USE GOOGLE Translator:
Albanian Arabic Bulgarian CatalanChinese Simplified Chinese TraditionalCroatian Czech Danish Dutch EstonianFilipino Finnish French Galician GermanGreek Hebrew Hindi Hungarian IndonesianItalian Japanese Korean Lativian LithuanianMaltese Norwegian Polish PortugueseRomanian Russian Serbian Slovak SlovenianSpanish Swedish Thai Turkish UkrainianVietnamese
This is a very important article on pornography, in relation to children. Please click through and read this entire article, through the link provided at the bottom of the page, and then pass it along to anyone else who is raising children.
…from the article, by Rick Thomas, for Churchleader.com
The seeds of lust can be planted in the mind of a child years before acting on them.
–no parent wants their child to become involved in pornography.
-pornography for a man is not primarily about the physicality of a woman.
A woman’s appearance is an external magnet for the eye to enjoy, but the greater problem for the man is the cravings of the heart.
Pornography is first and foremost about thetheater of the mind, where the man can enter into his virtual world and be king for a day, or, in this case, king for a few minutes as he satisfies his mind with the risk-free intrigue of the cyber conquest.
Porn is a secret world that resides in the heart. It is lust, which feeds itself while in the darkness of a person’s mind. This makes what we do as parents all the more important because the mind of a child is not altogether discernible. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. —James 1:14-15 (ESV)
The seeds of lust can be planted in the mind of a child years before he or she is old enough to act out on what has been growing inside the heart.
The continuum of being lured and enticed by sin to desiring and conceiving sin does not have to happen in a rapid sequence. It can take years for this sinful sequence to bring sin and death to a person’s life. In most cases, the allurement and enticement of the porn addict begins in his mind while still a child. This has been a consistent pattern I have seen in counseling.
Porn Training—Only certain kinds of women are porn-worthy.
A major characteristic of the porn-trained mind is how some people are worthy to be lusted after and others are not worthy. We all know who is worth our lust-filled attention.
Women certainly know what can draw the attention of a man. This is why so many of them obsess over how they look, how much they weigh, what they wear and the horror of growing old.
Though they would not connect this as being porn-worthy, many of them want to beworthy of their husband’s attention—they want to be desired. While this is not necessarily wrong, it can be deadly, especially in a marriage where the wife is not desired.
A husband who does not romantically pursue his wife can send a message to his children that she is not worthy of being pursued. She does not fit his criteria. She is not attractive to him. Couple this with filling the child’s mind with sensual TV commercials and movies, and it begins to establish a kind of beauty that is worthy of a person’s gaze—a beauty the Bible does not exalt.
Porn Training—Cyber-women are downloadable and extinguishable.
The spoiled child who is given everything he wants is a perfect candidate for porn training. An integral characteristic of the pornographer is the immediate accessibility and extinguishability of the cyber-girl.
Porn Training—Married couples communicate less and less, a requirement for porn enjoyment.
One of the common complaints I hear from couples in marriage counseling is the couple’s lack of communication. They hardly talk to each other. If they do talk, it’s usually about family events, mutual transactions and marital business.
Noncommunication is a prerequisite for the porn trainee because viewing porn is not a verbal endeavor. Pornography is enjoyment for the twisted heart that does not require verbal interaction.
The children of noncommunicative parents are trained in the devaluing of words, which is also a devaluing of the opposite sex. A man who does not talk to his wife is sending a loud message—she is not worthy of my words.
Nothing devalues a woman more than pornography. The female is objectified only for the purpose of being used in a slavish way to satisfy the putrid mind of a man. Talking is not part of this scenario.
Husbands, your children need to see the value you give your wife by giving her your best words throughout your day. These are words that build up, cherish, nourish and adore your wife. Show the value you place on the woman you married. Let her be exalted in the minds of your children.
Porn Training—Teaches a false confidence through a risk-free relationship.
A child who does not have to pay for what he has done wrong will learn how to get away with anything. This is the kind of behavior that gives a porn addict a false confidence in a risk-free virtual environment. Children need a comprehensive view of love, which means they must be appropriately disciplined when they do wrong (Hebrews 12:6). The spoiled child who suffers little consequences in life will have a low regard for rules and authority.
Porn has no rules, and it’s a low-risk habit. It doesn’t take much to do porn. It’s not like robbing a bank. A child who knows he can get away with things is easy prey for porn’s allurements. Biblical discipline is a matter of respect and honor for God and His Word. There is right and wrong in God’s world.
The porn addict does not have this kind of respect. The lines are blurred, a reality for him that did not begin when he first viewed pornography. Many porn addicts have a low view of the law of God. They simply do not care, because they have not been made to care. One of the ways you can discern this in your child is by how he respects his siblings or his mother. Typically, a child will disregard his mother more than he will his dad. When children do this, they are stretching the boundaries of honor, respect, kindness and biblical love.
Porn Training—Criticism and anger are the most common ways we devalue others.
Is your home a critical community? Is it a place of encouragement, praise, affirmation and love, or frustration, impatience, criticalness and self-centeredness?
The porn world is a refuge where people go to escape the sadness of their lives. It’s a place where the addict can obtain personal satisfaction for his dissatisfied life. There is no place on earth that has affected him more that what has transpired in his home. Even the church cannot accomplish what the home can, whether good or bad. If the home is not a refuge of encouragement, your child will be tempted to find his refuge. Porn is always beckoning for the sad soul.
Porn will never criticize, condemn, admonish, discourage or disappoint. Porn builds up the hurting soul. All the addict needs to do is tweak his conscience to make it alright in his mind. Once his conscience is appropriately hardened, he is home free—according to his self-deception. The best antidote for this kind of twisted thinking is to create a culture of encouragement in his home.
The porn-trained child
Porn training happens by abdication. Children are responders, and they will respond, good or bad, to what is given to them. Their hearts are like open buckets, longing to be filled. It is the parent’s joy and privilege to cooperate with the LORD in rearing a child.
Parenting well does not mean your child is home-free. Parenting poorly does not mean your child is predetermined to be bad. A parent’s behavior does not determine the morality of the child. The grace of God does. However, our personal responsibility to biblically steward our children does matter. We should not presume on the grace of God (Psalm 19:13).
The question for us to answer from this article is, “How do I need to change in order to cooperate with the LORD in the parenting of my child?”
By Rick Thomas. Rick has been training in the Upstate of South Carolina since 1997. After several years as a counselor and pastor he founded and launched his own training organization in order to assist Christians around the world regarding a better understanding and practice of discipleship.
Read the entire article at Churchleaders.com