Pornography – A Fatal Addiction: Ted Bundy’s Final Interview with James Dobson

Pentru traducere automata, fa click aici – Romanian

At 7 a.m. on Tuesday, January 24, 1989, convicted serial killer Ted Bundy was put to death in the electric chair at Florida State Prison. He admitted murdering more than 2 dozen young women but is widely believed to have killed many more. In this video-Bundy’s final and exclusive interview conducted by Focus on the Family President and psychologist James Dobson – Bundy takes viewers back to his roots, explaining the developement of his compulsive behavior.He reveals his addiction to hard-core pornography and how it fueled the terrible crimes he commited. Bundy warns that within our society, are men like him, whose violent tendencies are being encouraged by pornography. A controversial presentation-recorded just hours before Bundy’s execution-„Fatal Addiction” is the story of a tormented man, a man caught between the right and wrong he learned as a child and his plunge into the dark world of hard-core, violent pornography.

Bundy:

Part of the tragedy of this whole situation: Because I grew up in a wonderful home with two dedicated and loving parents, one of 5 brothers and sisters, a home where we, as children, were the focus of my parents lives- where we regularly attended church. [I had] two Christian parents who did not drink, they did not smoke. There was no gambling. There was no physical abuse or fighting in the home. I’m not saying this was „Leave it to Beaver” [a TV show portraying a ‘perfect family’], no such home exists, but, it was a fine solid Christian home and I hope no one will take the easy way out and will try to blame, or otherwise accuse my family of contributing to this, because I know, and I’m trying to tell you as honestly as I know how, what I think happened. And I think, this is the message that I wanna get across.

As a young boy, a boy of 12, 13, certainly, that I encountered (outside the home, again), in the local grocery store, in the local drug store, the soft core pornography, what people call soft core porn. But, I think, as I explained to you last night, Dr. Dobson, in an anecdote, as young men do, we explore the back rows and sideways and byways of our neighborhood. And often times, people would dump the garbage and whatever they were cleaning out of their house and from time to time, we would come across pornographic books of a harder nature and more graphic, of a more explicit nature, then you would encounter in your local grocery store. This also included some things as, say, detective magazines [with violence]. And this is something I want to emphasize: the most damaging kinds of pornography , and again, I’m talking from personal experience, hard, real, personal experience. The most damaging kinds of pornography are those that involve violence, sexual violence. Because the wedding of those 2 forces, as I have known only too well, bring about behavior that is just too terrible to describe.

….

It’s important to me for people to believe what I’m saying. I’m not blaming pornography and I’m not saying pornography caused me to go out and do certain things, that I take full responsibility for whatever I’ve done and all the things that I’ve done. That’s not the question here. The question and the issue is how this kind of literature contributed and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior. In the beginning, it fuels this kind of thought process. Then, at certain times, it’s instrumental in what I would say crystallizing it, making it something which is almost a separate entity inside. At that point, you’re at the verge, I was at the verge of acting out on these kinds of thoughts.

Dobson:

I wanna understand that. You had gone about as far as you could go in your fantasy life with printed material and film, magazines… And then, there was the urge to take that little step. A big step, over to a physical event.

Bundy:

It happened in stages, gradually. It doesn’t necessarily, not to me at least, happen over night. My experience with pornography, generally, but with pornography that deals on a violent level with sexuality is that once you become addicted to it, and I look at this as a kind of addiction. Like other kinds of addiction, I would keep looking for  more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder , harder, something which gives you a greater sense of excitement, until you reach the point where the pornography will go so far. You’ve reached that jumping off point, where you begin to wonder if maybe actually doing it will give you that which is beyond just reading about it or looking at it.

Dobson:

How long did you stay at that point, before you actually assaulted someone?

Bundy:

Well yeah, you see… that is a very delicate point in my own development, and we’re talking about, we’re talking about having reached the point or a gray area that surrounded a point of years. I would say a couple of years. And what I was dealing with there were very strong inhibitions against criminal behavior, violent behavior, that had been conditioned into me, bred into me in my environment, in my neighborhood, in my church, in my school. Things which said, „No, this is wrong.” Even to think of it as wrong, but certainly, to do it is wrong. And I’m on that edge, and the last vestiges of restraint, the barriers to actually doing something were being tested constantly and assailed through the kind of fantasy life that was fueled largely by pornography.

Dobson:

Do you remember what pushed you over that edge? Do you remember the decision to go for it? Do you remember where you decided to throw caution to the wind?

Bundy:

Well… again, when you say pushed, I know what you’re saying. I don’t want to infer that I was some helpless kind of victim. And yet, we’re talking about an influence, that is the influence of violent types of media and violent pornography, which was an indispensable link in the chain of behavior, in the chain of events that led to the behaviors, to the assaults, to the murders… It’s a very difficult thing to describe. The sensation of reaching that point where I knew, that I reached something that (say) snapped. That I knew that I couldn’t control it anymore. That these barriers that I had learned as a child and had been instilled in me, were not enough to hold me back with respect to seeking out  and harming somebody.

Dobson:

Would it be accurate to call that a frenzy, a sexual frenzy

Bundy:

Well, yes, that’s one way to describe it. A compulsion , a building up of this destructive energy. Again, another factor here, that I haven’t mentioned, is the use of alcohol. But I think, what alcohol did, in conjunction with my exposure to pornography, was, alcohol reduced my inhibitions. At the same time, the fantasy life fueled by pornography  eroded them further.

Dobson:

In the early days, you were always nearly half drunk when you did these things? Was that always true?

Bundy:

Yes, yes. I would say that that was generally the case, without exception.

Dobson:

If I can understand it, now there’s this battle going on, within. There are the conventions that you’ve been taught. There’s the right and wrong that you learned as a child and then, there’s this unbridled passion fueled by your plunge into the hardcore violent pornography. And those things are at war with each other. And then, with the alcohol diminishing the inhibitions, you let go.

Bundy:

You can summarize that way, and that’s accurate, certainly. And it just occurred to me that some people would say, „Well, I’ve seen that stuff and it doesn’t do anything to me. And I can understand that. Virtually, anyone can be exposed to so called „pornography” and while they’re aroused to it in one degree or another, may not go out and do anything wrong. (Dobson: Addictions are like that. They affect some people more than they affect others. But there is a percentage of people affected by hardcore pornography in a very violent way and obviously, you’re one of them.) That was a major component and I don’t know why I was vulnerable to it. All I know is that it had an impact on me that was just so central to the development of the violent behavior that I engaged in.

Text from the first few minutes of the interview.

VIDEO by Christianity Reason and Science

9 Things You Should Know About Pornography & the Brain

via The Gospel Coalition

  1.  Sexually explicit material triggers mirror neurons in the male brain. These neurons, which are involved with the process for how to mimic a behavior, contain a motor system that correlates to the planning out of a behavior. In the case of pornography, this mirror neuron system triggers the arousal, which leads to sexual tension and a need for an outlet. „The unfortunate reality is that when he acts out (often by masturbating), this leads to hormonal and neurological consequences, which are designed to bind him to the object he is focusing on,” says Struthers. „In God’s plan, this would be his wife, but for many men it is an image on a screen. Pornography thus enslaves the viewer to an image, hijacking the biological response intended to bond a man to his wife and therefore inevitably loosening that bond.”
  2. In men, there are five primary chemicals involved in sexual arousal and response. The one that likely plays the most significant role in pornography addiction is dopamine. Dopamine plays a major role in the brain system that is responsible for reward-driven learning. Every type of reward that has been studied increases the level of dopamine transmission in the brain, and a variety of addictive drugs, including stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine, act directly on the dopamine system.
  3. Why do men seek out a variety of new explicit sexual images rather than being satisfied with the same ones? The reason is attributed to the Coolidge effect, a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners.
  4. Overstimulation of the reward circuitry—such as occurs with repeated dopamine spikes related to viewing pornography—creates desensitization.
  5. „Whenever the sequence of arousal and response is activated, it forms a neurological memory that will influence future processing and response to sexual cues. As this pathway becomes activated and traveled, it becomes a preferred route—a mental journey—that is regularly trod.
  6. What makes Internet porn unique? Wilson identifies a number of reasons, including: (1) Internet porn offers extreme novelty; (2) Unlike food and drugs, there are almost no physical limitations to Internet porn consumption; (3) With Internet porn one can escalate both with more novel „partners” and by viewing new and unusual genres; (4) Unlike drugs and food, Internet porn doesn’t eventually activate the brain’s natural aversion system; and (5) The age users start watching porn. A teen’s brain is at its peak of dopamine production and neuroplasticity, making it highly vulnerable to addiction and rewiring.
  7. Men’s exposure to sexually explicit material is correlated with social anxietydepression,low motivationerectile dysfunctionconcentration problems, and negative self-perceptions in terms of physical appearance and sexual functioning.
  8. This video: 
  9. This video:

Read the article in its entirety here – The Gospel Coalition

You Forget About God, Family When Addicted to Porn

Please don’t miss the second post, below this one, titled: How Do You Counsel A Husband Who Has Revealed a Struggle with Pornography to His Wife? (Advice for pastors on an increasingly relevant topic)

via http://www.christianpost.com (photo via Facebook)

Pornography is an unspoken word in most congregations, but this powerful addiction is permeating Christian households, and is destroying marriages and parent-child relationships.

To combat the addiction to pornography, Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., created his own program, „One Million Men Porn Free,” because he wasn’t able to find resource materials that he could use to defeat the devastating effects the lure of pornography had on members of his church.

„I led our church initially through this program in March and April of 2010,” said Dennis, who leads a congregation of 9,000 members. „I met with our men for six Wednesday evening sessions, with the last session being the commitment rally. I also met with our women for one session and our parents for one session. The women’s session was called ‘What Men Wish Their Wives Knew About Pornography.’ The parents’ session was titled ‘Protecting Your Child From Sexual Brokenness.'”

Dennis hopes the „Join 1 Million Men” program will ultimately strengthen churches by helping pastors get the subject of pornography out in the open so they can work on rebuilding families and marriages.

„If the pastor is not addressing the issue, either he doesn’t feel it’s enough of a problem, or it’s too shameful to discuss in church,” said Dennis, who cites the biblical scriptures of Job 31:1, Psalm 119:37 and I Timothy 5:2 to illustrate the ways in which men should view and respect women.
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/one-million-men-porn-free-pastor-you-forget-about-god-family-when-addicted-to-porn-90771/#cc7OQ2lz48I0RgjW.99

Every pastor already faces this. Unfortunately, I fear the problem will only become more common in the future; that is marriage counseling as a result of a husband’s struggle with pornogrpahy. The work to restore trust and intimacy within a marriage deeply affected by this sinful struggle is only possible through the gospel and applied most effectively within the local church; having said that, consider six practical ways that husband can reestablish trust and intimacy with his hurting wife:

1) Be patient towards your hurting wife.Men are known to deal with something, then move on. A wife, especially one sinned against by pornography will not move on so quickly.

2) Understand the seriousness of your sin against her. Sexual sin hurts a wife more deeply than most other sins against her. A husband needs to realize that the reasons this sin stings so much is that it seems to confirm almost every doubt and insecurity most women already battle within themselves. Understanding the seriousness of this sin and the pain it causes will help cultivate patience and prevent a reoccurrence of it.

3) Look to your wife to play an important role of accountability. It is easy to seek the accountability of another man when it comes to this struggle because, we say, “only another man knows what the battle is like.” Yet, you do not have to sleep next to that man every night. You do not have to look into his eyes knowing the hurt you caused. You do not have to be as patient and gracious with your buddy through this like you must with your wife. It may need to be in the context of regular counseling for a while, but convince him his wife will be a great asset to establish his new patterns and protection from falling again.

4) Consistently and creatively romance your wife. A husband should have already been pursuing his wife romantically as a regular practice. Now, he must understand this pattern must be established to restore his marriage.

5) Affirm your physical attraction to her. It should surprise no man that when he looks at other women in lustful ways, it will communicate a sharp message to his wife that he does not find her attractive. Most men would confess that is not what drove them to pornography, but it is inescapable that this is how a wife feels because of it. Encourage the man verbally to affirm his physical attraction to his wife. Then, he must back it up with his actions.

6) Realize the battle never ends this side of eternity. The gospel is powerful to free men from this bondage and to establish new patterns in their lives, but the fences of accountability must always remain.

Pornography – the „family killer” that is increasing divorce and infidelity rates

photo via http://www.images.learnsoc.org

Experts call it the „quiet family killer.”

Pornography is a booming business, but the addiction is now to blame for a growing number of divorces.

Four to 16 hours a day of sexually explicit videos and pictures. That’s how far porn addiction goes for many of Michael Howard’s married clients.

„For the spouse or partner that feels betrayed, it’s as if their partner is choosing someone or something else over them,” said Howard, a marriage and family therapist at the Healing Solutions Counseling Center.

Howard says pornography breaks relationships as much or more than cheating.

„Feelings of inadequacy. Am I not good enough, am I not pretty enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, am I not good enough in bed?” said Howard.

Divorce and child custody attorneys say those doubts lead many couples to court.

„We see over 50 percent, probably between 50 and 60 percent of every case, someone is alleging pornography excessive use,” said Angela McIlveen, of Mcllveen Family Law Firm.
Read the entire article here – http://www.foxcharlotte.com/news/top-stories/Porn-Use-Increasing-Local-Divorce

New Book: When your husband is addicted to pornography + 2 more

There’s a new book that has just been published, and I must say it is much needed. There are now many books on the market for those that are struggling with pornography and sex addiction, however, this is the first that I have seen that deals with the other victim of pornography- the spouse. Many women live through the darkness and fog of dealing with their husband’s addiction to pornography and suffer in silence and shame. This book looks like it is very helpful in helping women understand their role, find healing, and regain their trust in God and life in general. Having had the opportunity to speak to many  female readers of this blog who find themselves in this very situation, I am thankful that Vicki Tiede was gracious enough to share her story and pain, in order to help so many other women out there that don’t know where to turn. Below this book, there are also 2 other books geared towards men and women who are personally struggling with pornography.

WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO PORNOGRAPHY:

HEALING YOUR WOUNDED HEART

Description: After the Shock Moving from Despair to Healing and Hope

When your husband’s addiction to pornography leaves you shattered, betrayed, and alone, where do you turn? Who do you turn to? Vicki Tiede, writing from personal experience, gently guides women toward God and away from despair. Through daily readings and questions on six important topics: hope, surrender, trust, identity, brokenness, and forgiveness, you will grow in healing and hope. Allowing God to meet your greatest needs is a long and learned process, but he promises to help you every step of the way. Questions and daily readings are suitable for both individuals and small groups.

„Vicki Tiede has done an extraordinary job of describing one of the „hidden sins” in our churches and culture that destroys marriages and causes deep anguish. She shares the stories of twenty-five women who have known this pain; and she gives poignant, biblical advice on a workable plan of action. Vicki¿s willingness to tell her own story makes this book shine with warmth, depth, and renewed hope. If you are struggling with the problem personally or if you counsel people who do, read this book!”
–Carol Kent, Speaker; author of Between a Rock and a Grace Place

„There is no doubt that pornography has created a tsunami of personal and relational pain. While culture might suggest that it is normal, the trauma that it creates in marriages suggests that it is not healthy. Vicki brings her extensive experience in Bible teaching to provide hope and healing for spouses who have been betrayed by pornography addiction.  Her use of Scripture gently reminds spouses to lean into God¿s truths: He will provide, protect, and walk along all those who are hurting; you are not alone.”
–Debbie Laaser, LAMFT; author of Shattered Vows

„Vicki Tiede’s book provides hope, help, and a pathway to healing for women marred by their husband’s addiction to pornography. Based on biblical principles, this resource can aid the reader to become a victor rather than a victim.”
–Josh McDowell, Speaker; best-selling author

„A porn plague is raging in homes across the world today, and for every addicted husband there is a brokenhearted wife. While there is an abundance of powerful, biblical resources to help men overcome addiction, their wives have largely been overlooked. I am grateful that Vicki Tiede has filled that void. In a book that is sensitive, biblical, and conversational, she comes alongside hurting women as a friend and guides them to the hope and peace only the gospel can give.”
–Tim Challies, Author; pastor; blogger

About the Author
Vicki Tiede, MEd, MMin, is a Bible teacher; conference speaker; author of Plug Me In and Let Me Charge Overnight (2009); and a contributing author for five other books. Her passion is to share God’s grace and faithfulness with women through the Scriptures. Vicki transparently relates life experiences that resonate and draw others into a lifelong pursuit of knowing God. Living in Rochester, Minnesota, Vicki is also a wife, homeschooling mom, and women’s ministries coordinator at her local church.

You can order the book here- http://www.monergismbooks.com/When-Your-Husband-Is-Addicted-to-Pornography $16.99 On Sale for a short/limited time for $10.

SEXUAL ADDICTION:

FREEDOM FROM COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR (CCEF)

Binding: Booklet  Page Count: 32 $3.99
Description: If you’re struggling with a sexual addiction of any sort, you understand that feeling of being trapped, out of control, and afraid of being found out. No matter what you try, it seems impossible to break free from the lure of illicit sexual thoughts and practices.

Author David Powlison encourages those who want to overcome their compulsive sexual behavior to remember that lasting change comes in degrees and is often a slow progressive process. Addiction sufferers will discover powerful action steps to take and introspective heart questions to ask as they seek to conquer this harmful sin issue. Even though sexual temptation is everywhere, God’s power and resource is closer still because the Holy Spirit resides within us to meet our every need.

About the Author
David Powlison, M.Div., Ph.D., is a faculty member and counselor at CCEF with over thirty years of experience. He has written numerous articles on counseling, many booklets, including Facing Death with Hope, Healing after Abortion,Recovering from Child Abuse, and Renewing Marital Intimacy, and several books, including Seeing with New Eyes, Speaking Truth in Love, and The Biblical Counseling Movement: History and Context.

You can buy it here for $3.99 – http://www.monergismbooks.com/Sexual-Addiction-Freedom-from-Compulsive-Behavior

PORNOGRAPHY: SLAYING THE DRAGON

Binding: Booklet  Page Count: 20
Description: “Private sexual fantasy can preoccupy vast areas of a person’s mental life,” notes David Powlison. “As explicit sexual images proliferate in films and magazines, on television, and over the Internet, the temptations increase and the bondage seems unbreakable. Even Christians can find that their lives have become a push-pull struggle between indulging in fantasy and resisting it.”

Is it really possible to slay the dragon of pornography and fantasy once it has gained control of your life?” asks Powlison. The answer is yes, as you will see from this interview with a man called Bob, who experienced Christ’s deliverance in this part of his life.

You can buy the booklet here for $2.99 – http://www.monergismbooks.com/Pornography-Slaying-the-Dragon

When it comes to sexual temptation- FLEE!

When it comes to sexual temptation, the only way to get out of it- the prompting- and you know what is the general guideline for sexual temptation? God says, „Flee fornication!” 

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

Flee- you know what’s ‘flee’? Run! Like Joseph. Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife. You know, this guy Potiphar, he’s a high ranking officer of Pharaoh. Potiphar can have any woman he wants. He had nobility, he was a high ranking official and he has all the women he wants for his harem. But, for his wife he would choose the very best and she was probably very beautiful. And that’s why when she tried to seduce Joseph, Joseph ran. There were no commandments because Joseph lived before the commandments. But, Joseph knew how to face sexual temptation. This is one temptation you don’t stand there saying, „Come on.. I’ll fight you in Jesus name.” No, just run, flee.

Flee means- you are driving along and you meet an old friend, someone you had been attracted to last time or whatever and she says, „Will you give me a lift?” And you say, „No, because… testimony… people see me and…you know, you understand…. here’s some money for a taxi. Flee, flee. In my case, I don’t counsel the opposite sex and because I don’t, I can tell all my (assistant) pastors, „Don’t counsel the opposite sex.” Our church has invested heavily in the training of female counselors  and these ladies are trained by me, the guidelines are set by me and they counsel the ladies of the church.  Because problems start with good intentions.

The problem is that you are not fleeing. There is something unique about sexual sin. It affects your body. The Bible tells you that this sin will affect your body, the other sins won’t. Is it your health? Will you age so much faster? I do not know, but I do know it will affect your body. I remember some years ago, I noticed a counselor in our church, he was very popular, ladies were coming to him to be counseled. So, I talked to the wife and told her: watch him. We don’t allow guys to counsel women, but, sometimes situations are such…  that we are flexible. But, keep an eye on your husband. She said, „You know what pastor? I trust my husband.” You know what, I said, „I don’t want my wife to trust me in this area.” Why? Because I am red blooded. I’m a man. I don’t want my wife to trust me in this area. No, no, no.

You know why? Because evreything starts out innocently. A little flirtation, a little attraction. The guy really wants to counsel the girl. The forces of attraction are very strong. So, the best thing is not to trust yourself in this area. PUT NO CONFIDENCE IN THE FLESH. You need to understand why people fall into sin. It works like this in the cycle:

  1. First of all temptation comes. It can come in a talk, or something you saw, something you remembered,
  2. Then, before it becomes sin, this always happens. The in between is this: Confidence in the flesh (I can handle this). The apostle Paul says in Philippians 3, „Put no confidence in the flesh.” We must not trust in this area. For example, take a boy, your computer is outside the room (or on his cellphone). The boy says, „you don’t trust me dad?” Tell him, „I trust you, I just don’t trust your flesh.” That’s a smart dad. Because I don’t trust my own flesh. When you don’t trust your flesh you are safe. The moment you say, „I can handle this, I can watch this show, no problem,” and you may mean it but, you are putting confidence in the flesh. And your flesh will always bring you to the dark side. You think: Oh, it’s getting late and an attractive girl like her should not be going home alone. I think I’ll take her back. Innocent, alright? I can handle this. Or I’ll just open this email. You know, there’s some suggestive photos but the website is okay. Or this movie, there’s some good elements… I can handle this. It starts with confidence in the flesh. You’re smart if you learn to run like Joseph. And you know something? (In the end) God could trust him to rule. Does that mean poor Joseph was repressed for the rest of his life? No, he had a lovely wife, had children, had double fruitfulness. He enjoyed married life and best of all, he was able to have a clear conscience.
  3. If you have utter confidence in the flesh you fall into sin, indulgence.
  4. And the prompt of sin is guilt. In guilt you have new resolutions. „From now on, I’ll never turn on the computer. From now on, I’ll never look at the opposite sex. From now on, I won’t even talk to the opposite sex.” You know, some extreme stupidity. „From now on, never again, never again…” When the devil hears that, the devil says, „Good!” Resolutions don’t work because they presume on man’s strength. The more you distrust in yourself in this matter, the better it is for you.  Once you have these guilt resolution, you have a propensity for fresh temptations.

The way Jesus broke this is He counseled a woman, He ministered a woman caught in adultery. She wasn’t a prostitute. She was caught in adultery and what did Jesus tell her? „I don’t condemn you. Go and sin no more.” The church has it backwards. The church says, „Go and sin no more first, then we won’t condemn you.” In other words, Jesus gave her the gift of no condemnation and that became an empowerment to go and sin no more.

Addiction to pornography has destroyed countless lives and marriages, even in the church. What is at the root of this addiction, and how can this and all destructive addictions be truly broken once and for all? Joseph Prince tackles these questions head-on and shows from God’s Word how only God’s grace and gift of no condemnation can truly set one free. Listen to this life-changing message today, and allow God’s grace to deliver, lead and empower you to experience victory over condemnation and every destructive habit in your life!

Uploaded by  on Jun 1, 2011

How does a wife feel when a husband looks at porn?

For Family Resources PAGE click here

The Christian Post features 4 wives who tell their story (in short form):

  1. April thought the problem was because of her. Maybe if she was skinnier, or taller, or blonder…
  2. CIndy, upon walking in on her husband viewing porn:  „Immediately my heart sank, and I remember this sick feeling wash over me. The thought that began to plague my mind instantly was, “How will I ever be able to compete with her?”
  3. Laura, upon browsing her husband’s computer history: I clenched my jaw and set my heart in disgust towards my husband: my heart was filled with bitterness toward this man who wasted our time, energy, and resources on lust while I worked so hard to take care of our family.
  4. Nicole, upon discovering her fiancee’s porn addiction 3 days before their wedding: „…I continued to discover porn on our computer. A well of fear and desperation led me to confront Jon about these activities. At first he denied them. He had explanations for everything I found, and I wanted to believe everything he told me. Yet, something didn’t quite add up, and I would push him until he acknowledged that he had in fact visited the porn sites. This led to seeds of distrust from the very beginning of our marriage—not only my distrust of him, but of myself and my instincts”

You can read their complete stories here-

Download the free e-book: Hope After Porn: 4 women share their stories of heartbreak…and how their marriages were saved. In this book April, Cindy, Laura, and Nicole give readers a glimpse of the betrayal and the hurt they felt discovering their husbands’ pornography problem. They also share the choices they made to try and make a difference in their marriages and families.

SOURCE – CHRISTIAN POST – http://blogs.christianpost.com/guest-views/how-does-a-wife-feel-when-her-husband-looks-at-porn-11679/

A great christian website for wives and husbands –  Covenant Eyes

Related articles

Perry Stone – How addictions damage the brain (Part 2 of an ongoing series- from a Christian perspective)

In Part 1  Perry Stone with guest Sharon Maloney discuss addiction. Many Christians do not even know they have an addiction, they are in denial and they think they can help break it themselves. Sharon shows what addictions with drugs or even pornography does to the brain. She gives some life size examples through brain scan pictures, including a brain scan of a brain  of a person who consumes alcohol on a steady basis. Click here to watch PART 1.

In Part 2  below – Addictions cause damage to the brain. Not just drugs, but prescription drugs, marajuana (some people use it medically), and pornography. Sharon describes how addiction to pornography happens. When you look at the images, they get imprinted on the brain and they could surface by the brains retrieval of the pictures instantaneously. It gets encoded on the brain on the emotional memory center of the brain because the pleasure pathway lights up and dopamine is dumped in tot he system. Not only is it encoded on the brain but people get back to that to get the same feeling they would get from drugs. When someone looks at pornography, the brain makes them believe they are really in the sex act. Sharon shows more brain scans.

VIDEOS on TBN here – Addictions http://www.itbn.org/index/person/lib/people/sublib/Sharon+Maloney

VIDEOS on TBN Manna Fest with Perry Stone here – 120 episodes http://www.itbn.org/search?search=manna+fest+addictions&submit_search=search

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpQpE3ha170 private now

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