if children are being exposed to porn at young ages, the loving thing to do as a parent is to equip them to know how to respond. The most frequent parenting question I’m asked is, “When should I talk to my child about sex?” My adamant answer is, “Much earlier than you might think.” If you’re concerned about your child being exposed to porn, you have to talk about sex, and you must do so early.
Let me tell you what played out at the sixth-grade lunch table that day. When the phone with the images was offered, my son responded, “I don’t look at porn.” The owner of the phone, perplexed, asked, “Then how will you know how to have sex?” My son responded that his parents had told him all about it. Jaws dropped. Not one other sixth-grade boy at the table had yet talked with his parents about sex, or, it would seem, about porn. But they were by no means lacking in instruction.
We may stall on the sex talk, but the world will not. If we delay introducing the topic because of personal discomfort, shame, or uncertainty about how to begin, our children will form their first ideas about human sexuality based on the reports of their peers, the images on their devices, or the pop-ups that introduce them to porn. They will also assume their parents are not willing or equipped to handle discussions about sex.
Too many parents are still asking the wrong question with regard to children and explicit content. We can no longer ask, “How should I prepare my child for if they see porn?” Instead we must ask, “How should I prepare my child for when they see porn?” External controls are important, but they only shield your child from a handful of instances when porn can make an appearance. Mobile devices are everywhere, and your neighbor’s unsecured Wi-Fi is easy to find.
Jen even lays out what we should teach our children to say when the day comes that someone will offer to show them porn:
Train your children how to respond to an offer of porn by giving them scripted words to use, and a plan of action:
Parent: “If someone shows you a picture of something and asks you not to tell anyone, what should you do?”
Child: “Tell them ‘no thanks,’ and then come tell you.”
Parent: “If a picture of something strange comes up on the computer, what should you do?”
Child: “Ex it out, and then come tell you.”

The Lies of Lust and porn

Below the video are some verses  that tell us what the Bible has to say about pornography.

Dads, you must equip your boy or girl as to what pornography really is. They’re going to stumble over it, whether at a sleep over, or when walking by a computer at the public library. The best description of why pornography works and why it is so addictive is given by Paul. What is lust? According to Paul, lust is deceit. Pornography is a liar. You bought the lie, didn’t you. And you bought it a lot. Lust is deceitful. And deceit is the prime source of lust’s power.

eyeWhy is it that you act on your lust? Because it’s lying to you. What do you say in your brain? That little something that kicks and says, „I want that. That will feel good.” That’s a lie. Because lust is a lie. It promises you will feel good, but you don’t, do you? It is normal to have desire for one’s spouse, but, we’re talking about lust here- looking with sexual desire  and fantasies at what does not belong to you. It’s lying to you.

Now, enter this modern thing called pornography. This is like the sparkling diamond in the crown of lust. Because lust promises physical pleasure that is supposed to be so good and so powerful, but, it’s lying to you because it’s so powerful. It is a master deceiver and porn is its masterpiece. Porn is lust in its most tantalizing form. Why? Nothing is left to the imagination. Porn is the most blatant of all of lust’s lies. It is a hideous beast, it pummels its victims. Along comes porn and says, „This is going to be good.

Porn comes along to the hedonistic soul at heart, not finding satisfaction in God. Finding satisfaction is stuff- eating, drinking and being merry is the god of their world, and maybe yours too because you’re believing some of that lie that hedonism is a good goal and „it will feel good if I do it”. But Paul says: It’s a liar.

Lust promises that physical pleasure can deliver deep, unequaled and sustainable satisfaction. But, does it always deliver something else? Heart wrenching dissatisfaction, because it’s a liar. It never delivers what it promises. Pornography results with the exact opposite of its promise.

Every time you participate in pornography, it is mocking you „for stupidity”. The lie, AGAIN! You bough it again! Didn’t you learn it the last time, and the time before, and the time before that… when it lied to you, and you felt awful?

Todd Friel from his wretched radio broadcast June 17, 2011.

Psalm 119:37 – Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

Psalm 119:9-10 – How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

1 John 2:16 – For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Proverbs 7:21-27 – With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, …

Matthew 5:28 – But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 6:22-23 – “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Galatians 5:19 – Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

Habakkuk 2:15 – “Woe to him who makes his neighbors drink— you pour out your wrath and make them drunk, in order to gaze at their nakedness!

Romans 13:13 – Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 – For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.

1 Corinthians  6:18-20 – Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 6:9 – Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,

1 Corinthians 6:13 – Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Ephesians 2:3 – Among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

1 Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

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