How far is too far, to go, for an engaged couple?

photo via christiandatinggateway.com

listen to the Podcast via DesiringGod.org (length 11 minutes)

I would say to the women, don’t entice a man to touch you thinking that this is the way to keep a man. He is not worth keeping if that is the way he is kept. And feel free to say to any man, “No, please don’t take us there.” And you can discern what kind of a man you are dealing with by how sensitive he is to that dimension of purity.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, they will see God” [Matthew 5:8]. That is what we want. We want to see God. . . . If a single person is listening to this saying, “Oh, all very nice. I’m not married, and there is nobody on the horizon. What am I supposed to do?” I just want to say one thing. Don’t feel second class. Jesus Christ is the most complete human being whoever lived and he never had sex. Not to be married and not to have sex is not to be an incomplete human being.

CLICK here to listen to the 11 minute mp3

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The Ask Pastor John daily podcast is a series of 3–8 minute conversations released on weekdays at 11am (EST) via the DG Facebook and Twitter feeds. You can tune in to the new episodes through the new Ask Pastor John iPhone app, which can be donwloaded for free here. We’re currently hosting all the recordings onSoundCloud, a website that makes it easy to listen to several of the podcasts in one sitting. They’re also archived on the DG website and syndicated in iTunes.

Family Series 16 A – How should singleness be different for Christians?

You can listen to the audio here. (DesiringGod.org) by John Piper.

The following is an edited transcript of the audio.

How should singleness be different for Christians?

I don’t think that a lot of the singleness that we see happening today is designed to increase devotedness to the Lord. That’s what Paul said it should be. He said that the problem with marriage in crisis situations that he found himself in was that it would distract a person from full devotion to the Lord.

Well, when I look around at the kind of secular singleness we see today, that’s the last thing on many singles’ minds. „I’m keeping myself free from the entanglements of marriage in order that there might be a more radical focus on and devotion to Jesus Christ”—that kind of thinking is not what is dictating the change of statistics in our culture.

No, it’s probably almost the reverse. Many people are afraid of commitments and relationships, and many people are eager to stretch their wings and do their own thing. And then maybe later, when they’ve traveled the world and done lots of things that satisfied them, then maybe they will lock in to somebody…maybe.

So there’s a lot of the independence and a lot of desire to satisfy their own immediate desires, which has nothing to do with what Paul was talking about, namely, increased devotion to the Lord.

How would you challenge a Christian who has these selfish desires?

I would say that singleness is a gift for as long as you have it. Some people God means to have it for a lifetime, and some people God means to have it for a season. But while you have it, consult the Scriptures to see how you can maximize the freedoms of singleness for the glory of Christ, because there are advantages to being married, and there are advantages to singleness when it comes to serving Jesus.

And I would just encourage Christian single people to ask, „For this chapter in my life, while I am single, what is it about my singleness that could make me especially fruitful for Christ?” And then I would encourage them to give themselves to that.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

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