Dr. Heath Lambert, author of „Finally Free” at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I’d answer that (question) like this:
The men I’m doing ministry with, who are coming to me and saying, „I have this incredible struggle with pornography, I’ve been stuck for a long time and I don’t know how to get out of it.” By the time I’m having this conversation with someone, I’m actually encouraged. That doesn’t freak me out at all, I’m really encouraged when you’ve got a guy who says, „Let me open up my life and tell you what’s going on.” The people that concern me are the people that I’m not talking to. People that aren’t talking to the pastor, that aren’t talking to somebody else, because those are the people who are destroying their ministry, or their future ministry. They’re destroying their marriage and family, or their future marriage and family.
Because the way sin works, is it destroys. The lie of internet pornography is ‘, I’ll do this little thing over here, and it’s nasty, and it’s ugly, but I get finished with it and I cover it up, and I’ll go back to the rest of my life.” And the problem is that sin doesn’t stay covered up. You think you can control it, and you cannot control it. And it will break out, it will ruin your life.
And the tragedy of that is that the worst consequences are actually the ones that are stored up over a long amount of time. And so, these men who are doing this are sipping on poison that is eventually going to kill their ministry efforts and their efforts at marriage and family. They’re literally destroying their lives and their effectiveness for Christ, and they don’t even understand it. (Photos via Amazon)
See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385832
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(2) For those seeking to overcome pornography,
what practical measures are commonly missing from their strategy?
See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385831
The most important thing, and this is what I try to detail in the book, the most important reality is that you have got to have a method for change that’s founded on the Gospel of Christ. Legalism doesn’t work, moralism doesn’t work, guilt trips don’t work. The common element that you see in so many books, and in so many sermons is, „If you don’t stop looking at porn your wife’s gonna think you’re a pervert, and your kid’s gonna think you’re a freak. And your church is gonna think you’re a horrible, terrible person. While those things might be true, that winds up being a terrible foundation for real and lasting change. And so, the most important thing is that we need to motivate men to change, by the Gospel of grace. We can change, and we should change, because of who Jesus is and what He has done for us.
That’s the first thing. It’s very practical to believe that. That’s not just this confessional statement of orthodoxy. That’s, „You can’t change the way Jesus wants you to change, if you try to change without Jesus’s grace.” That’s one significant thing. Another significant thing is that men think they’re gonna change on their own, without help. They think, „Well, I feel really badly. I’m gonna pray and ask Jesus for some help, but try to keep this thing covered up because if my mom finds out she’ll freak. If my church finds out, I’m fired. So, I gotta keep this quiet. You will not change that way.
Sin thrives in the darkness and the only way to defeat it is by exposing it to the light. A third way that people fail is when they try to bring other people in, but they bring people in that are the wrong people. So they don’t tell people that are wise enough to help them. Or they try to bring people in the wrong way, by giving them all kinds of details and information that they don’t need. That is the purpose of the book, to detail how you bring in the Gospel of grace, and how you tell others in a way that is going to be conducive to real and lasting change.
See Parts 3 & 4 also which answer the following questions:
Part 3 – How can people identify whether their sorrow over sin is godly sorrow or worldly sorrow?
See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385833
That’s a great question, and where so much of the action is. Because you can have 2 people that are both sobbing, that are begging to be different, that are both begging you to help them and they swear they’re gonna change from now on. And you don’t know if either of them, or any of them, if they’re serious about it, if that’s the kind of change that will last. And so, this is why Paul’s language in 2 Corinthian 7 is so helpful, because he makes a distinction between these 2 kinds of sorrow. There’s Godly sorrow that leads to life and peace and there is worldly sorrow that leads to death and despair. And the difference is fundamentally, whether the sorrow is about you and your kingdom, or about Jesus and His kingdom. If you’re sad because you got found out, if you’re sad because of the consequences, that is the kind of sorrow that will kill you. The Bible is very clear on this. But if you’re sad over your sin because God’s law has been broken, because you’ve grieved the Holy Spirit, then that is the kind of sorrow that indicates that you’re turning the corner because it indicates that you’re moving from yourself, in your own lust, which is why you looked at the porn to begin with, towards God and His kingdom. And the markers between those are a number that I mention in the book. But, just a few that I’d mention here that are most significant are:
- Do you have the willingness to reach out to others for help? Do you have the willingness to expose yourself and bring the darkness into the light?
- Do you have the willingness to accept the consequences? Are you willing to have your wife be upset?
- Are you willing to tell your parents and have them cut off your internet privileges?
- Are you willing to lose your job at your church because of being sexually immoral?
People who are willing to face the consequences are people who are demonstrating that their sorrow is the Godly kind that leads to life.
Part 4 – How are pastors particularly vulnerable to pornography, and what are the dangers?
See the 2 min video here – https://vimeo.com/73385834
There is a recent statistic out that says that 75% of pastors do nothing to make themselves accountable to anyone with regard to pornography. That’s terrible. I don’t think I wanna make a law here, where the Bible leaves people free, but I think I wanna say that in this pornographic age, it is reckless and irresponsible for a minister of the Gospel to take no measures to insulate themselves from pornography, for this reason: Pornography is looking for you. You don’t even have to think, „Oh, I might struggle with this.” Pornography is looking for you. There’s all this research that the porn industry is engaging in marketing , and in paying all kinds of things to attract people that aren’t currently looking at it. They’re spending millions and billions of dollars to get you in. And pastors that are really concerned to protect themselves and their families, and their flock from this real silent killer, need to be serious about putting some kind of accountability measures in their life, whether it’s just an accountability partner to say, „Hey, here’s where I’m struggling. Here’s some areas where you can pray with me.” Certainly, internet filters and protection on tablet devices and phones. That’s something that everybody can do, but I say that particularly for pastors since that recent statistic is so high.
Photo din video
Church service in Cameroon. Photo credit 
Zeci de biserici penticostale au fost închise în Camerun, după ce autoritățile guvernamentale s-au sesizat privind presupuse „practici criminale” care ar avea loc în cadrul lăcașurilor de închinare. Photo on right 
agnus dei - english + romanian blog 